Speaking of support...kinda long

I didn't mean to make you cry! I was doing enough of that for all of us! I am working on moving on to the "better" now and taking it one day at a time.

OMG girl, I can feel your guilt.  I had difficulty breastfeeding all 3 of my children.  All 3 of my children I had to supplement formula.  I was able to breastfeed my 1st son for 3 months, my 2nd child I nursed for 4.5 months and with my last child, I only nursed for about 1.5 months.  I was greatly disappointed and felt terrible that I couldn't and didn't nurse my last child longer.  You see I felt more educated about breastfeeding and was hoping to nurse him for at least 6 months and up to a year.  I thought I had read up enough on how to increase milk supply and such, but turns out that he was a sleepy baby and didn't suckle enough to bring in a good supply of milk.  I was at the doctors office way more than I wanted checking his weight....I was sent to a lactation consultant that really just made me feel worse than I already did and told me that I would never be able to solely breastfeed him.  She suggested I get a pump and continue to nurse him along with formula, but said that by this time, my breast wouldn't produce enough for him.  The pumping schedule was so time consuming and stessfull because I hardly got any out when I pumped that I finally decided to switch to formula completely.  I was devastated and felt like a complete failure for about a week and then finally accepted the fact that it didn't work out and let it go.  Yes, breast milk is the best we can give for our babies and I'm thankful that I was able to feed him breast milk for a short time, but our babies can still get the nurishment they need with formula and still be bright, healthy and happy kiddos!  Try not to beat yourself up to much about the pumping and breastfeeding.....if you need to quit to save your sanity, then by all means quit!  It don't make you a bad mother and your little one will still do well and be healthy and happy!  The guilt and dissapointment will get better!

I can feel you when you said the consultant made you feel worse. One nurse I had in the begining did that to me as well. I told the day nurse I did not want her back. She was very set in her option on things should be a certain way and you are failing if you can't/don't do it that way. She nearly jumped down my throat when I asked for a passie for Liam. And yes the schedule feels so time consuming as well. 30ish mins to feed Liam.. then  30-45 to pump/clean up.. and with him sleeping 3 hours..by the time you lay down you have 1 hour 30 mins to sleep maybe.. And that is assuming YOU don't have to eat or do anything else. I know it will get better. I know it is what expected for having a newborn. But none of that makes you less stressed when you are alone with the crying baby at 3 in the morning and you just wish your breasts would be the thing that would fix it all.

You are definitly not whining and you should absolutely NOT feel guilty.

I was extremely lucky when I breastfed my daughter.  She had no latch problems and I never had any pain or soreness.  I breastfed her for 2 1/2 years with huge H boobs (was over 300lbs when she was born).  But I am not the norm.  I just got really lucky.  Most women do experience some problems.  I really think that you need to do what is best for you and Liam.  If that means formula, than that's what you do.  There is nothing wrong with formula.  I will say that a lot of women who pump are not able to pump very much since a pump is not as efficient as the baby.  But if you are able to pump some breast milk and give it to him and that is what you want to do, then you should.  But if it is causing you trouble and distress, then that is not good for Liam or you.  You are no less of a mother because you use formula and please do not think that.  You do what is best for your baby and everything will be fine.

Good luck.

I think it also gets to me that my bestie is like you. She is lucky and has no problems getting her baby to bf. Infact she sometimes pumps because she makes so much breast milk she consistantly feels engorged. Our babies were born on the say day and everything about the delivery and the babies are totally different. Thank you for the kind words. I am trying to keep them in my head instead of the negative self recrimination and guilt.

I don't have any advice as breast feeding didn't work out for me with my 6 year old son, but just want to say if it doesn't work out for you it's not the end of the world - even though you may feel guilty/ disappointed (as I did). Formula will be just great, my son did well on it, as do many other babies.

with your weepiness, do you have someone around helping you? - keep us informed of how you'refeeling>

You are doing just great even trying to bf- good luck and I hope it gets better for you, not just BF but everything that goes with being a new mom.
Becky x

I moved in with my mom so she could help me out. But she works 5 days a week and I strongly feel this is my baby, I should be the one to take care of him. But she does help out with other things like dinner and laundry. Most of the time I am very happy. I am surprised how happy even. I kiss all over Liam's face and talk to him and dance. We have a great time. It's those late night feedings that you wish you could stick him on the breast, cuddle, and be done with it.

Thank you for caring. I am working on accepting it instead of feeling guilty about it.

you are soooo cute x -  I can't wait to kiss my babys face as you do to liam  xxx You sound like you're doing just great, keep us all updated x

Hopefully this post will show.

I had the same issues with my son and only could nurse for 10weeks.  I was sooo upset that I couldn't nurse him longer.  While pregnant with my daughter I found out about the Supplemental Nursing System from Medela.  It is a bottle that you put formula/breast milk in and then hang around your neck.  There is a tube in the top that you place against your nipple so the baby can get the formula the same time as nursing.

I got it while pregnant with my daughter and started using it right away.  She is now 7 1/2 months old and still nursing.  She gets 5 oz in the SNS the same time as nursing.  I love that I have been able to nurse her this long and highly recommend it if you want to do more nursing.  My son quit nursing at 10 weeks because the bottle was so much easier for him.  Juliette is a nursing champ and will take a bottle also, but loves to nurse.  I too felt broken after Jackson's experience and now feel mostly whole again as far as nursing goes.

You can get the SNS on the Medela website.  It isn't cheap but soooo worth it. 

Good luck,

Jackie

Thank you for the suggestion. I will look into it. Does it work if the baby wont latch on?