TTC Month 2 is over and out

Background: no period for 380 days.
December? Spontanious period and started 1 vial Menopur per night on CD3. 5 days of this showed that I wasnt really responding so we cancelled my cycle, took two weeks off, and then I took BC for 21 days to force the next period. That brought us to January.

January: Started on 3 vials of menopur per night on CD3. Did two nights of 3 vials then dropped to 2 vials per night. Went in for US and it showed  a little response. We kicked it back up to 3  vials per night for the next three nights then back in for an ultrasound. This cycle went on for a total of 15 days on the Menopur where the final US showed that I finally responded,...but by then I had responded too much - atleast 5 follies that could potentially get fertilized if we inseminated. We waited one more night without any drugs because my estrogen test showed good numbers and went back in for another US. Yeah, NO. more than 5 follies rarin' to go. We decided the best thing to do would be to cancel my cycle rather than risk hyper stimulation from the trigger shot and worse... a high order multple situation.

Its only been two days since then. I am still quite bloated and uncomfortable.... heavy in my abdomin. I cant wait to ovulate and start my period and get a new US to see what is going on in there. I am likely to have cysts-o-plenty from all the unspent follicles. I am not looking forward to that either. I will likely have to take another month of birth control to make sure that I cycle but also to suppress the cysts.

I am a little disappointed but in another way I have a bit of optimism because now I have been cancelled for too little of a response..and too much of a response... we have a plan to take the middle ground this next round... whenever that might be. Now they know that I am a late responder to the Menopur... they dont have to increase the dose.... we just all need to be patient, I will get there. OY.

I am such a hippy nature girl... I barely like to take tylenol. This is such the opposite of that. I am having to rely on all kinds of drugs and chemicals to make my body do what I need it to do in order to create my family. I guess we will always do what we need to do to get there...but it doesnt change the fact that my body is screaming and clawing for a gentler way.

I guess I just needed to vent. My poor partner is watching this all happen and I am just trying to stay even keel so that she doesnt worry about me.

So,... we will get started again in 4-6 weeks,,...depending on when my period decides to show up this month.

I dont mean to rush my life by me...but can we just fast forward to the good part already? You know, the part where I am pregnant full of growing baby?

Praying for you to get the results you need. I can't imagine the medical roller coaster you are going through, but I hope it comes to a stop SOON with a healthy happy baby in your arms!! Make sure you take time out for just the two of you to focus on other things in your life. Take care!!
Tracey