Shower question....

Well not too long ago my MIL offered us money or a shower....we opted for the money (need a new washer and dryer as ours don't work). When we asked our 2 SIL to throw the shower, they were more than willing and excited! MIL said "oh you're doing it, I kind of already started planning it". So they offered to fund it while she takes over the planning. Fine and dandy! She absolutely refused to have it at someone's house because it's too much work, fine. THEN she asked about my guest list, I'm sorry, but We both have bigger families and some really good friends so the list was about 50 ppl to invite. Not expecting everyone to show as some are out of state and some people just can't/won't come. I figure it'll be around 35-40 ish. She told me about 15 times I need to make the guest list so much smaller because she's only expecting 18 (and she forgot to count my "lovely" stepmother and my stepsister. I have so far decided that the shower she's throwing can be just family and Suzy and I can just throw a friend one as a backyard bbq. I'm kind of thinkiing now that I'd rather just have one and do it myself (a few friends have offered to help). I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I don't want to have to do 2. We've had a party every year since we bought our house (including our housewarming and our reception) and it's worked well asking everyone to bring a chair! That way there's no chair rental. The reception had 70+ people too!!! This way there's only one set of invitations, no catering cost and we'll supply soda...etc and decorate the yard. I don't know. I feel like having just one would just be easier and with Suzy only having every other weekend off it would make planning soooo much easier!

So I guess my question is....
Do I have MIL cancel the one shower and just do it myself or just have the 2 and shut up about it? I'm not at all an ungrateful *****just so you know! She already put a deposit down for a restaurant. I love that she is being so supportive especially with the stepmother I have. My mom wants to come to both showers and she even offered her place for the friend one (she lives on a lake and just built a new house). I hate decisions! ;)

I would do both of them!  It sounds like your mom invested alot of time (and money already)!  Besides, 2 baby showers could be fun and more celebrating with family and friends!

i would also do 2

Though it's more work I would do the 2 as well! You'll get to have double the fun and one more "formal" for family and one more layed back as your bbq!

I know it seems like a pain in the royal ars...I would go with the 2. I had 2, but for different reasons and I was stressing about both of them as well, but they turned out nice and I ended up getting such nice stuff from just about everyone. Make the one your MIL is giving a family type shower with a more sophisticated feel and throw yourself a hootin hollerin party with friends :) But hey thats just my 2 cents....  :)

I had the same kind of thing happen...this is my 2nd baby..unplanned and my daughter will be 7, so my mom and sister wanted to ahve a shower for me. Ok right? So I give them the guest list and it creates all kinds of problems...they tell me to cut it down..almost impossible. So them my sister says, "You know its not usual to ahve a 2nd shower adn we were just trying to do something small and not cost alot of money for you" OK..THEY are the ones who brought it up and my husband got ticked and told them we would rent a hall and get it catered if need be.....we ended up having a small thing just to shut them up!

2 will be fun! I like the hootin hollerin idea! Thank you all! :)

If you Really don't want to do two, maybe you can all come to a compromise? Can you find a firehouse or room rental somewhere that holds a lot of people? Then some of your family can make a buffet. If it is important to you, maybe you can offer to pay for the room rental? I do understand the issues with limited space so maybe that truly is the concern with them. I love entertaining and cooking but we live in a tiny condo & have an anxiety attack thinking of more than 6 people here at a time :)
 If you have it a hall you can all save a ton of money by making pans of food yourself. Plus, the chair/tables will already be there and everyone will have a chance to mingle or sit with who they want..
Good luck!

Wow, I hope I never need to be involved in planning "my baby shower" . . .  I thought showers are supposed to be surprises!

I hope all just works out for you and you get the opportunity to relax and enjoy.

Best,
Leila

P.S. I like your idea of just throwing one casually.  All the rental, catering etc. just seems too stressful especially when it seems that you will be informed of every irritating detail.

(((BIG HUGS)))

LOL so NOT a fan of surprise baby showers. Pregnant women are already a big mess of hormones and sleep deprivation. I can't even count how many surprise showers I've been to where mom to be looked like she just rolled out of bed, wearing sweatpants and flip flops. Then bursting into tears. Then to be the center of attention and in a bunch of pics.....ughhh.  Give me some notice to pick out a nicer outfit and throw some makeup on and I will be eternally grateful. Seriously :)