Working vs Staying Home?????

boomsheeka01
on 9/21/11 3:04 am - Killeen, TX

So I know in my heart what I WANT to do...and thats STAY AT HOME with my baby boy!!!  But unfortunately that may not be a possibilty for us right now....  Eventually I will be staying home with my love though. I am just wondering for those who do stay at home is it worth it? Do you get bored sometimes? And for those who work, does it get easier going back to work after your baby comes?

Just curious! Thanks ladies!  :)

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Sara S.
on 9/21/11 3:18 am
I was the same way, I wanted to stay home and had several break downs, however we couldn't do it money wise.

Honestly, I'm glad I work, because being home with my baby for a week straight I realized... I missed adult interaction.

Also, I wanted to do all the classes with my baby... but that costs money, and if I wasnt working, it wasnt going to happen.

Good luck! 

ps. It does get easier coming to work daily. Its a routine.
  Sara

Mom to Haleigh born 04/14/10 and Dylan 05/15/12
Brooklynnsmom
on 9/21/11 3:28 am, edited 9/21/11 3:29 am - Bellevue, NE
I am the same way as PP. I know I also can't stay home money wise, but in the same regard--I also know I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom full-time!!! I think if I had a choice financially, I would work part-time something like 4 hours a day to get me out of the house to interact with adults but also more time at home with my babies. The best of both worlds! When I was at home on my 6 weeks of maternity leave with my now 4 and 2 year olds, by the 4-5 week marks--I was ready to go back to work! There is only so much of 24/7 of baby and no other adults I could take! I love my babies to death, but I need other adult interaction! I used to "find" errands to run during the day just to get myself out of the house! LOL! When I went back to work, the first week was the hardest, but after that you do get a routine. It works. If you really in your heart want to stay home, you will make it work. Do what your heart/desire wants. I just know I wasn't stay at home mom material. My kids/myself would have suffered more!!!!

Debbie
twert80
on 9/21/11 3:30 am
When i had my first staying home sounded great, but was not an option.  It did get easier after you get back into the routine of things.  Now i couldn't imagine being a stay at home mom.....hats off to you guys....as this is my only time for myself.  Sad i know but outside of work my life revolves around my kiddos.....soccer, scouts, baseball, football, school activities, the park.....the list never ends.  IDK but work is my time to unwind and socialize with adults.  Don't get me wrong there are crazy days at work that i wish i was at home, but then again there are crazy days at home i wished i was at work.......lol.   Fortunately for me i have a job that allows me to work around my kids lives.  If i didn't i am sure my feelings would prob. not be the same.  You do what makes you happy cause we are all different and have different needs to keep our sanity.  It doesn't  mean that you love you kiddo more or less.   I could not imagine a day without the craziness of my kiddos...they make my world go round, and round, and round..... I LOVE IT!!!!  That's why i want to add more into the mix. 

Tiff
(deactivated member)
on 9/21/11 4:03 am - HI
I think it's good to have some balance in your life.  I am very fortunate that my parents look after my son while I work so that makes it a little easier.  I know they will take good care of him and they get to experience all the "firsts" which in turn makes me happy.  It's a tuff call, but I wouldn't be able to get my son all the nice things he has and will want without the income.  I just make it a point to spend real quality time with him when I am not working.
plusizedbarbie
on 9/21/11 4:52 am - Manahawkin, NJ
I stay home although we JUST get by.  I was nannying for about 5 months for a little something to do but then we moved.  I graduated from college pregnant with Sage and never got a real job because I had he a few months later.  I am thinking about applying to a daycare around my new house part time and bringing Sage with me but IDK what I will do when the new one is here.  I plan on staying home with him/her for about a year then hopefully getting something full time, and having my husband be the primary care giver. 

And yes I do get extremely bored at times, but my mom stayed home with us and I think it made us more well rounded kids.  we were always involved in different activities and community things my mom would not have been able to do with us if she worked.  but my dad made 6 figures, so that helped.  it's a balance, why cant the US be like canada and we would have a year long maternity break??
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Becca R.
on 9/21/11 6:00 am - WA
I am a stay at home mom. for me and DH it was really important for us to have one parent be the sole care provider. Money is tight but we always get by with the grace of God. I understand that sometimes people cant survive off of a single income and that working mommies are just as loving and caring as stay at home mommies. I was just NEVER comfortable with having someone else share my resposibility while I was gone for most of the day. There are days when I loove it and there are days when I am ready to pull my hair out! But I absolutly adore my kids and dont regret my choice to stay at home. the best advice I can give is to find mommy and baby groups such as "MOPS" so that you can get out of the house and have some much needed adult time.
Celia S.
on 9/21/11 7:25 am - Grand Junction, CO
I was already planning to work after taking my 6 week maternity leave, but after only 4 weeks I realized I was going stark raving mad with cabin fever that I couldn't stay home another day! LOL

