Speaking of support...kinda long

Don't feel guilty! Your output may improve ocver time, or it may not. Breastfeeding is HARD and it is even harder when we get saddled with guilt because we aren't doing it or aren't doing it perfectly! The wonderful thing is that we HAVE formula so that your baby can still get what he needs. You're still giving him the most important thing: love!

Thank you. And I am so thankful for formula! I love my little man beyond words. Part of that is why I feel the guilt. Everyone and every book tells you how much better bfing is that you feel horrible when you can't seem to get it right.

Oh I know, I had a rough time as well. We struggled with latching on, it took a long time for my milk to come in and I didn't make enough, then he got reflux which made it painful for him to feed if he was horizontal, so we had to struggle to find a position that was comfortable for him! Wihout being able to supplement, I don't know what I would have done! I was surrounded by women whose only experiences had been of making TOO MUCH breastmilk (friends, mom, mother in law), so no one was all that helpful for how to deal with not making enough. For the first few weeks I was feeding him every 2 hours AND pumping in between to try to get my supply up, finally I knew if I kept up that pace I would probably lose my mind, and I just decided that my body will do what it does and formula will have to do the rest.

Honestly the biggest thing that saved my sanity was something that happened a few weeks before my son was born. I was at a farewell party for a friend and we were all leaving, when one of her friends (that I had only met once before and who had a 1 yr old) got out of her car and ran back to mine and said "Breastfeeding is HARD and don't let anyone tell you it isn't! You're not going crazy, but you will feel like it!" She seriously saved my sanity. Well, that and some zoloft!

I can relate. I am unable to produce much milk too, I would pump all day and not even get 1 full ounce! I too had a nipple that would invert when bringing the baby to it. It is so frustrating when you hear so many people always saying you should breastfeed and then when your body won't do it, you feel inadequate. I felt exactly the same way, I cried and cried about not being able to breastfeed my baby like "everyone else". No one else I knew had any issues with supply, they all thought I was just giving up cause it was hard. I used shields, supplemental feeders, every position out there, herbs, teas, pumping every 2 hours, ect. My point is that you can only do what you can do and at some point it is going to be enough and you need to decide when that point is. I kept on pumping and breastfeeding, then supplementing until my baby was 2 months and then I had enough and I think she had enough too. She would get so frustrated at the breast that I felt bad for her and she was so happy to just take a bottle. She was starving and working so hard to get such a small amount that I stopped beating myself up and just went with it. It sucks. I know. I hope things work out, just know you're not alone.

Yes that is it exactly. Everyone tells you how great and important it is. Then you feel a failure when it doesn't work out for you. Thank you for reminding me I am not alone. I am going to keep working on it while I can but I am also going to try to accept whatever happens.

Hello,
I have four children and breastfeed all of them.  The first few weeks were sooooo hard. For the first one No one told me that it would be so hard.  I literally went back to labor and delivery every day for a week for help with the latch on.   I actually sought out professional help for all except number three.  Number three was a dream she nursed within first hour and was a pro from there.   The rest of them had me in tears over and over again.   The last one was born four weeks early and stayed in NICU for ten days.  I had to teach her how to nurse after 2 weeks of bottle feeding with pumped milk.   I even went to two specialist for help.  In the end my stubborness won and they all nursed.  I nursed #1 until 9months, #2 to 15months, #3 to 2 years, and #4 to 3yrs.
For me the pump made things worse for me mentally because I focused so much on the numbers so with my last one once she was out of the hospital and on the breast I stopped using the pump.

My advise is most babies eventally get it.  It really is just how much you can take emotionally in getting to the end result.   No mother is right or wrong in the path they take on this issue.  Every mother always does the best they can with the situation they have.

Sandra

I thought I was prepared because I did know it can be hard to get things working. But "knowing" from a book and 2nd hand experiences and "knowing" from crying at 3 am with the baby because both of you are frustrated and tired is a whole different knowing. I have seen 3 different consultants so far but I will see what else I can do. Congrats on being so sucessful with bfing your babies. I don't think I could make it 2 and 3 years even if BFing was a dream!

Both of my nipples are inverted - all the time, not just when I was trying to bf my son.  A few months before he was born, I started wearing the nipple shields trying to coax them out, but it didn't work.  After he was born, I tried bfing for several weeks...and each time both of us would end up in tears.  I did produce milk, but back then I don't know if the dual pump existed or not...but I only had a single pump, and I'd be pumping one and get a few ounces out...but the other breast would be leaking like Niagra falls, wasting all that milk.  It is frustrating as hell when you're trying, you know you're not 'doing it wrong,'  but can't get it to work right, either. 

Regarding his tongue...ask his dr to check it.  He could be 'tongue tied,' which your dr should be able to recognize by looking at his tongue.  This can cause latching problems, but your dr would be able to tell you if it is causing his latching problem.  When I was 18 and having my wisdom teeth removed, the dentist told me that I was tongue tied and wanted to know did I want him to snip it for me.  Umm.....NO.  I'm talking just fine thank you! But I mentioned it to my mother, who told me that I was tongue tied as a baby and the drs did snip it then...I guess just not enough to satisfy my snip happy dentist.  I did have to take speech classes when I was in 2nd grade to help pronounce the letter 'r' and a few other letters...and I do notice if I get really tired even now (I'm 43), I'll start screwing up my 'r' and make it sound like a 'w.'

This website will give you more information on it and whether you think it's something to ask his dr about:  http://members.tripod.com/~Caroline_Bowen/tonguetie.html

Other than that...just know that a lot of what you're going through right now is hormones.  If it gets really bad and/or you feel you're spending too much time crying about it - or anything else - talk to your dr...see if you have post partum depression.  It's NORMAL to have some post partum crying...just don't let it make you sad too often...it's an occasional thing.

I didn't even realize that inverted nipples would be a problem until I had my first consultant trying to help me get him to latch on. She said oh this may be a problem and my heart kinda sunk. I couldn't believe I didn't even think of it. So when I read some more they meantioned the whole shield thing to being them out while still pregnant. I was like.. geez too late now!

I checked out the website. Thanks. I will have his dr check it out. I keep watching his tongue. I can't quite tell if he doesn't want to stick it out past his lips or can't. It will be something I follow up with for sure.