Gender disappointment.

i think you knew my fears of having a girl... when i found out jaylyn was infact a girl.. i cried... i cried hard... i didnt buy her anything really until i was over 30 weeks... and that was a shotgun for her future boyfriends ( no im not kidding) i was terrified of a girl... i didnt know what to do with a vagina.. hell id never even seen another one execpt my own... and even then who looks at their vagina... i hate pepto bismal pink... i hate sparkles... i hate dolls and barbies ... i hate most girl things.... to be honest i have still not bought her much pink... i leave that up to grandparents/aunts/uncles... thank god her only girly feature is a love for shoes... she would rather play in the mud then with dolls... she body slams her dolls... shes not afraid of bugs or lizards... again here comes jayla... with all my heart i wanted a boy.... they said girl.. i said check again... then i got over it that quick... i even bought her a pink outfit.. thats right.. in that ugly pepto pink i HATE!...if i went for my next scan... and they told me boy... i think i would be so overjoyed that i would pee or something...

thanks guys, makes me feel like less of a jerk when I realize how many people feel this way.  I am only 5 weeks but I go back and forth about what I think it is.  I had a dream it was a boy last night, I think I am just trying to prepare myself if it is a boy by saying it is one now so i won't be so disappointed. 

I have to admit that I really thought this baby was a girl and deep down was hoping for a girl.  She would have rounded out our family nicely and I couldn't imagine how another boy could possibly compete with my almost 3 year old son who has the "IT" factor and gets noticed where ever we go!  I wouldn't even look at boy names yet...but looked and thought about girls names.  I was looking forward to buying all the cute girly stuff as well!  And because my only daughter has a learning disability (though you can't tell by looking at her), she is 10 but acts and has the learning capibilites of a 6 year old.....I was hoping for a "normal" (hate the way that sounds but only way to really discribe it) girl that got into all the girly things and wanted to be a princess and would play dolls and house and make believe.  Needless to say, I said I would be more than fine if it was a boy and I know there are a  ton of great things about boys....not to mention less drama and attitude....plus boys seem more laid back.  Our house is better equiped for boys (no need to finish another room in our downstairs as the youngest can easily share a room) and I started holding onto my youngest sons clothes and stuff.  Plus I know a boy will cost much less and I don't have to go through all the puburity stuff with another girl (dreading that day with my 10 year old).  Well I didn't realize how upset and disappointed I would be until the day after my ultrasound when everything all at once hit me like a ton of bricks.....EVERYTHING was bothering me that day and all I wanted to do was cry.  I had to really get to the bottom of it and finally admitted my disappointment.  After talking with my hubby and best friend and getting out of the house for a short time, I started to feel much better.  The next day was even better and now I've adjusted to the idea and immediately started looking for boys names.  I'm over the disappointment and look forward to another boy!  There is many reasons why a boy will be better for us and I have come to the conclusion that my daughter needs to be the only girl in the house!  I'm also hoping that this boy will be the little boy I pictured having from a young girl with dark hair and dark eyes (exactly the way my hubby looked as a young boy)!  But don't get me wrong, I have 2 very handsome and cute boys that have lighter colored hair and blue eyes and I wouldn't change them for the world and I'm sure this one will be just as cute and special even if he isn't exactly what I envisioned as a young girl!

Karen ~ Woot! Congratulations! I am really happy for you. That being said I am gonna get on the soapbox a minute. I 'get' gender disappointment. I do, really. And I know you will be okay either way. I know you well enough to know that health comes first. But, when you think of gender disappointment just remember all the ladies on the TTC list that have been trying for months, a year, years...that would give their left arm for 'a' healthy baby regardless of gender. A baby is a baby and you will love that baby so much no matter what the gender. Just say a little thank you to God today for your blessing and say a little prayer for the girls trying for their first baby. Off the soapbox now.

Hope you have a happy and healthy and blessed nine months! Congratulations on a sibling, it is an awesome gift...unlike that of having a single child. I thank God everyday for my blessings. Shari

