Update on me and new issues

I feel like a traitor. I post on Facebook more then anything and some of you follow me and some of you are probably reading this thinking "who does she think she is? Followers?!?" Well, let me clarify.... not followers, supporters that I ADORE! 

This is just a ramble. Fair warning...When I write I am able to think, if I don't post it I keep thinking about it. I was thinking of starting a blog about the whole thing. but really.... who would read it? who would read a blog about a pregnant chick with issues who seems neurotic at times? LOL
Anyhow.... you've been warned ♥

Brief snapsys of my history so you can assist me with.. well... me :)
I am Christina King, I am 37, Husband Kevin is 42. He has 2 children with his ex-wife and we met in 1996 and decided to have kids of our own and to start then. So, fast forward........... 2008 had WLS, 2010 found an OB who decided to test my husband (VERY potent stuff he's toting around there  ) and then after that I had a hysteroscopy to just "peek around", but was diagnosed with pcos.  I also had an HSG  (dye injected in the tubes and then flushed).  I was pregnant within 3 weeks. We had been TTC for 13 years and this was my VERY first BFP. 

Kevin and I are both unaffected carriers of Cystic Fibrosis also, so we see a MFM (maternal Fetal medicne specialist).

When I was 16 weeks pregnant however, I suffered a miscarriage due to an incompetent cervix. I was crushed, my world fell apart.  Conner Ryan King was born 8-2-10
I seen my OB a week later and was told to take it easy for a little bit, to get my head back and to just grieve. We did plenty of that.
Then when it was 10-10-10 we decided to fool around and this was only the 3rd time we had sex since we lost Conner. We wanted the closeness, but were actually afraid of each other. I don't know why, but I came to realize that it was true. And well... I got pregnant again. It was only 2 months later I was a nervous wreck and still am.

Now... this is what is going on...
I had a cerclage placed ( a modified Shidokar that has a removable stitch ) and was told to "take it easy."  I do, to a degree. I mean I am back in college and have 5 classes but all of them are online but its still alot of sitting up and re-adjusting and such.
So, to get to the point.... I am seen by my OB every 2 weeks because of the cerclage and I have severe migrains.  I had an appt with the MFM for the anatomy scan (everything with the baby is GREAT!) and the MFM had a mood change. The whole mood in the room changed---dramatically...
He said that the cerclage looks good, however... (there is that f***ing word...--it ususally dont' mean anything positive to me when a dr says it).
However... My cervix is starting to funnel. It is thinning from the inside out. I have to go back this monday for an ultrasound and if it is ANY shorter then what they measured it--I am admitted. I am ok with that.
I am ok with the fact of having a second cerclage in--generally it would be a permenant abdominal cerclage where I would ONLY EVER have c-sections.
I am ok with everything.
BUT... I am a nervous mess. I am not "obsessing" over it, because my school work does take my mind off from it. But do I want to be in the hospital for 2 months? Do I want to have my husband abandon our home while I am there? We are both on disability and he and I are never far from each other But we live like 3 miles from the hospital and he would stay with me most all day, everyday. Its something we do -- we always have. If I am home and on bedrest -- I do get up, go potty and lay back down, but sometimes I also go to the potty, then run to the fridge, let the dog out and in, get or make a snack. Things that are super quick and all but things I know I shouldn't be doing. Its almost torture to just lay on the couch AAALLLL DAAYYY LOOONNNGGG. Quite honestly, my ass gets tired.
Anyhow....

main question is this... besides the normal breathing stuff....What do you do to relax? have any others had to have 2 cerclages?  I know what the success and survival rates are but what was YOUR experience???

I will post another topic of the baby and of my belly (I didn't have the skin removed after the WLS, so I have to hold it up to see it, but boy is it getting big :) )

holy crap this is long.... sorry... maybe I should print it out and submit it for class for life lessons :) LOL

I lost my son (second m/c) after the "safe period" was over (at 15 weeks)... it's hard when you feel like you've made it to the safe point and then, nope. I went on to have a healthy son later but let me tell you I was a mess the whole pregnancy. I ended up on partial bedrest at about 6 months out, and full bedrest at 36 or 37 weeks. I worried everyday.

He was perfectly fine.

This time I was put on light duty back in Nov. (i'm 38 weeks) and full bedrest a few weeks ago. My cervix isn't incompitent, but my bp ans bs are haywire and it's dangerous for me to stand. To save my sanity i've been sewing, knitting (which I'm new at), reading, sitting on the internet and watching alot of tv. :( It sucks, but it is well worth it in the end. A friend of mine's daughter was head down, effaced and all of that at like 6 months. They put the stich in and put her on strict bedrest and her daughter made it through fine.

Personally (and this is just my opinon... ) I would say if the second cerclage is neccessary, get it. Yeah, c-sections suck compared to normal birth, but as someone whose lost babies... i would do what ever it takes to get them here safely and if my choice to do something injured them... i would never forgive myself. After I had Tristan a friend of mine remarked that if I had just tried harder I could've had a successful natural birth *** no he was stuck) and she commented about the fact that I opted to suppliment (and bf as much as I was able to give him). My mother, who had no fertility problems and 4 kids came to my rescue and said to her that neither of them had any clue, personally, what I went through to have that baby, because they had never lost a child. She said that neither of them could understand because of that and that I would walk through fire to get that baby and him be healthy. She's right.

