DH and MIL driving me crazy! Vent
I offered to my MIL to chance to decorate the baby's nursery since she lives 2 hours away and is afraid to drive to the big city by herself. She is recently divorced and lives in a small town. I asked all summer when she would be up to decorate and my husband would give me a date, but she would cancel because she was too depressed. Then I was hosptialized for my bowel obstruction and now on pain meds to eat. I have an awful reaction to pain meds; I am lightheaded, woozy and tend to zone out at weird times. Because of this, once I take my meds, I don't drive for the rest of the day. If I need to drive somewhere, I schedule it early in the morning so I can sleep in and then go to my appointment. This way I'm not dying of hunger for more than a couple of hours.
My husband said about 3 weeks ago that his mom might come up this weekend to do the nursery. He asked if I could follow him down to a small town about 30 minutes outside our city to pick his mom up. This is because she won't drive thru our city, but will drive to the the town next to it by herself. He wants to drive her car the rest of the way to our house and then I would drive my car. I asked if this is for real, I can try to find a friend to go with him since I may be medicated. He said to not look for one because she hadn't confirmed and he wanted to wait until she did.
Well, she confirmed TODAY! This is Labor Day Weekend...who am I supposed to find to drive with him now? He said I could drive, but when I asked what time we had to pick her up, he said 5pm. I said that too late because I would've already taken my pills. He asked me NOT TO EAT UNTIL WE PICK HER UP!!! How can I go 8-10hrs without eating just to be sober enough to drive? I said I know I can't wait that long to eat for a number of reasons: #1 being I've lost all my pre-pregnancy weight so I'm burning fat reserves at this point, #2 being I've actually managed to mantain my weight this week by eating meals filled with carbs like mac and cheese and potstickers and I don't want to start losing again and #3 being if I do go that long without eating, I"m going to be lightheaded from hypoglycemia and unable to drive.
He told me to just eat breakfast and then not eat anything else the rest of the day until we pick her up. I told him if I eat one meal, I'm going to crave other things to eat all day. My hunger is so bad at times, it wakes me up from a deep sleep. Since my pain meds are being closely watched, if I eat in the middle of the night, it only allows me 2 other times to eat during the day. When I said I just can't go that long, he told me to figure it out. I burst in to tears because I can't figure it out. How am I supposed to go the entire day and not eat just so his mom doesn't have to drive into the big, bad city? DH left for school without saying goodbye and I haven't heard from him since. He's at work currently and won't be home until 10:30pm.
I feel really bad that I can't make it that long, but I think it's too much to ask me at this point. I feel his mom had plenty of opportunity to come and get the nursery done and declined due to her issues. I feel I have the right to decline this due to my issues. We did not expect for me to have a bowel obstruction and for me to be in the condition I am when we offered this to her. And to top it all off, she is supposed to be attending my husband's white coat ceremony for school in 3 weeks. Her girlfriend is driving her up. When I suggested she cancel and come up early on that date and do the nursery I was told no. So now I'm stressed out and sad.
Ok, thanks for letting me vent. I'm going to lay down since I aggravated my obstruction today and it hurts.
My husband said about 3 weeks ago that his mom might come up this weekend to do the nursery. He asked if I could follow him down to a small town about 30 minutes outside our city to pick his mom up. This is because she won't drive thru our city, but will drive to the the town next to it by herself. He wants to drive her car the rest of the way to our house and then I would drive my car. I asked if this is for real, I can try to find a friend to go with him since I may be medicated. He said to not look for one because she hadn't confirmed and he wanted to wait until she did.
Well, she confirmed TODAY! This is Labor Day Weekend...who am I supposed to find to drive with him now? He said I could drive, but when I asked what time we had to pick her up, he said 5pm. I said that too late because I would've already taken my pills. He asked me NOT TO EAT UNTIL WE PICK HER UP!!! How can I go 8-10hrs without eating just to be sober enough to drive? I said I know I can't wait that long to eat for a number of reasons: #1 being I've lost all my pre-pregnancy weight so I'm burning fat reserves at this point, #2 being I've actually managed to mantain my weight this week by eating meals filled with carbs like mac and cheese and potstickers and I don't want to start losing again and #3 being if I do go that long without eating, I"m going to be lightheaded from hypoglycemia and unable to drive.
