Should I leave my DH alone? Or should I keep asking?
When we first started dating, I asked him what is background was and he said he was a Caucasian Mutt (his words). He said he had no clue what anyone was in his family. His bioiogical dad died when he was 8 and was not part of his life when he was alive. His mom is not much help either. He has always had a darker complexion than most of his friends and has jet black hair and brown eyes. I knew I was Black, but I have a lot of American Indian and Irish blood in my lineage. No big woop, I thought at the time.
Well, I had to fill out paperwork for my genetic testing and I told my husband that I stated he was not Jewish or French and that he didn't know his ancestory other than being White. He turns around and says "I'm Italian". I asked where that came from and he said he's always known that. I asked why he never told me and he said "I don't know". So, now he's mad because I'm asking him a thousand questions about his family and background.
I don't care what he is, I never did. However, when you get a 4 page questionaire asking about the genetic family history of both mom and dad and I have nothing from his side, I think I have the right to at least ask if he knows anything else. CF, MS, diabetes, blood type and the whole 9 yards.
Do you think I have a right to ask this now? Or should I just leave him alone?
Well, I had to fill out paperwork for my genetic testing and I told my husband that I stated he was not Jewish or French and that he didn't know his ancestory other than being White. He turns around and says "I'm Italian". I asked where that came from and he said he's always known that. I asked why he never told me and he said "I don't know". So, now he's mad because I'm asking him a thousand questions about his family and background.
I don't care what he is, I never did. However, when you get a 4 page questionaire asking about the genetic family history of both mom and dad and I have nothing from his side, I think I have the right to at least ask if he knows anything else. CF, MS, diabetes, blood type and the whole 9 yards.
Do you think I have a right to ask this now? Or should I just leave him alone?
For the medical part - if he knows, you should know...the CF, MS, diabetes, etc - even the blood type...if you're positive and he's negative - or vice versa - the drs need to know that for the Rh shots. If the baby has the opposite of you, then it could cause problems in future pregnancies.
For the ethnic heritage...yeah, I'd think you have a right to know...but more than that...I'd be wanting to know why he felt the need to hide it or gets upset if you ask. Sounds strange, but that could just be me. It's not like it really matters to you...you married the man, I presume you love him regardless...and someday your child's probably going to want to know too, not to mention there are any diseases that are more prevalent in some races etc...ie sickle cell disease for African/Americans, Taysach's disease for Jewish and/or Middle Eastern heritage.
For the ethnic heritage...yeah, I'd think you have a right to know...but more than that...I'd be wanting to know why he felt the need to hide it or gets upset if you ask. Sounds strange, but that could just be me. It's not like it really matters to you...you married the man, I presume you love him regardless...and someday your child's probably going to want to know too, not to mention there are any diseases that are more prevalent in some races etc...ie sickle cell disease for African/Americans, Taysach's disease for Jewish and/or Middle Eastern heritage.
Holly
January 2008,
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Mom to Khaled
I can see his perspective of be annoyed with the questioning now because it was never an issue. But I also see your perspective since you are asking for the genetic background of your baby. Just explain that to him. It's part of the background information that is requested for the genetic testing of the baby and that you personally do not care. No matter what his background is, you chose him to spend the rest of your life with and start a family with. Remind him of that and I hopefully he'll understand.
Our little miracle baby boy is on his way!
On April 19, 2011 at 12:10 PM Pacific Time, chelle614 wrote:
Just hand him the papers to fill out if he is being a PITA.
RNY-7/22/2010-Highest weight 315 / Surgery weight 280 / Current weight 186
1st Goal weight 199~"one"derland-REACHED! 2nd Goal weight 180~-TO BE CONTINUED!
1st 5K: 29.48-5/19/2011
2nd 5K: 26.47-7/16/2011 
1st Goal weight 199~"one"derland-REACHED! 2nd Goal weight 180~-TO BE CONTINUED!
1st 5K: 29.48-5/19/2011
2nd 5K: 26.47-7/16/2011 If I could I would, but I get the forms when I show up for appointments and he's not available until May to go with me.
If his mom wasn't sick, I would call her and ask her all my questions but that would be too taxing on her. He's the only one I can ask. His ethnic background is of no concern to me. Our child might ask one day and he will have to be prepared for that. I just want to know about the health. He wasn't close to his dad but he is Facebook friends with his dad's sister. I suggested he ask her and he blew me off. He has a half sister, but she is in the same predicament because they shared a dad.
Blood type is at least not an issue. I'm O+ so i dont' need Rhogam, even if he's negative.
If his mom wasn't sick, I would call her and ask her all my questions but that would be too taxing on her. He's the only one I can ask. His ethnic background is of no concern to me. Our child might ask one day and he will have to be prepared for that. I just want to know about the health. He wasn't close to his dad but he is Facebook friends with his dad's sister. I suggested he ask her and he blew me off. He has a half sister, but she is in the same predicament because they shared a dad.
Blood type is at least not an issue. I'm O+ so i dont' need Rhogam, even if he's negative.
Tell him he needs to stop being a drama queen and grow up before the baby comes. I cannot understand why someone would be so hostile when being asked these questions for the baby's benefit. If he has a problem with you asking him, tell him he is more than welcome to take the day off work and go to the Dr's to fill the damn papers out.
Ridiculous @@
Ridiculous @@
M/C 10/18/10 9w2d...forever loved
It's a boy!
He's a full time student and attendance is pretty strick with the program he's in. We're still working out what will happen this fall when I deliver. If I deliver on a test day, they may not let him make up the test unless the school dean grants him a waiver. So, I don't knock him for not attending appointments. We're paying $20,000 a year for the next 3.5 years...he better go to school! lol 
But I do agree that since he knows he can't make the appointments he should be more willing to answer my questions. I'm gonna sit down with him next week to talk about this. Next week because he is in the middle of a test block and his last test is Tuesday. I probably won't see him until the weekend if at all before next Tuesday because of all the studying. I'm shocked we got pregnant in the 1st place.
Making my list of questions that I most need the answers to now.
But I do agree that since he knows he can't make the appointments he should be more willing to answer my questions. I'm gonna sit down with him next week to talk about this. Next week because he is in the middle of a test block and his last test is Tuesday. I probably won't see him until the weekend if at all before next Tuesday because of all the studying. I'm shocked we got pregnant in the 1st place.
Making my list of questions that I most need the answers to now.
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