Even now, with this pregnancy, I would do whatever it takes. Even if it meant that I had to be 400 pounds again and miserable. If it meant that was what he needed. I try to focus on these kind of things. I would do anything for my boys, a c-section, formula.... these things are not the end of the world compared to what could result from preterm birth or doing too much while on bedrest. It's only for a  little while and then you'll have your beautiful baby to focus on. :) 

Again, this is just my personal opinon.

Aparently you're not the only one who can ramble on.

:) 

Since I also had a loss during the "safe period" I just have the anxiety of it all.... Knowing that we should have our son and don't sucks ass. Plain and simple. I know it happened for a reason..... whatever... but my MIL actually said to my husband, "well, you just need to get over it." uhm? Excuse me? ***** please! She had never dealt with a loss before so she just didn't know what to do or say, but she change her tune, but still....

Anyhow... I am gonna get a book that this gal posted on here, gotta keep my mind busy with other stuff. that is probably why I wrote so much here. Keeps me in the down position, none of that up and walking stuff LOL ;)

I just find it odd how some people will give you the best advice for YOUR pregnancy and for YOUR children and YOUR delivery.  You supplimented?!? HA! Too funny. If the shoe was only on the other foot at the time. Its a matter of safety for the baby. When I was delivering my son I broke my bag of waters and I never went into labor. 3 days later they had to induce me, his heartrate was still banging, he wasn't gonna give up... but I had a partial abruption also, so I was bleeding really bad. He was delievered then I was in surgery for an emergeny d&c to stop the bleeding then I still got 2 units of blood. So, its not without risk, but i would do it all again ... if I had a better outcome...

Anyhow... thanks and I appreciate your ramble too  :) ♥

I've not had any experience regarding cerclages or bed rest...I just wanted to give you a [[hug]] and say that I hope this pregnancy stays healthy - even if it means a 2nd cerclage and months of bed rest.  You'll have plenty of time down the road to be up and running around after this little one is born. 

Regarding relaxing - just find something that keeps your mind busy so you don't sit there and 'think' about all the things that can go wrong.  Listen to an iPod, watch movies, read a book, do puzzles, learn to knit/crochet/cross stitch...anything that keeps your hands and mind busy.

Good luck.

Hey. I was just poking around on here. Just wanted to say I understand the bedrest problems. I was on bedrest for 10 weeks with my twins. It is a cruel, cruel trick to leave a pregnant woman alone with her thoughts all day long.

I suggest the bedrest survival guide, http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Bed-Rest-Book-Expectant/dp/0425181669/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1296916009&sr=8-2

good luck and try to relax as best you can. I hope hubby is helping you out around the house. My husband learned to do laundry for the first time in his life!!! lol. So you know, I made it to 36 weeks and had huge, beautiful munckins, I wish the same for you!

I must say my husband is AMAZING. If I need to get up off the couch he is there, a snack,... he is there. He does laundry, cooking, cleaning, snowblows our driveway AND the neighbors when needed. He does it all.
The only thing that he wants he can't have. sex... poor guy. but he is taken care of LOL  :)  But anyhow...

I wrote an article for my wellness class and actually cited this book in it. I forgot ALL about it. thank you SO much for reminding me of it. Getting it today :) LOL 

Thanks for the kind words and well wishes

 Wonderful!!! Good for you. I'll be praying for you.

Have you found out what the severity of the cf will be of the baby ends up with both your genes? I have a daughter who is almost 7 who has CF..and the baby that I am carrying may..we have not tested. Our CF doctor has done several journal articles about abby as she is more healthy than a "normal" kid..he has said that she has a new mutation of the disease..on the other hand, a friend of mine just had her little boy this past novemeber and he is very ill..he is just a few months old and they give him to age 3...I would have had abby no matter what the doctors say..and people who are not in our position do not understand that...but I do!! Good luck and if you feel like keeping in connection with meI would love too..you can friend me on facebook Monica Morton Zicuis or email me at [email protected]!! I have more of a story that is VERY SIMILAR to yours!! (ANs it is all a positive ending!!)

Thank you so much for the words of positivity :)

As far as the CF goes... When my husband and I took the test we had NO clue it would ever come out that we are both unaffected carriers. I mean NO ONE in our family as far back as either of us could go ever had CF. So, we did what we thought was right and said no more testing. We know we wouldn't change anything and we know that as of right  now if we elect to have the amnio done that it puts baby Eli at a greater risk. however, that being said... when I am farther along and he would survive if anything were to happen, I may have it done. but as of right now, we are playing by ear.
When we found out we were carriers I was mortified and finally when i seen the OB he said "would you change anything?" I said "of course not!" he said "then why worry about it?" It made complete sense right then. And when we lost conner when I was 4 months along, we asked if he could be tested so we'd know and they all told us no...

I must admit= you are the very FIRST person I have EVER EVER met that has a child with CF. My OB has a list of CF moms but as I got closer to my due date he was going to have me meet with them, which I thought was cool for him to do.

anyhow, I added you to my friends list on FB, you just gotta accept it Thanks :)
gotta scoot, i'll be on FB later on if you wanna msg me -- im there on and off all day, everyday... LOL keeps me outta trouble at least. :)