I have How many months left and.....

The delivery room wars have already begun.  My personal feeling is that giving birth is a rather PERSONAL thing.  I don't want an audience in the room looking at my woohoo and the gross, most beautiful thing, that is happening.  A friend of both mine and my mother's told me today, that my mother is planning on coming a few days before delivery so that she does not miss it.  Well for one, so far this not a scheduled delivery so I don't know when it is going to happen.  Secondly, I don't want anyone in the room with me other than DH, the nurses, and of course my Dr at the time of delivery.  My mom is planning on being in there and with her catchers mitt on (a pun).  I don't want this, her and my DH don't exactly see eye to eye as it is.  This is already stressing me out and I don't know what to do, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but again I only want DH as the only other person in the room.  What do I do?  Pray that I go into a quick labour  & delivery unexpectedly?  Any suggestions on how to deal with my mom and her um lets say demands?  If it was up to her she would have my Dad, her friend, and her other friend who is a photographer all there to document everything, probably she would have her other friend there video taping as well so she could email my woohoo to distant far off living relatives to watch.  ugh, I am not exagerating one bit.  The war has started....PLEASE HELP.  DH & I are already arguing about this matter and I want it to end now.  My parents live only about an hour and a half away and I don't want to call them as soon as I go into labour....9cm dilated may even be too soon to call.  Sorry for my rambling!!! :(

Oh and on a hopefully good note, I go for my NT scan tomorrow, so excited and nervous all at the same time, will update as soon as I can.

I am in the same boat with people wanting to come in - and I was NOT going to state who I wanted in, I threw the threat to my family out on facebook the first one to the hospital could come in with DH and I - of course we live 6 hours away, so it will truly be an "Amazing Race" and entertainment for those of us involved...

On that note, I would simply let your parents know your doctor feels it is best for you to have only yourself and DH in the delivery room until after the baby is checked out - this is NOT unreasonable and not unheard of in hospitals today...

Than god for a c section no one but hubby myself and I and all the dr and nurses.Hubby can do video camera and pictures.
I think even if I was to deliver normal I would keep everyone out but maybe his mom and mine and thats it.

Sorry to hear your going through this hope things get better and you guys can get it figured out.

I also was of the opinion that the only person I wanted was my husband and my doctors or nurses in the delivery room. My Mother wanted otherwise. Me and her have a volatile, love/hate relationship, not to mention she is a bonafide hypochondriac so the fear of me being in the throws of labor as she had some weird medical condition take over here was too much for me to bear.I went into labor at about 730am and we went to the hospital and the only person I called was my sis in law, brother's wife, who lived behind us. She was pretty much going to watch over the house and take care of anything me or hubby needed. During labor my brother in law and his wife at the time did come sit with me in the room, and I was okay with that, and if I could have trusted my Mom to respect that and when I asked her to leave or go to waiting room, that she would have, then I would have called. Nonetheless, I had my son just after midnight, so by the time I was cleaned up, he was settled, I had eaten and was settled, it was very late so I did not call until 8am, and told her to come to hospital to meet her grandson. I got the cold shoulder and then she did not show up for hours later....but to me my sanity and peace at delivery was worth it and she got over it. If I had a different relationship with my Mom I may have wanted her in there, because as good as my husband was there were times I just wanted something else...or someone else...
I say you do what makes you feel comfortable and what you want. I also made it known to the doctor that I did not want anyone but my husband in the room so that at end of day she could be the bad guy and inform them they had to leave...hospital policy...or something like that, and no one would have been none the wiser.

You just have to be honest with everyone about how you feel and what your wishes are. And when you get to the hospital, TELL THE STAFF. They will help run interference and keep people out if you don't want them in there. This is YOUR body, and YOUR wants matter more than anyone else's on that day.

My mother was in the room when my sister delivered her baby, but I have already told her I don't want her in the room with me when I give birth. My husband is the only non-medical person I want in the room with me. This is OUR time and not anyone else's.

