Help me NOT kill someone tonight! OT
Today my daughter's teacher called and said the bus driver (she goes on a minivan with 2 other kids, a monitor, and a driver) reported to her that there was some "innapropriate behavior" going on between my daughter and another boy (same age) on the bus this morning. Trip takes 30 minutes.
FYI, all 3 kids have autism or some sort of developmental disability.
Teacher says the driver would not elaborate because they needed to make an official report. I got her off the bus this afternoon and looked right at the driver and bus monitor. My kid was sitting in the backseat with the older boy. Monitor was siting in the middle seat with the other female student. I looked right at them and they didn't say anything. I did not want to say anything to them in front of the kids even though I was fuming.
So I asked Courtney what happened on the bus this morning. She says "Michael' was trying to put his hand down her pants. And kept pulling on her underwear. Then he was putting his hand inside her bra. Umm....where the hell was the bus monitor? Anyway, I interrogated her a bunch of different times and a bunch of different ways, and the story was all the same. So why the heck were they both sitting in the backseat together again?
Anyway, I talked to her (again) about good and bad touching. She just doesn't seem to get it though. I can see this happening on a bigger schoolbus, but NOT a minivan that only has 5 people in it (2 of them adults)
My husband is a sergeant and is looking into possible filing a report with the police, for neglect on bus company. I am afraid of losing it tomorrow morning when they come pick her up.
Sorry for all the grossness, i just had to vent and didn't know where else to turn. We are all flipping here :(
FYI, all 3 kids have autism or some sort of developmental disability.
Teacher says the driver would not elaborate because they needed to make an official report. I got her off the bus this afternoon and looked right at the driver and bus monitor. My kid was sitting in the backseat with the older boy. Monitor was siting in the middle seat with the other female student. I looked right at them and they didn't say anything. I did not want to say anything to them in front of the kids even though I was fuming.
So I asked Courtney what happened on the bus this morning. She says "Michael' was trying to put his hand down her pants. And kept pulling on her underwear. Then he was putting his hand inside her bra. Umm....where the hell was the bus monitor? Anyway, I interrogated her a bunch of different times and a bunch of different ways, and the story was all the same. So why the heck were they both sitting in the backseat together again?
Anyway, I talked to her (again) about good and bad touching. She just doesn't seem to get it though. I can see this happening on a bigger schoolbus, but NOT a minivan that only has 5 people in it (2 of them adults)
My husband is a sergeant and is looking into possible filing a report with the police, for neglect on bus company. I am afraid of losing it tomorrow morning when they come pick her up.
Sorry for all the grossness, i just had to vent and didn't know where else to turn. We are all flipping here :(
That just blows my mind. That situation was completely mishandled by the bus adults. I hope they are reprimanded for this. Your daughter doesn't need to be exposed to this type of behaviour. I would be justy as livid if my daughters came home with a situation like this to tell me. So sorry you need to deal with this.
Sorry you're going through this Chelle - I've no experience with autistic kids, so feel free to throw my two cents out if it doesn't fit your needs -
IMO - You're absolutely right to be furious. If they've got one boy and two girls - and they know there's a problem with the boy - then they can put HIM next to the monitor and put the two girls together. I'd flat out tell them that in the morning - that they WILL put your daughter next to the other girl - and watch them do it. If the monitor doesn't want to sit next to the boy - probably because he's fast and lose with his hands with her too (yes...I know he has problems...but she can deal with it better than your daughter)...and she doesn't want to deal with it so puts him in the back row.
Stand your ground...and be firm when you meet at the school. Don't be nasty - people quit listening when you're nasty - but don't back down. You're the protection between your daughter and the world right now.
IMO - You're absolutely right to be furious. If they've got one boy and two girls - and they know there's a problem with the boy - then they can put HIM next to the monitor and put the two girls together. I'd flat out tell them that in the morning - that they WILL put your daughter next to the other girl - and watch them do it. If the monitor doesn't want to sit next to the boy - probably because he's fast and lose with his hands with her too (yes...I know he has problems...but she can deal with it better than your daughter)...and she doesn't want to deal with it so puts him in the back row.
Stand your ground...and be firm when you meet at the school. Don't be nasty - people quit listening when you're nasty - but don't back down. You're the protection between your daughter and the world right now.
Holly
January 2008,
July 2008
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July 2011
Mom to Khaled
This needs to reported immediately and thoroughly investigated. In our school district this would not only be investigated by the school but also by our school resource officer (police officer stationed in the school). You should have been notified immediately by the school and/or transportation office. Is it possible for you to take her to school tomorrow and talk to the principal? I would not put her back on the bus until this was looked into. It sounds like several people dropped the ball here. I work for a school district and if this happened where I work several people's jobs would be on the line right now.
