Mixed Feelings

As many of you guys know I delivered my sweet baby girl still born on August 12th. I was 17 weeks and 1 day.  It was unexpected and I never had any inclination that something was wrong. Anyway yesterday was the memorial service for her. I am having such mixed feelings. In some sense I feel peace but on the other hand I feel even sadder. I know that my baby has died but having her service makes it seem even realer if that makes any sense. It seems like I am contantly reminded of what was supposed to have been...simple things like my boobs STILL leaking and knowing that I wanted to breast feed feels like a slap in the face by other nature. I am so grateful for my children that I am blessed to have been given and I know everyday that I am the luckiest mama in the world but I dont know how to heal the hole in my heart for my baby that was taken from me.

I sure hope you can get some help soon. I dont think I ever leaked after that long though. I would have that checked out.

I went for my post partum check up last Monday and asked my OB about it and she said that it can take up to 8 weeks for the milk to dry up.

I'm so sorry for your loss!  What you are feeling is perfectly normal.  You will have to give yourself time to grieve.....it's only been a few weeks, so it is still so very fresh to you.  In time, you will feel better, but you will always miss that sweet baby.  Praying for you!

I have no idea what you are going through so I don't know how to help but to say be kind to yourself and know it is normal to be sad or even mad. It might help if you find a group for those who have lost children. Sharing with others might be what you need to help.

YOur feelings are very normal. i myself have not gone thru this pain but i have a dear friend that has and her little girl would have started kindergarden this year and that was very hard week for her when she put her oldest on the bus alone.  You will always miss that precious baby and will have times of sadness during mild stones that would have occured but is all normal.  I pray for you and your family during your hard time.  Lots of hugs.

Tiff