how do you heal, Just so overwhelmed

4 weeks ago yesterday I gave birth to my sweet angel reese abigail. I cant be around moms who are glowing and moms that are talking about ther babies. it breaks my heart because i want that with my daughter.why was she taken from me. I will never be able to snuggle with her and she will never turn her head when she hears my voice. I was robbed of being her mother and I want it back. I feel so overwhelmed with sadness and grief and I just dont know what to do. I want to lay in bed and sleep all the time. I have no desire or motivation to do anything  

do u mind me asking what happend?

I went to the ER on Wednesday August 10th because i was dehydrated from the flu. While I was there they were doing a routine heartbeat check only to not find one. I was 17 weeks 1 day. I was induced and she was born Friday August 12th 2011 at 7:21 a.m. She was 7.5 inches, weighed 3.8 ounces and was perfect in every way except that she was dead. They could tell immediately that she died because the cord was around her neck 3 times, it was so tight that her skin on her neck was white. Her name is Reese Abigail Janes

I am so sorry she was taken from you, and you are right it was not fair. I hope that God is able to heal your heart and help you through this time, talking about how you are feeling and getting it off your chest is a great start. Grieving is a process and may take time but remember you are not alone!!! 

I am so truly sorry for your loss....and there are no words in the world that can confort you at this time...but being the mom of a born angel myself i can tell you that time does heal...you will never forget but it does get a little easier and there will be a time that you will remember your angel with a smile ...a sad one but a smile never the less...once again am so sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you and your family..Tanya

I don't know the answer but have had many moments of wondering myself. I think time is really the only thing that has made a difference for me after my ectopic nightmare. 4 weeks is not very long at all! You were probably partially numb for the first few weeks anyway. You probably have to go through this really hard, emotionally devestating period in order to heal. Have you considered grief counseling? I have never gone, but have a friend that goes from time and time and she can't say enough good things about it. My friend goes to a group meeting. It really helped her heal from the death of a family member.

Also, I have a question... you certainly don't have to answer if you don't want to. I remember your post about wanting to give your baby up for adoption, and already having selected the adoptive family. Did you decide against going that route? I can imagine that if that was the case, it would add a whole other dimention to what you are going through.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope that you are able to find ways to gain some peace and healing.

-Nikki

I so wish I had a good answer for you, but the only one I know of is time....   and keep talking to people about what happened.  I'm of the opinion the more you talk about it the easier to accept it.  The anger you feel about being robbed of her is soooo totally normal and you deserve to be angry!  It isn't fair to have to go through the loss of a baby at any point in a pregnancy!

You're in my prayers.

Is there any kind of support group you could go to with other moms who've lost babies?? 

Blessings to you!
Linda