Team pink!

she strikes again! why are you so mean and angry at the world? THIS IS A SUPPORT FORUM!!!!

Im not mean or angry at the world. I have an issue with WLS patients getting pregnant right off the bat (like yourself) and then coming on here trying to bullsh*t the world with excuses. Weren't you the one who said you had unprotected sex ONCE in a month while on 2 forms of BC....and miraculously got pregnant? Please. Just admit you F'd up and ask for help. And I consider that to be sticking around here and giving support to others who need it.

Chelle -

Maybe you and I have different ideas what this board is about. 

I agree with you 100% that intentionally getting pregnant early out from WLS is not the brightest thing to do.  I'm right there with you in flat out telling people who come on here asking why they should listen to their dr about waiting the 12-18 months that's recommended that their dr knows what's best for them and/or their future children.

Hell, I'll even back you up sometimes when you call bull**** on someone's claims at using 10 different types of birth control - almost up to and including abstinence - and they still end up pregnant. 

Despite all of that...the end result is...these women are pregnant and they're scared.  They're also just as deserving of all the support the rest of us get and give on here.  This is a 'Pregnancy After WLS Support Forum,' not a 'Pregnancy After a Sufficient Amount of Time Following WLS Support Forum,' nor is it a 'Pregnancy After WLS Support Forum for Those Deemed Worthy.' 

As for mocking someone who was asking for reassurance that they were not having a miscarriage - no matter how trivial YOU found the cir****tances making them think that...thanks for letting me know not to come to you for reassurance if I ever manage to get pregnant again and think I may be miscarrying. 

I have tried to chalk up some of your harshness spewing out of your keyboard to hormones and/or stress going on in your life right now - and you do have a lot going on with the issues with your daughter that I hope you work out in a way that's best for her - but I personally think you are way out of line with some of the comments you're making. 

Holly, I really like you and respect you a lot. We just have to agree to disagree on this one. The issues I have with these two women have nothing to do with my daughter or her problems though. I feel kinda used when people sail in and out, asking serious medical questions and then don't come back to update or even acknowlege the support they've been given. Especially when I type out a reply to each and every one of their posts because I am concerned for the sake of their child. Which is why I peeked at her "blog" (which was public" at the time) and totally appalled at the information SHE put out about herself. Total downright abuse of her body and no concern for the baby she is carrying (while losing 100lbs, nonthless).  Maybe if you had seen what she wrote you would feel a little differently. I would never blow off anyones miscarriage concerns but her posts and attitude really rub me the wrong way. It still blows my mind that I did everything "right" during my pregnancy with my daughter...yet she still has disabilities....and women like this are clearly made aware of the dangers of pregnancy while losing massive amounts of weight...yet still exibits barely any concern to their prenatal care or general health. So as a parent who will be bathing my kid every night and spending a fortune on her medical care for the rest of my life....I take offense to people like this. Sorry.

I have never had any major issues with you before Chelle.  Normally, I enjoy your posts.  I think you've got an amazing strength that I admire.  It's unfortunate you've had to garner that strength to fight the battles for your daughter, but she's lucky to have you fighting on her side.

We will agree to disagree.  I learned years ago that the world is full of people who are going to get what they want/need out of me w/o stopping to thank me.  It's something I've learned to deal with and move on.  If it makes it easier for you, when you give advice or responses to posts, look at it as giving to charity.  Do you give money to charity with the expectation that you deserve a thank you?  Or do you do it because someone needed help?  

There are plenty of others on this board whom I could name who have done the same thing you're ripping into Tracy327 and Ebonyeyes for...not acknowledging what was said and/or not providing follow up.  Yeah, sometimes I'd like to know the outcome...but in all honesty...it's not really my business.  It's great when people share the outcome...but it's not a requirement for me to respond.

Whatever Ebonyeyes' blog was regarding what she eats...Even if I read it, I doubt I'd get offended by it.  Sad maybe that she hasn't 'got it' regarding the WLS, but not offended.  Chances are high that each and every one of us on here have or had eating issues - whether it's food addiction or emotional eating or whatever.  Because she's so close out from surgery, she never got a chance to mentally adjust to a new way of eating.  I don't know about you and whatever 'caused' your weight problems...but I am an emotional eater...and Ebonyeyes could be too.  Stress and worry are emotions...and cause unhealthy eating in many of us.  Doesn't matter if she just had surgery...she just had surgery and just found out she's pg and is a worrier.  Bad combination if she's an emotional eater, because her emotions are going to be off the charts.  Could she make healthier choices?  Probably.  Could YOU make better choices?  Probably.  Could I make better choices  Definitely.  Does that make any of us a bad person?  No.  It makes us human.  I'm pretty sure that all the eating and lack of physical activity all of us experienced in order to get obese in the first place qualifies as abuse of our body.  I'm also pretty sure that we weren't magically 'cured' of whatever caused us to 'abuse' our bodies just because of WLS. 