Momma to Alex 1/08/2007
Oh Chelle honey! I'm so sorry this is happening. I know how frustrating your daughter's school has been for you lately. And I totally agree with Holly that you absolutely have a right to be pissed. And I think your DH should file a report. if the incident happened in the morning WTH was that van monitor doing allowing them to sit next to each other in the afternoon?!?!
Breathe, be *somewhat* nice, but do not back down. *hugs*
Breathe, be *somewhat* nice, but do not back down. *hugs*
you have every right to be angry! we are supposed to be able to trust that other adults are doing their jobs when it comes to schools/buses/the like. i swear, you did a lot better than i did. I probably would be in an 8x8 cell thinking about my actions. lol
Thats your baby, and shes only innocent once. I say go after that company and whoever you need to with a vengance to get the point across. LUCKILY nothing major happened yet....god forbid they "neglect to pay attention" for an entire trip!
I hope it all works out!
Thats your baby, and shes only innocent once. I say go after that company and whoever you need to with a vengance to get the point across. LUCKILY nothing major happened yet....god forbid they "neglect to pay attention" for an entire trip!
I hope it all works out!
First of all, I agree with the other ppl on this one. I am a School Bus Driver (large bus for 16.5 yrs) and I know for a fact that on a special needs vehicle the students should not be sitting together to start, I am sure there is no reason to be paired up at all (enough room on the vehicle to sit alone), and as for the monitor on the bus IT IS HER/HIS JOB to make sure this does not happen!!! That is why they ride the bus with the students, to watch (babysit) them, for emergency reasons (seizures, etc) Furthermore if there was a problem this morning, they should be separated far enough from one another from now on!!! As for the neglect on the bus company, carefully look at this one, I know that driving a school bus regardless of size and passenger count, it is very difficult to pay attention to the traffic, road conditions, passengers, all at the same time, don't get me wrong, I agree that the driver was not fully aware of what was going on, but all buses here in Canada are equiped with large Babysitting mirrors to keep an eye on the situation, and I know that to properly drive your eyes should be checking ALL mirrors (inside and out of the vehicle) every few seconds. This should have not been missed and the monitor should have been paying more attention to the students than yapping to the driver or applying her makeup!!! Maybe Michael should be the one sitting alone and the monitor should be sitting with or near both girls. Gah!!! So frustrating!!! I feel for you and your Family!!! I hope you get some answers and things get solved and maybe some people do need to be fired!!!
Sorry for my rant , that just makes me sick..... I drive a 72 passenger loaded (the bus not me...lol), with all ages 3.5-18ish and I have never had these problems The worst I ever had was a 13 yr old flash her titties at the cars behind, caught her bare chested (instead of red handed) and pulled the bus over and had the problem taken care of immediately. My High school kids get necking they get told to separate immediately and if they don't like it we will have a meeting with the school and their parents about the situation. Solves the problem quickly then I follow up with pink slips (behaviour report) immediately. Now the board of education and the school as well as the parents are informed.
GAH, I just keep getting madder......
Sorry for my rant , that just makes me sick..... I drive a 72 passenger loaded (the bus not me...lol), with all ages 3.5-18ish and I have never had these problems The worst I ever had was a 13 yr old flash her titties at the cars behind, caught her bare chested (instead of red handed) and pulled the bus over and had the problem taken care of immediately. My High school kids get necking they get told to separate immediately and if they don't like it we will have a meeting with the school and their parents about the situation. Solves the problem quickly then I follow up with pink slips (behaviour report) immediately. Now the board of education and the school as well as the parents are informed.
GAH, I just keep getting madder......
Thanks everyone for your kind words :) I do feel much better now.
We have an appt with the school tomorrow morning to discuss this and other matters. But tomorrow may be a snow day...so.....
These bus monitors get paid $17.00 per hour and need no schooling or degree. If they can't sit on a minivan for a few hours a day, babysitting 3 kids who are all within 5 feet of the "supervision" without messing it up, then I have a huge problem with that. They can go work at mcdonalds where no innocent kids are relying on them.
Thanks again for letting me vent!
We have an appt with the school tomorrow morning to discuss this and other matters. But tomorrow may be a snow day...so.....
These bus monitors get paid $17.00 per hour and need no schooling or degree. If they can't sit on a minivan for a few hours a day, babysitting 3 kids who are all within 5 feet of the "supervision" without messing it up, then I have a huge problem with that. They can go work at mcdonalds where no innocent kids are relying on them.
Thanks again for letting me vent!