I could use some words of encouragment...**long**

As some of you may know, I have a son who will be two in January. He was a complete miracle as I was told before WLS I would not have kids without fertility intervention (due to bad PCOS) AND he was conceived without trying while on the Depo shot! I had complications with him, but I took them as they came. I went off work at 33 weeks for preterm labor, but he waited to come until two days after my due date. He has been perfect! I knew perfectly well when we tried for this baby that it was likely we might have the same complications (frequent bleeds, preterm labor), but I also knew how worth it all was in the end. Now fast forward to the present and I am in my 27th week with a baby girl. I have been to L&D three times this week. Sunday and Tuesday I was triaged for contractions but sent home as I was having no cervical change and they were relatively minor contractions. Yesterday I was in the bathroom and started to bleed so badly it was running down my legs. The dr's say that a varicose vein blew inside of me and the bleeding has since stopped. They have now officially taken me off work and put me on bed rest. I am having EXTREME guilt. With my son, I took it as it came because it was never a situation I "chose". Now, my "choice" to have this baby has put stress on me and my husband. It has caused me to be a much less active mom. I now cannot work in the ICU. That all being said, my biggest guilt  is the fact that I am even feeling sorry for myself when I have this precious angel coming to me in just a few short months. Anyone have any words of encouragement or advice for how to deal with bedrest and not feel like you are letting everyone down? Sorry for the rambling and thanks in advance.

I'm sorry you're stuck on bedrest again.  Having never been in your situation, I can only say that I hope the next few months go by quickly for you.  I can only imagine how difficult it is, especially with an almost two year old who doesn't 'get it' that mommy can't do whatever he needs you to do.  If you're at home alone with him in the day time, the only real suggestion I can make - again, it's only suggestions, since I've never been in your situation is to try to have meals made ahead of time for him during the day so when you're up to get meals, you only have to warm them and feed him, rather than being on your feet cooking and cleaning, etc.  Maybe even consider having small meals made ahead and frozen in portion sizes for him (and you) so you only need to microwave them.  Have toys, books, etc around you for you to entertain him...if DH can do the laundry and bring it to you, you can fold it while half laying/sitting in bed or on the couch. 

Most of all though...don't feel guilty or bad that you're not doing everything you feel needs done.  Your son will never remember this time, he's not missing out on anything as long as he's fed and taken care of and loved...and the reason you're unable to chase around and play games is a very important one...not just b/c you're lazy and don't want to take care of him.  If you have family and friends around who can help out, I'm pretty sure they're not going to feel let down that you need help...I'm sure they'd feel hurt if you didn't let them help.  Though I don't know you personally, I'd hazard a guess you're not Super Woman.  Let them help...and you can return the favor down the road when one of your friends/family members needs help. 

[[hugs and prayers]]  Hang in there...this isn't going to last forever...and it's for the best of reasons.

Thanks Holly. Your kind words mean a lot to me  I do have a good supportive family and an amazing husband who is 100% understanding of the situation. Thanks again!

exactly what holly said... bring him in bed with you.. read.. color.. he can play in bed with you.. watch movies with him... im sorry your dealing with this.. i hope these last few weeks go as quick as possible.

Thanks!

So sorry you're having a hard time.  I don't really have any suggestions other than what the others posted.  Your son isn't going to be permanently damaged from this, he's going to be ok and so are you hopefully baby too.  It's great news that there have been no cervical changes!

Don't beat yourself up either... find the positive in the situation.  You're giving yourself and your family a precious gift!!!!  It will all be worth it in the end!

Thanks Linda

 HI,

Sorry to hear that you are having a rough pregnancy. While you decided to get pregnant, every child is a miracle, and all that is happening to you is a blessing in disguise.

Think of it this way,  Even if you are on bedrest,  you will still be at home with your son. You will play with him, feed him nurture him, read to him etc. Even if that is in your bed or while you are resting on the sofa, or the floor.  For the next weeks your son isn't in daycare, he gets to be home with his mommy,  the bonding time you and he will have, will have a huge benefit to him in the future.  He will get alot of one on one time and learn so much in this time. When daddy gets home at night your son will have had lots of bonding with mommy time and instead of dividing a few short hours in the evening between 2 parents, his evenings can be all about bonding with Daddy,  again huge benefit.

More then that you are enriching his life because you are giving him a sister.  My sister is my best friend, I couldn't have imagined life without her and her help. They will be a few years apart but they will still have a great time together through their lives.  I believe big families are good,  and when you are gone he will still have a sister, someone who has been with him for a long time.

I think for your son this is a win-win situation.  Not only is he getting some awesome at home time with mom, he is getting a sister out of the deal.

So please, relax and enjoy this time at home it is a blessing in disguise, rest when you need to and work on building a strong healthy baby.

HUGS

CNC

Thanks :) I am definitely enjoying my extra family time. I am doing better than I was originally. We are adjusting financially and otherwise. Thanks again!