trying to not be judgmental...

and my reply wasn't meant to be argumentative...I just read it back and realize it seems that way.
I guess this topic just really "grinds my gears" lol

your right... i DO make jokes about mother hood.. my 2 yoa told me yest that im heavy but its ok because hes strong... great.. he thinks im fat LOLjaylyn ate my coupons this morning... and my fi****hought was dead .. is in fact alive and keeps swimming back into the toilet making squeeking noises at me... im sure it will come back as a ghost fish and slap me with it tail tonight...i would never make a joke to someone about my kids or even talk about them really to someone who is having a hard time... just like i dont want someone to bash people who get pregnant easy to me... it goes both ways

Ok first off, im going to sound like a witch. Yep your being judgemental. Big time. Baby envy to the highest extreme. I had my 4th, a MASSIVE OH HOLY CRAP THIS COULDNT BE HAPPENING TO ME, BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS ME AND IM NOT SURPRISED!!!BRING IT ON!!! to top it off, he was born with a genetic blood disorder.

A cliff? Seriously? HA! thats nothing!! I wanted a whole slew of things to do!! SCARED ****LESS!!! WHY?!?! I just had a panni done, February 16, 2010...Got pregnant on April 15...I was on BC condom used pulled out and safe time...oops. He was hell bent on getting here, and yes he was my tax deduction and made it just in time! :P I have smartasses as friends, hell im the biggest one there is!!! The day I found out, first thing i told my friend, Damn I need a drink! CRAP!! CANT!!!! (lol) THEN the worry set in seems how i just had that surgery done, had massive drain tubes in that fell out right before the big night, and i had stitches still in that hadnt dissolved. NOT TO MENTION, i had scar tissue already forming from where i had the excessive fluid. I am sure you SIL only told people on facebook all at one time so there would be non of the "you told so and so first why not us?". Facebook I figure, hit em all at the sametime. P.s. I told my friend to kill me now....i for one, hate pregnancy only perk i get out of it feeling them move and kick and play. Could go without the bouncy games on the bladder or a head pushed up into your lungs, or the spontaneous reaction of kick just right and puking without thinking....

NOW, why wouldnt i get pregnant right? Hell i got knocked up 9weeks postpartum with number 3. ONE step better, FIRST TIME WE HAD SEX since #2 was born!! The joke is this, I only get pregnant when I have been drinking...am i an alcoholic? Nope, went out to eat at a restaurant those nights, respectfully my kids should be named, jose, jack, morgan, and So/Co or OJ. Call me childish call me petty. When I tell people that i was pregnant, i held back with #2 cuz my SIL couldnt get pregnant or they were trying to figure out why. (PCOS).

Then there was another on going inside j0ke amongst our friends, this baby was going to make our other kids look like angels...(so far so good actually). You have to laugh at life, especially when little curve balls are thrown in. As for nursing school should be oh so fun? Try massage therapy now that was fun!!! NOT!!!! On your feet all night, trying to stay awake during class, hoping to god you dont puke with all the essential oils around and especially when SeaWeed wraps were going on...did i get pampered oh hell no!! cuz i will toot my horn, they wanted me to do them!!( i didnt care i loved what i do).

I will hate to say this, when you do get pregnant i have a feeling it will be sooner than later, YOU will see the humor in motherhood. YOU HAVE TO HAVE a sense of humor when your a mom!! the days where you just get ready to walk out the door and one of em decides they are going to puke all over, or you hae them dressed ready to go and you hop in the shower and one flops down in the tub with you, fully clothed...Or the idol threats of going to the ER 730;pm at night and FINALLY being seen at 11:30pm telling youj they want to keep for observation but dont have room but you are going to DRIVE 2.5hrs to the nearest hospital with a PICU for just in case on the way down we were hungry to beat hell, we had a family we knew still up at NICU and they rushed down to the cafeteria to get us some food and met us on the floor with the yummy muffins fresh out of the oven. Why is that a big deal? basically lived off those puppies when we were there. The same hospital where he was for 2 weeks in the NICU 17hrs after he was born. 
 
How about the first time I changed his diaper it took two of us to do it? Me and his aunt, she has a baby boy and this is my 3rd one, you would think we would learn nope. He peed on us, even after we both made the comment about him being "locked and loaded and taking aim"...we had to strip his isolete down and replace EVERYTHING, I meand EVERYTHING!!! all we did was laugh. When the monitors would go off, we didnt freak out with the other babies that would go off, it was "uhoh someones being naughty!!! (you would think it would be the boys, nope mostly the girls were naughty!) 

 When you do have your baby, you will see the humor, and how you have to find the funny side of motherhood why? Cause if you dont, you will go insane!!  As for the curse? Like I say you have to make light of the situation or your going to be in trouble. I worked as a candler during this last prgnancy, I was constantly being picked on about going into labor and if there was back log on eggs on the conveyor said it would be my belly holding the line up. did i take offense NOPE!!! Cuz it was funny. If my water broke on the line in a STERILE area, i just might as well deliver there cuz its cleaner than a hospital room.

