Decisions (rather long)

So, went to a new doctor today basically for a 2nd opinion on how things are going because I've been very dissatisfied with my doctor the last few visits.

Everything is great thank goodness!  Baby is around 60th percentile for growth.  My BP has been on the border so they sent me home with a 24 hour monitor.

Talked a little about birth plans...  My son was a cesarian birth because of his projected size coupled with the fact I'd had a grad 3 tear with my daughter who was only 6 pounds.  The doc today says because I've had a section and had the 3rd degree tear his recommendation is to have a repeat section, but there is no true contraindication to trial of labor. 

Sooooo  now I don't know what to do! I really wanted to try for a VBAC knowing how much beter emotionally I felt after my daughter's birth (she was spontaneous).  On the other hand, the 3rd degree tear was awful (granted we can control somewhat for it or even do an episiotomy).  Just don't know what to do.

The plus sides of a section are of course, it will certainly be a lot easier to plan everything considering I have no family and 2 kids here to make plans for (school, kindergarden, etc.).  Another plus, is they probably won't have me wait the whole 40 weeks , and an earlier end to my aches and pains wouldn't be too awful.  But, those aren't good reasons to me to have a section.

Any thoughts from anyone out there???  It would be soooo much easier if I had family here.  We have good friends we can leave the kids with of course but it just isn't the same....

Thanks for any thoughts.

every birth is different...; i think deep down in your heart you know what you want to do.... how long will you be in the hosp for a vag birth and how long for a c-section? .. i think you should just wait and see... did you go early or late with your others?... not that that really matters... but maybe you can schedule the csections so its there if you still want it... and if you go into labor on your own thats even better and see how it goes?... yeah im sorry im not help.. i hope you find the answers your looking for.... but i would just "wait and see"..

What I really want is to have a normal delivery and someone to put this baby directly into my arms!  My previous section was at 38 weeks because they didn't want to chance labor because of his 'predicted size' (which was predicted to be over 10 pounds at full term, he was 9lb, 4 oz at 38 weeks).  My natural birth was at 40 weeks and 2 days I think, so right on time...

Thanks for the thoughts Lex, I still have time to think it over and more time to talk with the docs...

Well I am in the same boat pretty much so what my doc and I decided was to schedule a c section for June 4th which is only 2 days before due date and if for some reason I go into labor before then I figure my body would have made its own choice. I was in labor almost 24 hours with my sos and don't want to do that again and result in c section anyways.

THis is not a bad idea...  I was 25 hour of labor with my daughter but she did finally come naturally.  It was complicated with a full blown gallbladder attack and pancreatitis at the time of delivery, and just too a really long time for me to dialate, but I did, without intervention. 

I'm with you on the not wanting to go through a long terrible labor just to end up with a section anyway

When I had to choose between a VBAC or repeat C section, I was told to think about this. Will you be happy and content about trying vaginally even if you end up getting another C section or will you be upset if you go through labor and even pushing and end up getting a C section? They said if you feel as if you need to try vaginally to be content even if it doesn't work, then try for a VBAC. My situation was that I would have been really upset to go through hours of labor and pushing to just end up with another C section, so I chose to have a repeat C section. But that is something you have to decide for yourself. Good luck in whatever decision you make!

See, I'm kind of the opposite.  Last time, I think I had such regret and depression after because I didn't try.  Doc said that because he was predicted to be so big and I'd had the 3rd degree tear with such a little one (my daughter was only 6 pounds at term) ...  she felt the risk of a repeat 3rd degree or even 4th degree tear was too high.

In hindsight, I'm not sure I believe her.  I frankly went along with it more because our dtr was born with cord wrapped twice, blue, not breathing and an Apgar of 2.  it scared me to think about reliving that....  She was perfect after a little suctioning and a couple of breaths though.

I'm so torn!  Good thing I've got time to consider things and get opinions!!

Thanks for your input Tami!!!  : )

Well i know where you are coming from.  I have no family here as well.  My husbands family is not much help so its basicly just us.  My first was a vag delivery and had a monsterous episiomoty and tear......my daughter literally riped me a new butt hole....lol...had sutures about 60% around my rectum.....but really was not that bad compaired to the recovery of the c-section all alone.  I am really hoping to have a vbac with this one because tending to a newborn and a older sibling was a lot of work for one person as my husband went back to work less than a week after the delivery.  My son was jaundice and had to find a "friend" to assist with freq trips to hospital for blood draws and doctor visits.  I just wanted to sit down and cry because my activity was so limited and i am such and independent person.  I too have considered the convience of a section, but then i am reminded of the longer recovery and increased need for assistance.  Of course you do whats best for you and your family.  I am simply just giving you my experiance.  I am sure it will all work out in the end.

Good Luck

Tiff

You know where I'm coming from exactly.  The pain and such wasn't really a factor, it was a week or so after when I couldn't lift the carrier or my daughter, or hardly care for myself!  That, I think, is why it's so hard for me not to just say, ok... repeat the section.

Other factor is the hospital stay here for a section is 7 to 9 days!!!!  As long as everything is uncomplicated, I can maybe pu**** up to 6 .  Natura birth typically is 3-6, but if all is ok with mom and baby you can get released and have a midwife follow up at your house!  It would be so much easier on my kids that way.

My husband and I were away for 2 nights this past weekend and their aunt and uncle came to stay (whom they adore).  When we came home, my daughter told me how hard she cried because she missed me so much.  Broke my heart.  I don't want to be in the hospital so long!!!  Granted their dad will be here, but it just isn't the same for them...  : (    I don't want them to resent the baby because mom was away for so long!

 why do they keep you in the hospital for so long? that just sounds crazy. my first was just shy of 6 pounds and it was a very easy delivery..the nurse actually delivered her because she was just coming by herself. my son was 35 hours of labor including 2 hours of pushing and he just wouldnt come out so i ended up with a c-section. at the time my husband was deployed so it was just me a 7 year old and a new born and thankfully my recovery was a breeze. we lived on the 3rd floor with ne elevator and life had to go on. i drove, carried stuff and did everything that i had to do in maintaining a home. i am sure that my mind and body just knew that i didnt have ano other option...life had to go on. my son was 8 pounds 1 ounce so he was larger. both were induced due to pre eclampsia. my daughter was at 36 weeks and my son was at 38 weeks. with my son i also had diet controlled gestational diabetes which i am sure contributed to him being bigger, but 8 pounds really isnt that huge. the baby that i had still born last year would had been a repeat csection and i was ok with that. i liked knowing ahead of time so i could plan for my other 2 kids and be prepared completely. i am sure if i had a different experience with my recovery i would have thought differently but for me the recovery was as easy as my vaginal delivery. good luck...just do what ever feels right for you and your family.