Oh my god. Is this post for real? Are you kidding me? Karen, and all of you who admitted crying for days about gender disappointment. I see this is going to my most offensive reply of all but I am am totally disgusted here.
Karen, you've been pregnant for about 7 minutes and have suffered ( believe) 3 MC or CP's since the winter. Your main priority should be staying pregnant and with a healthy baby, regardless of it's sex. And you already have a little girl. How will you feel if you go your NT scan and they tell you there is no nasal bone? Or the anatomy scan at 20 weeks and find out there is a mass growing in it's brain? Or 5 years down the line and you realize he is sufferering from a developmental disorder? Have you ever packed a picnic up to take your child to the Special Olympics...as an athlete? I have. There are so many things that can go wrong during a pregnancy that I think we are all starting to take it for granted that our little ones will pop out a perfect baby. There is nothing wrong with hoping for a certain gender. If anyone was setting themselves up for gender disappointment it was me....I was buying girls stuff left and right and even had a whole pink registry picked out on Amazon. Then we found out is was a boy (and healthy, with all it's limbs and organs) and I felt maybe 2 minutes of disappointment. Then, I went out that same hour and bought an entire boy wardrobe. I felt absolutely guilty, like I was a horrible parent for getting hopes set so high on a little girl. I feel like I have to apologize daily to this fetus about being such a jerk.. But some of the responses I read above just send chills down my spine. Get your priorities in order, ladies. Please. I just spent the day at an awards ceremony watching students graduate who were deaf or in wheelchairs. Coming home and reading this is totally repulsive. If this thought is going to occupy your time for the next 9 months then maybe you should find a hobby.

You have to be kidding me.  I have had 3 chemical pregnancies.  I worry about this baby, and my daughter NON stop.  I have been treated for anxiety after I had Sage because I worried about here NON stop.  Health is the most important thing to me.  I assumed that was implied.  If you spent one hour with me in real life you would realize I NEVER stop worrying about both of my babies.  I was taking SO many vitamins with Sage ( suggestion of my high risk OB) my surgeon took me off vitamin D because my levels were off the charts. 

When I was 20 weeks pregnant with Sage the informed me my uterus wasn't getting enough blood flow and I had to be on aspirin for months.  Sage was born with a hole in her heart and sleep apnea.  She STILL sleeps with a motion sensor pad under her crib.  I am that nervous.  I had later been diagnosed with IUGR with her.

And if I remember correctly YOU were disappointed you weren't having a girl.  No one jumped down your throat.  I am always thinking about these girls who cant get pregnant (or have a hard time) , Holly, Cathie, Mayrn.  just to name a few!

Anyway I really dont care what you think of me, I was just wondering how other people dealt with it.  Because things like this are real.  I will love my son/daughter/whatever with all my heart.

So just be happy you are pregnant and concentrate on that. Making a post about gender disappointment at 4 weeks is a bit ridiculous. Also offensive considering the amount of ladies here who are hoping for a BFP every month....and every month after that. Yeah I just admitted I was disappointed at my ultrasound but it lasted 2 minutes...nowhere did I say I went home and bawled or refused to buy anything my baby needed after the fact. Those kind of reactions need therapy. If you are this stressed and anxious now at 1 month, you will have a very difficult pregnancy ahead of you. The best thing you can do is concentrate on eating right, taking your vites and remaining calm. HTH, 

how is it a bit ridiculous?... its a real feeling many have had.. including you... it lasted way more 2 mins... i remember posts about "coming to term with it"... and do you really think i need therapy because i didnt buy her anything until 30 weeks? thats great.. because i think you need some to... you seem to be VERY angry at life... maybe it was the fact that my cervix was ALREADY short at 20 weeks... it was ALREADY dialiating at 28 weeks.. maybe... just maybe... i was worried to buy something until i knew she would survive... because lets face it... how many babies make it out of being 24 weeks... 1 out of 2... 28 weeks? meah.. some what better...not my brother... he didnt make it... so again if i need head therapy because i "Refused to buy her anything that she needed" then thats your thinking... but sometimes your thinking and wording of things is beyond ****** up... you dont have a kosher life.. and im sure that you will feel like a jerk for a long time for being at all upset because you wanted a girl soooo bad and even went out and bought stuff before you even knew the sex of your child... that seems a bit ridiculous to me as well... maybe we can all sit together in a group therapy session around a bon fire.. you included.

What you described is not normal, sorry. Crying for weeks about a certain gender is not normal. A period of shock and brief diappointment is normal. Did I say anywhere I was crying for weeks or refused to buy anything? No...YOU did. I went shopping within an hour and came to terms with it.
Please do not have 3 kids out of wedlock at your early 20s, cry about their genders, and try  tell someone that THEY don't have a kosher life and have a f'd up way of thinking.  Oh I'm sorry, was that judgemental??
Again, she didn't make a post saying she was worried about it's health. She made one worrying about if it's a a boy. This after posting almost daily about being desperate TTC, her periods, and losses. Get an F'n grip on reality or keep your legs closed.
Just keeping it real. Sorry I'm not ****ting rainbows and pots of gold for you :)

Wow. that was completely uncalled for.  I am have been on this board for 3 years and have never encountered anything like this.  you are not being honest, you are being a *****