Working vs Staying Home?????

I've done both. Actually, with my first child, I was a single parent so staying home was not an option at all. I refused to ride the welfare train, and I worked to support us. He was with a private sitter, and I worked a standard 40hour work week. We didn't have a lot of luxuries, but we had enough. As the years, progressed, he started school, it was easier. 

Due to my complications with my revision surgery, my husband and I decided that I would stay home. 1) The economy sucks here(I'm a dual licensed insurance agent) 2) We decided that I should focus on my recovery.

I stayed home for a solid year and threw myself into my family. Problem being, I neglected my wants and needs significantly. I was semi-active in a social group of fellow Air Force wives, but my little life was pretty mundane. There was only so much laundry and cleaning I could do. So, I started volunteering with various organizations. I also started as an independent jewelry advisor with lia sophia jewelry company, just working part-time and the extra money supported my shopping habit LOL. Best decisions I ever made was to do something for me. I've been a stay at home mom/wife for 2 years now, and really love it.

I have an active social life, volunteer weekly, and contribute to other Air Force wife groups in form of support and guidance. I love, adore, cherish my family, BUT before I was a mom and wife, I was Tiffany, and I have to take care of Tiffany so I can be the very best mom and wife. For me, it was either go back to work full time, or keep myself busy and give my life purpose and meaning outside of being a housewife/mom.

I'm a stay at home mom and wouldn't want it any other way.  I stay busy and rarely get bored.  I don't miss work at all!  I think the decision to stay home would be harder if I was capable of making a lot of money.  But with expecting my 4th child, I don't see how working would pay off after paying daycare full-time for 2 kids and part-time for the older 2, plus the cost of gas, clothes and lunches!  I get together with one of my good friends and her kids once a week which helps with adult interaction.  With my 1st born son, I returned to work after a 12 week maternity leave.  When I became pregnant with my daughter, I knew I wanted to stay at home.  It turned out that I needed to quit my job 2.5 months before she was born because my daycare provider up and quite on me during Christmas break.  When my kids were 3 and 5 I knew my marriage wasn't going to work and began to look for a job.  During the time I was home with my older 2, I found I got bored and lonely often and was much harder than this time around.  I think it had more to do that I wasn't happy in my marriage and our finances were way worse than they are with my current husband (don't get me wrong...money gets tight and we can't afford lavish things...but we make due on what we have and are not finding ourselves more in debt like I did with my 1st marriage).  It wasn't easy to go back to work and put my kids in daycare, but it did get easier and had it's benefits!  I worked until my kids were 5 and 7, before we took a vacation to Czech Republic and decided to stay there until my husband had his VISA to the US (which took a year).  I homeschooled my kids during that time and it was the HARDEST thing I ever did!  I would NOT do that again as my daughter has a learning disability (that I wasn't fully aware of at the time) and I was crying every single day because it was so hard (not to mention that my son took FOREVER to get his individual homework done....LOL).  When we all returned to the United States, my husband and I began to look for work (we actually started looking and applying for work online before we came back).  After applying for job after job and not having many interviews and NO job offers, my husband finally found a job after being here almost 2 months.  I wasn't as lucky!  It didn't take long after my husband found a job that we decided we wanted to have a child together.  I continued to try to find employment even after I got pregnant.....but had no luck at which time we decided it would be best that I be a stay at home mom.  I LOVE that I don't have to go to work and answer to someone!  I LOVE that I can stay in bed till 8am (sometimes longer if my son is still sleeping).  I LOVE that I can run my errands, do laundry, fix dinner, etc. during the day instead of having to do those things once I got home for work!  Who knows, I might change my mind once this 2nd young'en is born and I have 2 little ones again at home, but I hardly doubt it!  I'm so much more at peace with myself and my life.  I'm happily married and thankful that I can be the one to raise all my children!  I feel blessed where my life has come to where it's been and I wouldn't change a thing!  I definately feel that money don't buy you happiness!  You can make adjustments and scale back on things if you truely want to stay at home!  The more money you have, the harder you can fall if you loose your job or that income!  Good luck on whatever you decide!

I'm a big believer in the power of prayer and I think you are too after reading a lot of your posts, so if the desire of your heart is to stay at home with your baby, I think you should go to God with that desire and pray about that decision...God knows the desires of our hearts and he wants to give us the desires of our hearts :)  I have been a stay at home mom since my daughter was two years old and it's something I struggled with at first because I wasn't sure if we could financially afford it, but it was something I prayed fervently about and God knew my heart's desire and even though we have had some tough times financially since I've been home, he has ALWAYS given us just enough and he has ALWAYS made a way for me to continue to stay home...my girls are 11 and 9 and my son is 3 months old and I wouldn't want it any other way.  The little milestones that happen in their lives only happen once and I'm so thankful I am able to stay home and never miss a moment of their precious lives...pray about it girlie and God will make a way :-)

..............how I wish this had a "like" button!!

