Totally Random Vent - & totally selfish, too

Hey girls, I'm deleting.

The surgery she had sounds like it is the Gastric Sleeve or VSG. 

I'm so sorry that you are going through this, especially with your mom- the very person who should be strong for YOU. I believe though that you are taking the right steps with untangling yourself from her self destructiveness. Remember, YOU can't control her actions, or even condone them. My advise is to love her for being your mom, but to stand firmly in your beliefs and that you are now as mature (or probably more so) than she is and you have the RIGHT to your own feelings, decisions and choices. Be kind with your words with her, but don't lie when she asks. Do what makes YOU feel comfortable- ie ten years down the road make sure that the decisions that you make today are ones that you can live with. (I got that piece of advise frome my counselor during my divorce and its pretty sage advise in any situation).

Good luck!

Boundaries are good.
My family is riddled with Mental Illness.
I have purposely placed myself (husband & son too)hundreds of miles away.
Their words can still bother me, but I limit contact with them even via telephone.
That is what I have to do to raise another generation as my Mom
had: females & males are equal; you can do anything you set your mind to do.
You have tried, sometimes you just have to step back and let them fall.

my family is full of people with mental health issues... very very sad to watch it unfold and know you cant do not a damn thing about it.... my grandfather was in a war... came back very very messed up... very very violent... anyway.. thats neither here nor there.... my sil is an addict... as much as i hate watching the drama unfold and i just want to shake them and say "wake the f*ck up.. you have so much to loose.. wtf are you doing".. i dont... ive learned that sometimes its best to watch them fail... and fall.. and prevent death as much as you can...see enabling them to do things just makes them bitter.. and hateful... and well.. i know you know... my mom also had a drinking problem.. (jayson and i lived with her for a year with this) ... eventually i told her that she couldnt hold/see him until she stopped drinking... she hasnt purchased another drink since... i know im not much help... and im also rambling... but i feel for you!

no.. i didnt.. i did one of those "wow that looks interesting.. ill read it later" things and forgot all about it... ill be sure to look at it when  the self proclaimed "lighting mcqueen" and "winkerbell" go to bed