New and Nervous

I am new to this thread although I have on occasion responded to others. I had gastric bypass March of 2010 and have succesfully lost 146 pounds. Since my surgery I have gotten divorced. That was not a shock as it was a very unhappy marriage and had been seperated since March of 2009. Anyway we had 2 children, my daughter will be 12 in a few weeks and my son...my baby is 4 and a half. He was meant to be forever my baby. I started seeing somebody last October, the only man that I had been with other then my ex husband since 1998. I was using the nuva ring but not really as birth control because I had not had sex since March of 2009 when I got seperated but rather in hopes of keeping my periods regular. Before my surgery I did not have a period for many many years and when it came back 2 month post op I was strangly excited. It was a sign of regaining my health and feeling like a woman again. Despite being on the nuva ring I was getting my period sometimes 2 times a month, even with the ring in and they were heavy and painful along with almost constant gas/cramping in my abdoman. I described this to my surgeon and he was convinced that it was GYN and not related to my surgery. I went to the GYN and after a trans vaginal ultrasound it came back as having a small cyst on my cervix and my ovary but nothing that alarmed them but just to follow up in 6 weeks. Fast forward to March of 2011. I now have a whole new set of doctors due to loosing and changing my health insurance. My new GYN insists of putting in the IUD to help control the bleeding and cramping. I dont want an IUD. After being out of control with mt weight for my entire life and really just feeling completely out of control with my life in general I was not willing to give up not having immediate control over my B/C. Its not like a pill where if I dont like it I just stop taking it but rather I have to have an appt and rely on another person to remove it. At this same time I also have a new surgeon that my old surgeon referred me to and after talking to him he tells me that his wife is a GYN and asked me if I would be interested in seeing her. I say sure and yesterday was my appointment. They did another transvaginal untrasound which showed thickening of the uterine linning and they want to do a biopsy to rule out cancer but she also says that the thickening could also be because of a pregnancy so they want to do a blood test to rule that out before doing the biopsy. They called today and I am in fact PREGNANT. It has not sunk in yet and doesnt seem real. I feel guilty for not being excited, especially since I see so many women struggling to conceive on here. The relationship that I have been in since October is one that I have wanted to end for a long time but havent and now I am having his kid. I am pissed that I am going to get bigger (baby belly) after working so hard to loose weight and be smaller. I really am terrified and dont know what to think. My labs have always been great besides low vit D. My multivitamin of choice since surgery has been a prenatal one so I am not really concerned about not having a healthy baby. But at this time in my life I am selfish and trying to do right by myself. Sorry for this long rant, this is a position that I never imagined myself in.

Your in a tuff situation with not being happy in your current relationship!  You seriously need to consider all your options and choose what is best for you!  Gaining weight is a huge concern for anyone that has lost a lot of weight but it can be done after having a baby!  Some woman don't even gain any weight and some continue to loose weight....others gain quite a bit.  Just take a little time and way out all your options and if you believe in God, Pray!  The right decision will come to you!  Best of luck!

First of all... congrats on such a fantastic weight loss in a year!  That's awesome!  And I get that this is a weird time and cir****tances for you to be pregnant.  No one but you can tell you what you should do and you shouldn't let anyone sway your decision either.  That being said, I do wish you the best in making whatever decision you feel is best for you.  I get that you want to be selfish and do things for yourself right now.  You ended a marriage that did not work for you and now you're also looking at a relationship that has not worked for you in some time as well.  You deserve some time for YOU.  You're just coming into the healthy you and you do get to celebrate life as the healthy and vibrant woman that you are.

Yes, many of us women on this board have been struggling to get pregnant (myself included.)  However, we are all individuals and have our own unique lives to live.  You get to chose what is right for you.  And whatever you do choose, trust yourself.

I can understand some of where you are coming from. I was just getting to goal when I found out I was pregnant. Just getting into those skinny jeans I was dreaming about. On top of that I was in a "relationship" that was more about just having fun than anything that was going to be serious. I attempted to make the relationship work but I know myself and I know I was not happy. After a marriage that lasted longer than the happiness I knew enough to end it.

I had wanted a baby for years and years so regardless of a relationship I was keeping my baby. But I did go through emotional rollercoasters when the weight came back. I cried when I hit 200 again. I am having my baby Liam next week and I have gained 35lbs. Not that bad for pregnancy but it is almost 50% of the weight I lost to begin with. That hurts. I keep doing the baby math of how much will I lose once I have him.

My point with all this is to let you know you are not alone. This group helps each other out listening to rants and understanding where each other is coming from. I hope the forum and other support systems you have at home can help you through this.