in shock...now what? (long vent)

I will be 13 months out from RNY 8/22...my main reason for WLS was so I could have healthy pregnancies and raise a healthy family.  Hubby and I activly tried for 2 months (May & June).  I hadnt reached goal, but my weight had stabalized, and I felt like we were at a good place to TTC.  Both tries were unsuccessful but we realized when it was meant to happen it would.  In July we didnt activily try because I had just accepted a new job so I figured the timing wouldnt be good.  But guess what?  Just our luck, I got a BFP this past weekend.  I honestly didnt think it was possible, because I had practically no symptoms, besides typical PMS.  But the test was positive..when I POAS and saw the + I wanted to cry...so many emotions going through me at once.  It wasnt exactly how had pictured that moment.  Hubby was crying with joy, I was crying because I was so overwhelmed with all the unknowns...thats kind of where I'm at now.  I hate that I can't just enjoy this time with my husband.  He is grinning ear to ear and I can't help but worry about EVERYTHING! 

Here are some of my worries...any help/advice would be lovely

~how do I tell my new employer that I'm expecting without "shooting myself in foot"? (I start the new position 8/15)
~Because of switching jobs, I wont have insurance/benefits until Dec 1st...how many appointments can I expect that I'll have to pay outta pocket for right in the begining?
~So I got my BFP, now what? I called my OBGYN's office and they said I need to come in for a urine test...should I/can I request a blood test? Will they be able to estimate my due date based on the urine test or is this appointment just to confirm?
~Because we weren't TTC in July, I wasnt mindful of what I was eating/doing...I drink crystal light and coffee like its going out of style, I eat deli meat pretty often, I consumed alcohol on several occasions, and just recently I have been painting my home.  Am I worry for nothing about this stuff?
~lately I've been training/working out really hard...started the Bridge to 10k program and have been attending high intensity boot camp classes at the gym..do I keep doing this or slow down a bit?

please tell me these feelings are normal...I am neurotic by nature, practically write "to do" lists in my sleep, but I'm honestly scared of all the "what-ifs".  I thought when the time came, I would be ready...now I know why they say you can never really be ready lol.

Here's a pic of the test...just a reminded to myself/proof that no matter how much in shock I am, its happening.  thank you all for listening/reading...I guess I just needed to get this all out.



PS. obviously we arent annoucing anything yet, not for a while, so those of you who are FB friends, shhhh! :)

First off, you dont NEED to tell your employer, cuz they can retract the offer of the job. They can also make it sound like it wasnt because you were pregnant rather that they came to the conclusion they didnt need you.

You do what is "BEST FOR YOU!" do not worry about the deli meats, dont worry about your insurance what they pay or dont pay and how much out of pocket. To many people worry about that and sit and ask if they should go in or not but dont want too because tehy dont want the bill etc...lots of people get themselves into a situation that they later regret.

Start a prenatal vitamin with folic acid.
YES ask for a blood test and at the sametime tell them you want a FULL panel to be done at that time to get a baseline to start from.

Yes, slow down with your workouts, just let them know and they will show you alternative exercises that willbe safer.

DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!

No matter if this is your first baby or 10th baby you are never EVER prepared...trust me on this..i have 4 and each one iwas more worried about the other...major differences between my 1st one and my 4th one...

As for your diet, just add EXTRA protein, its your decision on if you keep drinking caffeine etc...as for the Crystal light? your fine...

NOW, sit down, breathe and go celebrate...new job, new baby, new beginnings...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!


P.S. i didnt even suspect i was pregnant with the last one, went to a party the weds before i found out, sucked down quite a bit of tequilia...yes you have an OH crap moment, but everyone does it and thinks that way. NOW you know and know what you need to do...

OH and another thing? DONT READ BOOKS ABOUT PREGNANCIES!!! they just freak you out and get more paranoid, bout the only thiing they are good for is telling you what the baby looks like and how big and what they are doing that month for movements etc....

As for being neurtotic? your pregnant and can get away with it. =P

First of all - CONGRATULATIONS!! You need to relax for you and the baby...I know, easier said than done, but really...

Unless I missed it, how far along are you. The doctors office will use the first day of your last period to estimate your weeks along. Then they'll give you a due date at your first sonogram.

