hopefully not offensive... tell me what you think about this

My husband and I went out with one of his "friends" and his wife. The wife is pregnant. The guys ordered some drinks and I had one shot (my first post wls) which got me toasted o_O lol. but the wife kept taking shots. I wasnt trying to be rude or nosey but i asked her if it was safe to drink being pregnant especially in first trimester. She stated that she had a tubal pregnancy and it will more than likely end in a miscarriage. I just fell quiet and didnt say anything else because I'm not very familiar w/ miscarriage types and situations but isnt she still pregnant? I felt really bad for her but is there a possiblility that it wouldnt end in miscarriage? I know people grieve in different ways but to see her downing all of that liquor was a bit shocking to me.

ALL tubal pregnancies end in miscarriage and/or surgical removal of fetus.  The baby cannot survive.  It is possible if she knows it is tubal, she may already be receiving methotrexate shots.

I have gone through 6 losses.  There were a few times when I knew that I was losing the baby (hormones decreasing, etc.), that I have drank.  Once you know there is nothing you can do, perhaps it was helping her take away some of the pain.

Now, if she said that just to make you feel better about the situation and she indeed has a healthy pregnancy, then that is just plain wrong.

If she knows it's tubal, it will end in a miscarriage or D&E. Let her have her shots.

at this stage any fetus that is developing is not connected by a placenta so the alcohol she's ingesting isn't really an issue (mom and baby aren't sharing a blood supply yet).

I found out last wednesday that I had an ectopic pregnancy. I was given methotrexate. On Sat. morning I had a mimosa. A small one. I never drink but I knew it wouldn't matter to my pregnancy and I said what the hell. On Monday I needed emergency surgery to remove the fetus and my entire right tube. It freaking sucks. I agree - let the woman drink. Hopefully she is safe about it and doesn't hurt herself b driving etc.

ok, i wasnt sure that is why i asked thanks for the information. so sorry about the loses you all have encountered, im sure pregnancies ending in miscarriages are very difficult to deal with. my thoughts and prayers go out to her and anyone having to deal with that.

Thanks ladies

no it wont hurt the baby if it is infact tubal... could i do it? prob not... just me holding onto hope... hoping that somehow the dr was wrong.

I certainly wouldn't judge  we all have to do what we have to do, but I wouldn't do it neither - I am not a drinker anyways!  My drug of choice would be eating or shopping - I've done both under a like cir****tance.

The thing with an etopic is that it is absolutely not a viable pregnancy.  I would not risk a rupture or tubal removal ( it decreases the rate of getting pregnant by 50%) ESPECIALLY with my very advanced maternal age.  I'd have less chance to have a viable pregnancy in the future not to mention all the mental and very physical trauma of letting what is doomed play out.

Ooooh I could slap her!!!   That mess makes me MAD!! Ladies all over the world begging God for children and she is treating her blessing like garbage!!!  Ugh.....

Did you read the entire post?  The lady indicated she had a tubal pregnancy, which means the baby is 100% not viable.  I am one of those ladies that would give anything for a baby, but there is nothing she can do at that point.  If it eases her pain, I have no problem with it.  Chances are her doc doesn't either.

I'm sorry I still do not agree with it....I do admit that I do not know a lot about tubal pregnancies, however she is still pregnant. The pregnancy has not ended yet so IN MY OPINION I dont think she should be drinking....everyone is different though! Thats another thing I understand....but thats just my opinion!  :)