I love love LOVED being home all the time with my baby girl, and it was hard to leave her in someone else's care at first, but it did get much easier after a while. :)

Best of luck to you with everything! :)

Paula622
on 9/21/11 7:52 am
I must start by saying that you can poll every mom in the world and you'll get a different answer from each... it is a VERY personal decision and many moms feel like they need to "defend" their role regardless of what side of the fence they fall on.  There is no single answer that is right for everyone but you'll discover that there is one that is right for you.  I've done both and I know that for our family, having me home is the best answer.  When our daughter was born I was teaching and I felt that I "owed" it to my students and their parents to finish out the school year.  I took my maternity leave and then went back from about April to June.  The first day was excruciating (the secretary was waiting for me with a box of tissues after my first drop off at the sitters) but each day got easier.  However, I was never really happy.  I felt like I spent all of my time at home just getting ready for the next day at work... ironing my clothes, packing the diaper bag for the sitter, pumping and freezing my milk, making lunches etc... I never really felt like I could just enjoy my family.  Now that I'm home I am much happier and we all know that a happy mommy is crucial for a happy family.  I'm definitely a bit of a throw back to June Cleaver as I truly enjoy having dinner ready when my husband comes home from work, having time (and better yet, the energy) to make his lunch for work and if given the opportunity, I'd do it all in my pearls and an apron, lol.  Being home also allows me to have the time to do the "necessary evils" of being a grownup like grocery shopping and laundry without feeling like it is dominating my weekends or "time off" from work.  However, all that being said, there are definitely times when I miss my pencil skirts and high heels from my teaching days, adult conversation, and the ability to pee without an audience.  I guess it just comes down to the fact that I don't miss that stuff nearly enough to want to work again!  Financially it is definitely a struggle, but we find ways to save money.  With working full time and paying for day care my take home would have ended up being pretty minimal.  We've mananged to close the gap with lots of little changes.  Luckily, our lives were not very extravagant before so the changes have been easy to adjust to.  We were never ones to go on big vacations or out to lavish dinners, so unfortunately big cuts like that were not an option for us.  Some examples of how we've saved money include shopping at discount stores like Aldi and BJ's.  Now that I have more time, going to four different stores to get the best prices is not a pain like it would have been when I had less time to shop after work.  We got our car insurance reduced because I don't drive much (most policies have a reduced rate if you drive less than 10,000 miles per year).  I use generic diapers (we even did cloth for a while), and I breastfed as long as possible.  It is amazing the places you can find to cut your budget if staying home is really important to you!  Take some time to search your soul and figure out what is really the best answer for you and your family, have some frank honest discussions with your husband about what you need emotionally, mentally, and financially to be a happy family.  Finally, just realize that whatever you decide, you can always try it for a while and change your mind later if you find that you miss work, or that your paycheck just isn't worth not being home with your baby... there is no shame in admitting you've made the wrong decision.  Sorry if this seems like I've written a novel, it is a really important personal decision to make.  I have several friends who have let their husband "decide" for them and it has really taken its toll on their marriage as well as their mental and emotional well being!  Good luck with whatever you decide!

~ Paula
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Lexa321
on 9/21/11 8:19 am - weston, FL
when i had my son i was all about staying home... but i was a single mom and and knew that was out of the question... so i did the next best thing i knew- found an in home daycare... she was great... but i still felt that he could do better with me at home.. so i switched the midnights and dropped him off with my mom while i was at work .. WORST IDEA EVER!!! he was now 6 months and didnt sleep all day anymore.. and he craved that mommy attention...so i went back to afternoon shift... much better!..until i got pregnant with jaylyn... i had another dumb idea of going back to midnights when she was born... again 2nd worst idea ever... by that 3 week mark at home on maternity leave iwas going insane... i hated not speaking to other adults... i hated being home and broke.. being broke and home sucked.. my kids could feel i was getting anxious and no one was happy... so at the 7 week mark i ran as fast as i could to day shift.... finally settled down with day shift and we are living happpy as pigs in a mud field... i enjoy our time together so much more now... im not frustrated ... i dont walk around in a half dead haze..and most important- we are not broke and can afford the wants AND needs.. ask your self a few questions- can you handle being super beyond broke? can you live and support your family WITHOUT government assistance? ( no wic.. no medicid.. no food stamps.. no cash assistance.. ) can you handle speaking to aother adult maybe once a day?
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