Bad Body image after mc

I don't know if it is because I am slightly depressed at times or if it is because I gained 5 lbs but my body image right now is just really off. My husband said that I still look the same to him but to me I just look terrible.
I know I am eating foods that I shouldn't but like most everyone I am an emotional eater and I should be dealing with it differently. Since my band has been loosened it has been hard to say no to foods that I haven't been able to eat for awhile (bread)

I go back to see my surgeon on the 17th  to get some fluid put back into my band. Right now I have 8cc in my 11 cc band. Before I got pregnant I was at a perfect restriction of 10 where I was still losing slowly. I am thinking that I would want to go back to 9 to where I would have good restriction but if I would get pregnant again I would still be able to eat healthy fruits and vegetables and whole grains. When I was at 10cc I wasn't able to do any of that really.

So really girls did a lot of you suffer with this after you mc and how did you get through it?

Thanks
Jana

Yes. I ate like crap and also drank a glass of lemonade and vodka every night for 2 weeks. Everyone grieves differently. It didn't help that I had already gained 7 pounds and was bloated as could be. Afterwards I thought of my body as a big failure.
Try to start eating a little healthier each day. Eat wheat bread, if any. I know how you are feeling but in the end, additional weight gain just adds to the depression and makes it harder to face reality. Take care of yourself :)
MC is so painful but it does get easier and will be more so if you start eating better.  Best wishes to you!!

I do feel like a big failure. Sometimes I don't want to talk about it because I think that some people have bigger issues and that they don't want to hear my sob story anymore. I made it my goal today to start to try to take better care of myself.
It doesn't help things that I am still bleeding a little bit and that is just another reminder.  I know things will get easier. I think once I talk to my ob next Tuesday and my husband and I can start being intimate again it will help. He has been my rock and he wants me to talk to him when I feel this way. I tell him it is just the same feelings over and over,that I feel like i failed him as a wife and don't want him to be upset with me. (which he doesn't and I know this,just stupid thoughts in my brain)

I think once I go see my surgeon things will get easier as well. I just have to much freedom with my band being loose. You would have thought that after a year and a half with this tool that I would learned.

Thanks for responding. Atleast I know I am not partially crazy LOL

Jana

I remember my first MC I didn't have a D&C and it took 6 days for my body to expel everything. It was like right at the point I was starting to come to terms with losing our baby, I had to relive it all over again.
I had gained a little weight with the pregnancy and justified it with "it's for baby", but then baby is gone and not only are you grieving your loss but (for us) now also feel like a weight loss failure.
It will take time and allow yourself that time. I totally understand not wanting to burden someone with the MC talk but you need to be able to turn to someone and not just your husband - he's gotta have his own outlet. I feel for ya, I'm so sorry and please know i'm here if you ever need to vent ..

Jana,

I totally understand what you're going through.  I had an MC on 12/20.  Yes... made for a lovely Christmas.  And I bled for 2 weeks.  Daily reminder of the lost pregnancy was certainly no fun.  I did gain a few lbs during that time.  I told myself that it was ok.  I knew this was going to be an emotional time and I was ok with that.  I only gained 3 lbs during that time.  I drank a glass of wine nightly and didn't exercise for about a month.  Be gentle with yourself.  You are physically and emotionally going through a lot right now.

It does get easier with time.  Once your body is back on its cycle, and your OB gives you the green light, you and DH can do the baby dance again.  It takes 4-6 weeks after a MC to start your cycle again.  For me, it was 32 days before I started my cycle.  So, a little weight gain is ok.  Try to get out and take a walk if you can.  But if you chose not to, it's totally ok.

Big hugs!
~Maryn

After my second mc things got so bad that I ended up needing medication for about 6 months. Everyone grieves at their own rate and in their own way. I think as a collective group we all have horrible body image issues. I just realized yesterday that my "skinny" sister is only 2 pants sizes smaller than I am. W-O-W. I still feel just as fat as I was 3 years ago.

Getting back on track with healthy eating will help you feel better about how you look, but I totally understand emotional eating :) We all do.

I recommend keeping a food journal to keep you accountable... it helps me, especially when I am emotional b/c I would feel worse about having to write it down and not lie to myself than just eating it. (I hope that makes sense) And just focus on getting yourself well.

MCs suck. There's no other way to look at it. Give yourself some credit... it's ok to be emotional.

You all are so kind and I am glad that I can come here to vent and people understand what I am going through. I appreciate any and all feedback.

Lots of Love

Jana