Regarding never 'blowing off someone's miscarriage,' again, we'll agree to disagree on what was said - or how I interpret it.

It is tragic that you did everything 'right' with your pregnancy and yet you still ended up having a child with disabilities.  It's a tragedy when anyone has a baby born with disabilities. And it is mind blowing when someone can do all sorts of horrible things during pregnancy and turn around and have a perfectly healthy baby.   Taking your frustrations at the unfairness of it all out on someone whom you believe to not be doing 'everything right,' though, will not solve anything.  If Ebonyeyes had come on here saying she was a drug addict and/or alcoholic and not doing anything about it...I'd hold her down while you kicked her in the ass (theoretically speaking, of course)...but she didn't say or do anything that bad.  She got pregnant too early.  She's getting pre-natal care and taking her vits.  She may (or may not) eat what you consider the healthiest foods, but that's between her and her dr.   She's still entitled to come here with questions and/or to post updates on her pregnancy.  If it offends you that much...block her - and every other early out pregnant poster.  Let them sink or swim, and you'll never need to know whether or not you could have helped with an issue they were having with their pregnancy, whether it was a result of being pregnant too early out, or if it was something out of anyone's control.


Chelle, as I stated above, I normally enjoy your posts.  They're usually supportive, funny and spot on.  Your responses to Tracy and Ebonyeyes though...they leave a bad taste in my mouth.  They come off as mean, rude and hurtful...and I hate to see this board brought to that level.

It's not my job to be "nice' to anyone who knowingly slacks off on their baby's health. If you want to hold her hand and guide her while she brags online about not taking care of herself...well that is up to you. I refuse to be polite or politically correct to anyone who is risking their baby's development for their own selfish needs and wants. Mind you, this after I was supportive and helpful on all her previous posts from day one.
My issue isn't that she got pregnant 3 weeks out....it's what she is doing now. Don't ask for advice if you have no interest in taking it. Hell, don't DEMAND medical advice from internet strangers when you should be driving yourself to the ER instead.
Seriously, if I came on here acting an ass and putting my baby at risk I would hope someone would call me out on it.

There are people on this board who have had their babies...don't like or trust their pedi's instructions (instructions that made perfect sense) and come to the Medical School of the Internet for counter instructions.  One person in specific was told by the board - numerous times - to follow the dr's advice and not to do what she said she wanted to do...and then proceeded to do whatever the **** she want to do, which ended up causing temporary harm to her baby.  Her child also has another problem which she was given advice on as to what it could be and advised to mention it to her pedi - and she's done jack **** about it. 

I don't recall seeing you all over this person's ass...and she was laughing and shrugging off the fact she'd done something that had made her child sick.

Ebonyeyes may - or may not - be eating the healthiest foods for herself or for her baby...but she's eating (which many early-out pregnant women even have trouble doing that) and she's taking her vits and she's getting pre-natal care.  The biggest problem for early outs, to the best of my knowledge, is if they're in ketosis and can't get out of it, itcan effect the development of the baby.  If she's eating junk - then she's not in ketosis...so even if she's losing weight, her baby's not going to suffer from the side effects of ketosis.  If she's taking her vits and getting her labs done, the dr will know if there are other deficiencies that need addressed before they become a problem...so I highly doubt that her baby is facing developmental problems. 

Seriously, if I came on here acting an ass and putting my baby at risk I would hope someone would call me out on it.

You're absolutely right on the above.  Apparently, though, we come from different schools of thinking.  I think someone's more likely to listen to your ass kicking advice if you haven't alienated them by being rude and hurtful.  You apply the 'sledge hammer upside the head' methodology, which I tend to think turns people off.

Do you really think Ebonyeyes - or any other early out pregnant woman reading your posts - will take advice from someone who's rude and nasty because someone didn't acknowledge and thank you for your advice?  And just because you give the advice...that doesn't come with a requirement to take the advice.  Advice is just a suggestion of what could/should be done...it's not a mandate.

I don't know who you are talking about in the beginning of your post. And you know I have been blunt before with people.
And, I said this before, but we just have to disagree on this subject. If you read the same blog I did a few days ago from this woman (who you are desperately trying to make out to be a poor uninformed soul) then I'm sure we wouldn't be having this discussion. If you are reading it now and don't see what I am referring to, then I guarantee she either deleted it or re-worded it. Anyway, this is not my problem and persisting your point of view will not change anything I feel about pregnant women who knowingly take crappy care of themselves while they are already a high-risk case. Sorry. We're obviously on two different planets here.

Congrats on being on the pink team.  I hope the rest of your pregnancy is healthy and happy.