Okay seriously... you are the one pregnant... it is your decision... so tell your mom that you only want your husband in room.

Also, discuss this with your doctor because he can easily block anyone from being in the room, other than your wishes...

I know my doctor allowed my mom and husband in the csec room...

Sara

UGH! I feel for you!!! I had a hospital birth with my first, had my parents and hubby's mom there. NO ONE HELPED anything go better at all!(well my dad rubbed my back and he had nice warm hands..so he helped)In fact they stressed us out more, so much that my husband couldn't even be "in the moment" with me. I had home births with the next two and that made all the difference in the world. I dealt with labor much much better at home with only my hubby and my midwives. It was like a chilled evening with a baby at the end.

My thoughts are this...those who were at the party to make the baby should be the only ones at the birth of said baby!!! If you get INVITED ok bonus. Birth is an intimate part of a marriage and should not be tread all over. Just because family is excited doesn't mean you have to cater to their desires. What are you going to do when someone else tries to "raise" the baby for you too?...Set up your paramaters and let people know. You are the birthing mama and YOUR desires are the most important. Trust your gut, your instincts on this. Your birth experience will be soooo much better that way.

I would also suggest to just not call them until it's over or sooooo close to being over they wont make it. To me, it's like calling my mom to tell her I HAD AN ******not her business.

Good luck...and let me know if you want me to talk to your mom...LOL

I don't agree at all with everyone who says don't call until after the baby is born! This is your mother and you don't want her to be angry with you. It's no way to start out the wonderful time of having your newborn. It would be my recommendation that you tell her that you and hubby have made the decision that it will be just the 2 of you in there, that you love her very much and you really want her to be involved in her grandbaby's life. She can come visit right after he/she is born. Then think of some task you can give her. Tell her you need her to do the phone chain to tell everyone or something so she feels involved. Then make it clear to the hospital staff that the only one allowed in the room is your hubby. They are excellent at keeping people out. If your mom stresses you out then she should NOT be in the room with you! My mom has a total calming affect on me so I wanted her there. But my MIL wanted to be there too and I said no. She stresses me out too much. It can be a stressful situation to begin with, why make it worse?

I hope you can figure this out. It's stuff like this that can keep us from enjoying our pregnancies and make them way too stressful for us. Hopefully your mom will understand! It's not like you're saying she can't come, but someone else can. She should understand that you just want to share it between the 2 of you.

Tina

I also say that if you don't want your mom there, then she can't just buffalo her way in.  Heck, under today's medical privacy rules, I bet you could even ban your husband, if you wanted to!  The nurses/drs will enforce your decision - let them know ahead of time what you want, and stick to it (ie don't be wishy-washy when the time comes).

Tell your mom your decision and that it's non-negotiable - and make sure she knows it's not her personally, that it's something you want to experience with just you, your husband and the drs/nurses there.  I do like one of the previous posters idea of giving her a special task like running the phone tree and getting the word out.  It gets her involved without having her all up in your woohoo, LOL.  I also agree with one of the other previous posters...set the ground rules now that this is your child and you call the shots...otherwise she's going to be challenging everything you do while raising this baby.  If you are at all close to your mom, I wouldn't just wait and tell her the next day...but if you have 'mom issues,' I wouldn't have any compunction in doing so, and honestly, that's exactly what I would do....if I even bothered to tell her I had been pregnant in the first place.

Good luck on the NT scan.  I can't believe you're already 12 weeks!  First trimester down!  Woot! 

This is your delivery and you decide who is there. Talk to the nurses at the hospital and they will handle it. When i had my oldest daughter the nurses were wonderful making sure only the people i wanted there were there. No one got offended because the nurses told everybody else that the hospital had a policy on the amount of people allow in. It is your day and you dont have to worry about anything but delivering a healthy baby. The nurses told me they deal with this situation daily and they knew how to handle it.

Norma