Am I being a b****?? MIL

Ok LONGGGGG story short, my MIL always tries to manipulate and control every single situation all while acting like she is sweet and innocent...

Last week Russ, Sage and I went on a mini vacation for only 2 nights.  Well his mom asked if we minded if her and FIL "only came for one night."  I said HELL NO!  But my FIL, who I really like and isn't a pain in the ass what so ever, had a day off and he never gets to spend time with Sage so I said ok... Well MIL was so damn clingy and literally acted like Sage was hers all day and night.  She even calls her "her baby" which makes me want to punch her but I digress...

So this was last week, we saw her 3 days (a day before also and another day that week), spent a lot of time with her.  Now she is calling me non stop wanting to see Sage tomorrow.  I am SO busy, we are finally closing on our house next week and I am stuck doing all this last minute stuff.  Then she wanted to come friday, I said no, I have plans.  Then she wants to come this weekend, I also said no because I will not be home on Sunday and we are supposed to get some of that hurricane.  Well now she is calling my MOM (I am staying with her until our house is done) asking her if she can come down.  UMM I am not 12 years old.  You do not call my mother.

We are seeing her this coming up Tuesday and she is watching Sage while Russ and I go out with friends.  I am busy  but could fit her in if i HAD to, but I don't feel like I need to re arrange my life for her.

FYI we had a huge discussion about how clingy and controlling she has been, she said she 'under stood" and "didn't realize."

Am I being a ***** or is she nuts?

a bit of both... be glad she wants to see sage and loves her as much as she does.. not all grandparents are like that... its her first and only grandchild... allow her to enjoy sage... shes only tiny once... as much as i hated giving up total control of jayson.. i shared him with my mom.. and im glad i did... they have the best relationship i could ask for... and everytime he pees on the potty ( think 15 times a day so he can have a gummy worm or popsicle) he calls her and she at least pretends to be excited for his bodily function LOL..i can usually bribe him with phone calls to grandma and they love to spend time with each other.. if i hadnt let down my wall.. it would have never have happened... her and jaylyn are friendly and she likes to call my mom too and enjoys spending time with her... but jayson and my mom are like chocolate and milk.. they go great together

thanks Lex, you KNOW i dont keep them from each other, but it's just a bit much lately.  I feel like I am wrong but I do not like being manipulated.

she doesnt do everything as i do... and sometimes that drives me insane... but she would never put my kids in danger ... and if she gives them a whole box of gogurt... well... i just say omg and think to myself at least it wasnt cookies..she has alot more patience then i do... sits with them for an hour so they can finish a puzzle ... buys them all kinds of stuff for her house.. stuff they dont need but she wants them to have... after all this time i just laugh and say ok LOL

I agree with what Lex said and just wanted to add that if you feel you are wrong, then chances are you need to back down a little bit.....but I totally can see why you feel manipulated and I'm sure she makes you feel guilty somehow.....before you give her an answer on when she can see your daughter....maybe sit back and think about what is best for you and your daugher before giving her an answer.....like tell her your busy at the moment and will call her back when you have more time.....give yourself time to think it out before automatically saying NO just because she is irritating you.  Don't know if I made any sense or not.....hope so.

I can completely understand how the manipulating could make you wanna scream at her, I have a MIL like that as well...but...at least she does actively wants to be a Grandma. My MIL tells my 4 year old son that she will come visit (she lives 15 minutes away) and never shows up. Then when we take him to see her she acts as if we don't bring him by enough, making comments like she NEVER gets to see him! She also calls him HER baby and that she is his Grand "Mommy"! Um, hell to the no lady! That's my title! She knows how this frustrates me especially because my son is adopted and at one time while he was an infant we almost lost him back to the birth family. She knows how important "being Mommy" is to me. Ugh! Then I gave birth in January of this year to my baby girl and she has been over to see her 3 times...15 minutes away! Then when she does see her if we visit her she acts as if she knows her crys and what she wants more so than I do! I'm like you don't even know her! Seriously if there was a forum to complain about Mil's I'd probably be the most known for writing on it! LOL. Shrug her off and just take care of your babies and Hubby. She sounds nuts so don't try and let her get the best of you!

I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, my mother in law had my daughter overnight, said she didn't need a car seat cause they weren't going to go out anywhere, and they just happened to end up at the same restaurant we did! No car seat, they seat belted her into a booster seat!!!! Mind you she's only 18 lbs!!! Sorry, I had to share my MIL frustrations too.

ummm holy **** i would never let her have her again.  that is NOT acceptable! omgg

OMG! Tammi, that's HORRIFYING!!!! I would never let her have my daughter alone again! I hope your hubby reamed her out! I think sometimes our hubby's don't understand that they are the ones that need to stand up in the situation. My hubby is learning to, but it's been a tough road.

OK, my MIL was smoking in her house (which I didn't know about until we showed up with Lorelai one day). She had the audacity to be offended when I got pissed. SERIOUSLY?! She acknowledged the fact that she was doing wrong (not wrong, unless you EVER want your grandaughter to visit!), but didn't think the way I confronted her about it was very nice. Anyway, she stopped smoking in her house an it's been fine since, but seriously, are these MIL's taking crazy pills?

My husband didn't say anything as that's what they do in their family is not confront any issues. So I just told him when we got home that they won't be watching her anymore than a few hours when I KNOW they won't be going any where with her. He agreed that they were way out of line.