I am sorry if I am soundy preachy and rambling, honestly, until you have been in the shoes, you really cant judge. sorry, its the truth. Honestly, I cant stand people that dont have children yet or been pregnant and judge us on how we act when we are pregnant. I am sure tho, that your family will be thrilled to beat hell!! Hey at least you know you can get some great help from the SIL. She will probably be your biggest cheerleader when it happens. Each time a woman is pregnant 1st 2nd or 19th, we are scared crapless. What seems little and petty to some, it means a great deal to a mom to be or an experience mom. Kids know too that yes they were oopsies but they were welcomed oopsies and were given to us for a reason, they are a gift. Congrats!! on becoming an aunt! I am so excited for my brother and his girflfriend they are expecting their 1st in nov. =) finally im an aunt! i get to spoil and send home!!! pay him back for tormenting me when we were little...(oh sweet revenge)

as for people who cant have children it is no laughing matter. We as people do try to make light remarks, for some people thats their way of dealing with things. My grandma always told me that when you are sad, upset, worried scarred think of something funny. Funeral for my brother, all i could think was "i hope they put his underwear on cuz he hates to go free" (why he zipped something one time when he had no undies and he learned his lesson). from that i started to cry not from sadness but from the happiness of having him in our lives...i was the only who knew why he didnt like to "free ball". something a sister should never know...lol

So, instead of being mad as to what how she is sounding, just think, i cant wait to be able to say those samethings. Besides good things come to those who wait.

exactly, I am a firm believer in that motto..."good things come to those who wait"

thank you

She has obviously never suffered with infertility in her life. It makes me mad when people make light of having children, thats the most precious gift God can give us, and it sucks when people toss it likes its a huge burden. If she didnt want any more she should have been more careful! Ugh....

Now matter how "prepared and precaution" you take, things happen. HELLO!!!! I did FOUR methods and still got pregnant. If its meant to be, its meant to be. who said she was making light of having children? You make it sound like its a job. So, what do you do at your work place to keep stress down? You make light of the situation, eases peoples tension etc...what is motherhood? the best paid job there is. Hugs and Kisses and I love yous for payment. i tell you what, nothing says "Love" when a child pukes all over you, or poops, pees, last minute "mom i need this for school!" When is that? "oh tomorrow" get out the paper scissors glue and glitter....how long has he known about it? 2months....how i love science fair projects....

Another thing, i envy those who dont have children yet....when you have clean sheet night you get to enjoy it....in my house it last MAYBE an hour if im lucky....baby spit up, kids cookies crumbs, toys, you have to move around before you can even think of laying down. OH and ENJOY those showers and baths and the ability to know what shaved legs feel like....(can someone PLEASE tell me how that feels? i cant remember....) PLUS!!!! you get to sleep. enjoy it.

On April 28, 2011 at 10:03 AM Pacific Time, harleymama31 wrote: On April 28, 2011 at 9:37 AM Pacific Time, boomsheeka01 wrote: She has obviously never suffered with infertility in her life. It makes me mad when people make light of having children, thats the most precious gift God can give us, and it sucks when people toss it likes its a huge burden. If she didnt want any more she should have been more careful! Ugh.... Now matter how "prepared and precaution" you take, things happen. HELLO!!!! I did FOUR methods and still got pregnant. If its meant to be, its meant to be. who said she was making light of having children? You make it sound like its a job. So, what do you do at your work place to keep stress down? You make light of the situation, eases peoples tension etc...what is motherhood? the best paid job there is. Hugs and Kisses and I love yous for payment. i tell you what, nothing says "Love" when a child pukes all over you, or poops, pees, last minute "mom i need this for school!" When is that? "oh tomorrow" get out the paper scissors glue and glitter....how long has he known about it? 2months....how i love science fair projects....

Another thing, i envy those who dont have children yet....when you have clean sheet night you get to enjoy it....in my house it last MAYBE an hour if im lucky....baby spit up, kids cookies crumbs, toys, you have to move around before you can even think of laying down. OH and ENJOY those showers and baths and the ability to know what shaved legs feel like....(can someone PLEASE tell me how that feels? i cant remember....) PLUS!!!! you get to sleep. enjoy it. Your last paragraph...is just...just exactly what you should NEVER to say to an infertile person.  Actually, there is some more intertwined in some of your other comments too.




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I understand you envy someone who doesn't have kids...but you made the decision to have kids, so that envy comes from your own actions.  I have been trying to get pregnant and stay pregnant for nearly 5 years now.  I would give MY LEFT TIT to switch places with you.  Yep, my left TIT.  So, yes, I am jealous of you.  However, for me, it is nothing of my own doing that puts me in a situation that makes me envious.

I have to shave my legs and often.  Want to know why?  Not for my husband...for my reproductive endocrinologist that needs to get all up in my junk several times a month.  

Oh, and sleep?  No baby does not equal sleep.  I am one of the worse insomniacs you'll find...and half of the time it is due to the hormones I am having to take.

So, appreciate your position or don't, that is up to you.  But, DO NOT tell me that I should relish the fact that I have been unable to get and stay pregnant.

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To the OP, the woman sounds like a douchebag.  Sorry, she just does.  I understand a little joke, but to go on and on?

thank you Ann...I was about to reply to her with something along the same lines.  There are women who would kill to trade places with her, but I guess its just as the old saying, "the grass is always greener on the other side".   Her 1st few replies were understandable but now I'm getting the feeling that we should feel bad for her for some reason?  When women act/talk like that, its extremely irritating (hello, Kate +8)...if you can't handle being a mother, stop reproducing...children are NOT suppose to be burdens which was my point from the get go!

Sorry, but just b/c someone suffered though infertility does not mean that they lose their sense of humor. When I found out about our little surprise I was thrilled, but joked that I might find a bus and toss myself in front of it, not b/c I felt burdened by the baby or the situation but just b/c that is the way I am. The pregnancy was a shock after years of infertility, he was a blessing and we where happy about it, but I was scared and overwhelmed and the way I choose to deal with those feelings is humor. 

It sounds much like what the OP's sister in law was shooting for too, a funny, goofy way to tell people about her "surprise".