As far as all the "bad" stuff you think you were doing, MANY women have done the same things before they knew they were pregnant. As someone told me when I was nervous about some of that, think of all the teenagers who are pregnant and the bad stuff they do and consume!  Their babies turn out fine. Those little beans are more resiliant than we think! It'll be okay. Now you know, and you'll take your vitamins and eat right, right?

As far as the high intensity working out, maybe just cut back a bit. But definately keep up exercising during pregnance as long as your doctor allows. For many women, it's right up until birth. The more in shape you are, the easier delivery should be. But I don't think you'd want to be too intense about it, your body needs the energy to take care of you and that growing baby.

As far as telling your employer, I'd wait until you're at least past 12 weeks along. I don't mean to sound negative, but that's kind of the safe point to get past as far as miscarriage. I didn't tell my employer until about 18 weeks for medical reasons.

My ob/gyn saw me at 7 weeks, 12 weeks, 15 weeks, 20 weeks, etc. I think they're all different, so not sure how many appts you may have before  Dec. 1st. But if there's a family planning clinic or something like that where you live, maybe you can get cheaper check ups.

Anyway, these are all just my opinion. Everyone's experiences are different.
Best wishes to you!!
Kina

Congrats to you and your husband! I was just thinking about while I was on vacation about you wanting a baby...and get home to finally read this congrats! You both will make great parents!

Hi, congrats on your BFP!  Your feelings are completely normal and you are not alone!  Here is my response to your post:

I wouldn't tell your employer until your at least out of the 1st trimester and then possibly waiting until your starting to show.  They are NOT supposed to discriminate against pregnant woman and you want to make sure you are past the point of pregnancy that has the highest chance of miscarriage.

Assuming you make your 1st doctors appointment for this month, you can expect to go every 4 weeks after your 1st appointment (so possibly 4 appointments out of pocket).  I would highly suggest you go down to your local Department of Human Services and apply for Medicad.  I don't know how your state works or if every state works the same way, but they cannot turn you down for coverage if your pregnant (I live in the state of Michigan and they put you on what is called Healthy Kids) and all you have to do is send in proof of pregnancy.....so I would check that out!

You can ask your doctors office to confirm your pregnancy by blood test, but the urine test might be sufficient.  They wont be able to tell your due date by this test, that would have to be down with an ultrasound.....especially given you don't know when you ovulated or when your last missed period was.  Your 1st appointment should be basically to confirm the pregancy and given information/material to take home......some doctors office schedule your 1st exam at this time....others only confirm the pregnancy.

I wouldn't be worried or concerned about the crystal light, coffee, deli meat, painting or the little bit of alcohol you consumed.  Obviously, you don't want to consume alcohol and you want to cut back on the other things (though I feel in moderation the coffee and crystal light are fine).  You do need to be careful with deli meats and make sure they are cooked or warmed in the microwave before consuming, but there are several ladies (including myself) that induldge time to time with cold cuts.  I believe painting this early on is fine, but I would talk to your OB about that before resuming!

I personally feel you should cut back some on the boot camp type of workouts, but exercising in general is safe and healthy.  Again, I would talk to your OB about this and see what they suggest!

  i just had to ask, is crystal light a bad thing? because i could NOT get my liquids in without crystal light. is that bad for the baby???

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's an individual thing - I personally want to severely limit (preferably eliminate) my intake of artificial sweeteners while I'm pregnant. They generally claim to be safe, but I prefer to be even safer  :P

 but nowhere does it say you shouldn't drink crystal light because it will harm the baby right? because i figure when you think of some of the things people consume while preggers (sugary sodas) crystal light can't be that harmful. also if its the only way to get your waters in (other than hot teas) it can't be all bad right? i mean staying hydrated is important. this is the first i've heard of anyone even questioning crystal light. eep! this really  concerns me now. 

but if its a personal preference, to stay as pure as possible then i get that.

I'm pretty sure it's just a personal preference.

I'll opt for water with lemon and/or lime or diluted real fruit juice instead of Crystal Light when the time comes (actually, it will be instead of diet SODA - that' my primary weakness!). My other biggest challenge will be trying to make a decent protein shake without any artificial sweeteners or soy and still have it be low in carbs...I've tried a few times but have yet to be successful.

Anyway, yes, it's just a personal preference to limit artificial ingredients  :)