He told me to just eat breakfast and then not eat anything else the rest of the day until we pick her up. I told him if I eat one meal, I'm going to crave other things to eat all day. My hunger is so bad at times, it wakes me up from a deep sleep. Since my pain meds are being closely watched, if I eat in the middle of the night, it only allows me 2 other times to eat during the day. When I said I just can't go that long, he told me to figure it out. I burst in to tears because I can't figure it out. How am I supposed to go the entire day and not eat just so his mom doesn't have to drive into the big, bad city? DH left for school without saying goodbye and I haven't heard from him since. He's at work currently and won't be home until 10:30pm.
I feel really bad that I can't make it that long, but I think it's too much to ask me at this point. I feel his mom had plenty of opportunity to come and get the nursery done and declined due to her issues. I feel I have the right to decline this due to my issues. We did not expect for me to have a bowel obstruction and for me to be in the condition I am when we offered this to her. And to top it all off, she is supposed to be attending my husband's white coat ceremony for school in 3 weeks. Her girlfriend is driving her up. When I suggested she cancel and come up early on that date and do the nursery I was told no. So now I'm stressed out and sad.
Ok, thanks for letting me vent. I'm going to lay down since I aggravated my obstruction today and it hurts.
That's really unfair! You've finally got a solution that works for you. You're being smart and responsible with your pain meds about not driving!!! (by the way, if you got in an accident and it came to light that you'd been on pain meds, insurance won't cover it most likely... it's one of those tiny clauses in most policies)
Couldn't she drive to the town near your city and take a taxi??
Hope a solution comes to light that is fair for you!
Hang in there!!!
Couldn't she drive to the town near your city and take a taxi??
Hope a solution comes to light that is fair for you!
Hang in there!!!
She doesn't want to leave her car. Plus she's afraid that the cab driver will take advantage of her. .y husband came home last night and said he would figure it out. I woke up last night dying of hunger, so I knew I couldn't make it until 5pm today. I'm really exhausted today and the area where my obstruction is hurts today. Since I can only take pain meds when I eat, my only option to alleviate the iscomfort is to take Tylenol and lie down. She was on the phone pouting about the stress DH is under trying to get her up here. DH was using the speakerphone and I overheard say she wishes I was more a team player. This is going to be a fun weekend.
OMG, your post makes me so angry at your MIL and Husband! Are they really that insensitive and selfish to see what they are asking of you is out of line. Either they have no clue on your condition or what type of pain your having or they are so childish and selfish that it makes me want to slap the crap out of them! I know for a fact my husband wouldn't allow his mother (or anyone else for that matter) talk about me the way your husband is and would defend me to no end. He needs to stand up for you and defend you! He really needs to grow a back bone and stand up for you to his mother! He shouldn't be so insensitive to you! Does he know how much pain your in and the condition your in? He must and he obviously sees how hard it is for you to eat and the weight you have lost. I think someone needs to sit him down and have a talk with him! Sorry, but I'm pissed you even have to deal with this crap right now! Be strong and stand up for yourself! Do what's best for you and don't let anybody make you feel guilty!
I'm really upset now because the woman DID NOT DRIVE UP yesterday! Apparently, the items for the nursery are handmade, which is fine, but were not done. So, she stayed up all night to complete them. She then attempted to drive up this morning after being up for 24 hours. I made my husband call her and say she cannot drive until she has had at least 6 hours of sleep. It's a 2 hour drive, but it's a straight shot and is very boring. She pouted again but is currently sleeping to make the drive up this evening.
My husband called his grandmother for support and she actually agreed with me stating she should not come at all and wait until her friend drives her up for his ceremony. She also told him that from the description of my issues, it's not safe for me to drive and I should be left alone. Again, DH used the speakerphone so I could hear everything. I was very happy to hear that because she really didn't like me at first because I'm black. Now, she's on my side.
Maybe she will make it today, maybe not. I told DH to tell her to just ship it when it's done and we can put the nursery together ourselves. It's really not that serious.
My husband called his grandmother for support and she actually agreed with me stating she should not come at all and wait until her friend drives her up for his ceremony. She also told him that from the description of my issues, it's not safe for me to drive and I should be left alone. Again, DH used the speakerphone so I could hear everything. I was very happy to hear that because she really didn't like me at first because I'm black. Now, she's on my side.
Maybe she will make it today, maybe not. I told DH to tell her to just ship it when it's done and we can put the nursery together ourselves. It's really not that serious.
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