Aww, you're sweet :-) 

I stay at home with my daughter. I will probably stay at home with my son and daughter until Caleb is at least 6-7 months old. 

Is it worth it? Totally. I have to figure out creative ways to save money and pay the bills, we dont have a MASSIVE savings but, we make it. Our daughter doesnt hurt for anything and neither do we. Now, we dont get to go out every weekend or what not, but...now that we have a child its more fun to just stay home, or go out to the park and play with her anyway.

I do get bored from time to time, but honestly....I have too much to do to stay bored long. If Im not teaching or playing with Claudia, I am cleaning up after her....doing laundry or some other form of housework.  AND if its not that, I am in college full time. Sooooo....there is ALWAYS something to do.

It's such a tough decision.  You have to do what feels right for you and your family.  Ruby was born with severe acid reflux and I didn't feel comfortable letting anyone but her father or I take care of her.  I was fortunate that my boss was very acommodating and let me work in the office on Modays and Tuesdays when my husband was home with the baby and I worked from home the rest of the time.  By the time she was 3 months old, I realized I just couldn't do it.  I wasn't getting anything done while "working from home" because the baby was so much work. 

It was an agonizing decision but we decided I needed to spend more time at the office.  We both have to work because that's the life we've built over the years.  If we were just starting out and were living more simply when we started our family, we might have been able to do it differently, however, I was 35 and my husband 39 when Ruby was born and we already had the big mortgage payment and all the other bills that you rack up when you have two good incomes. 

Fortunately, we both work full time but in four days a week.  My husband works the second half of the week and I work the first half.  So Monday and Tuesday Ruby is home with Daddy, Wednesday and Thursday she goes to daycare, Friday and Saturday she's home with me and Sunday we're all together.  It's a great balance for us. 

I won't lie...leaving her at daycare the first time was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  I think I managed to leave her there for 3 hours before I was rushing back to get her.  It does get easier, though.  If I could have stayed home with her for the first year, I think that would have been ideal because I don't think there's a benefit to daycare for infants other than building up their immune system because they catch EVERY bug that goes around.  Now that she's almost 17 months old, she's thriving in daycare.  She loves interacting with other kids and adults and she learns something new every day.  I feel less guilty about it because it's only two days a week. 

Besides the need for me to work, I also realized in the first 3 months when I was home with her that I was very depressed and overwhelmed with it all.  Going to work those 2 days a week was something I really looked forward to.  I missed her terribly but craved adult interaction and feeling productive and needed for more than just a meal. :) 

Good luck with whatever you decide but don't be surprised if you change your mind in either direction once your little boy is here.  There's simply no way to be prepared for the changes you're about to encounter!

This really is a decision you and hubby have to make.I decided that I wouldn't 100% make up my mind until I was on maternity leave. I really wanted to stay at home with my baby.

My son has had a rough life. He had severe colic for 4 months (screamed 18 hours a day), horrible reflux, threw up copius amounts ****il he had surgery at 4 1/2 months to fix an almost closed pyloric valvue), etc. He was and still is a handfull.

He goes to daycare right here on the campus where I work so I can walk over whenever I want. I have been off a lot to take Aiden to specialists (he has a ENT, pulmonologist, allergist, gastroenterologist, etc). Even with great insurance the doctor, specialisits, urgent care, and medication co-pays are a killer. It has helped that I work to offset the HUGE additional medical costs.

I love my son more than words. But, he needed, and mommy and daddy needed, daycare. Plus, since I knew everything about the daycare at work and the people who work there, I was ok with him going to daycare. He is doing so much better. I know if I have another child, I will stay at home. So, for now we are all good.

There are days I am exhausted. My son never has been, and is still not, a good sleeper. So, I get as much sleep as I can and have learned to somewhat adjust that I will never sleep 7 hours again!

So, just do what you feel is right and best for you. Like a previous poster stated, SAHM's feel strongly and defend their position and say it is wrong to work and then vice versa about working moms defending agains SAHM. Everyone's personal decision and situations are so different!

Traci

I have been at home for the last 9 years, I love it and I honestly don't ever want to return to work. I am going to continue to stay home until the little guy goes to 1st grade and then we will see after that. I have a super full life between the kids, volunteering, mom's groups, and helping to care for my three living elderly grandparents.

There is nothing in the world I would rather do, I feel like I was born to do this job and it fulfills me more then any job in an office ever did.