Discouraged, looking for all the info I can get!

I started weaning off some psych meds a few months ago because I knew we were planning on TTC once I was a year post op and I wanted to do it slowly and safely before I got pregnant. All seemed to be going great until a few weeks ago when I began to spiral and have what's called rapid cycling. I'm Bipolar and have ups and downs that cycle frequently throughout the day. I've been managing and finding outlets that are healthy for the last few months and I am not sure what triggered this last episode of cycling. Now there's talk of the possibility of me having to go back on the meds which not only scares me but seemingly defeats the whole purpose of weaning off them in the first place. There's not very many psych meds that  are safe to take while pregnant, especially in the first three months when baby's development is the most vital. In doing some research I've learned more about what has been tried and what absolutely can not be taken. I don't feel comfortable taking anything but when it comes to my health and safety and that of my child I have to think realistically. I'm not pregnant yet and I hate feeling this urgency to get PG before I have no choice but to go back on meds. I've found a few studies and a few people who have taken Lamictal in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters and had perfectly healthy babies, but I don't want to get PG and already be on it because of the risk it may pose to the fetus! It's one of the very few that I've found any safe info on the other I can't take because it has the opposite effect on me. I'm in weekly therapy and doing whatever I can to maintain stability but I feel like I'm slipping fast and I don't know what to do. Part of me feels like I have to give up my dream of being a mom so that I don't go off the deep end and put the baby in danger, then part of me feels guilty for wanting a baby so bad when this is something that could affect my children. I have a really good support system but the reality is there's a chemical imbalance that can and will affect my choice to have kids. I feel like I've busted my butt for the last year to get healthy, lose weight, get off most of my meds only to watch the biggest reasons I did it all go down the toilet! 

Hi. Are you working with a doctor who is advising you? One that specializes in theraputic meds, not just a family doctor. They will know what is safe and what is not.
You want to be on something class B, ideally. They have been proven safe during pregnancy.
Class C meds have not been proven safe or unsafe one way or another, only because there are limited ethical ways of monitoring use on pregnant women. Some studies on pregnant lab animals have shown abnormalities on *some* of the babies (but we are talking about rats, not humans). Some class c meds are given during pregnancy if clearly needed or when the benefits outweigh the risks. Wellbutrin is a prime example of a class C med that is given frequently to pregnant women. You may want to look into it more if no one can find anything more suitable.
I know what you are going through. I have severe clinical depression and had to be weaned slowly off of a med, then gradually put on Prozac. It was harsh.
Good luck.

Thank you for replying. Yes, I'm working with both my therapist and my psychiatrist on this and wouldn't do it without their guidance. We wanted to see how I faired without the meds while TTC but ALL of my Dr's have been keeping a close eye on me and have my husband watching for warning signs. I was kept on Prozac as it's known to be ok. Lamictal and some first generation mood stabilizers such as Lithium have been used in humans with good results. A friend of mine, her  daughter took Lamictal throughout her pregnancy and both baby and mom are perfectly healthy. Everyone reacts to these meds differently, I've taken Lithium and it's made my condition worse and there's no guarantee that Lamictal will work although it's been brought up many times in studies and by my psych Dr. I have an appointment with him Tuesday and will see if I can't get more detailed info about his professional experience with this situation. I see a lot of studies done on Rats but as you said they aren't humans. I came across a blog of a young lady who has taken Lamictal while pregnant and had a good outcome but it seems to have gone cold as there aren't any newer posts.
OB has me on extra folic acid and Iron, Primary is keeping a good eye on my blood work, and my therapist is working with me and my psych so that I can have a positive outcome. It's frustrating because psych Dr. thinks I'll use pregnancy as an excuse to not maintain treatment. Psych care in this town is minimal and not the best quality. The center I go to cycles out Drs every 6-8 months so there's no real consistency but every other Dr. in town isn't taking new patients so I have to work with one while I have one.
I'm hearing these commercials or warnings about Prozac not being safe, I don't put much stock in those but it does have me thinking.

Thanks Again and I'm hoping all is well with your little boy and you!

http://www.epigee.org/mental_health/meds_pregnancy.html interesting article.
Prozac is a class B drug. I have been on it for a year. I just had an anatomy scan (90 min high-def ultrasound) and everything looks perfect. They measured all the organs and bones, and so far everything is perfect.
I hope you find something to help :)

Thanks for the article! 

Although I don't know that I have any 'medical' advice or information,  I do have words of encouragement.  The road is always paved with things that cause bumps and bruises.  I am sure you are truely dedicated to getting to your goal and working with your doctors is going to be the best thing I think you can do.

You will get there... I'm sorry you are going through this and hugs and healing energy to you.