To switch or not to switch daycare?
Hi there,
I would love to hear your advice or input on this one, ladies.
Currently, Lydia is in daycare full time until I go out on maternity leave (indefinitley) with baby #2. She has been at her school for five months, and really loves one of her teachers. However, recently, there have been a number of staffing problems resulting in teachers who I would not neccesarily choose for her, They seem to have lowered their standards. Also, she has now been bitten twice (each time resulting in broken skin and bruising, and each time the director neglected to call me for HOURS after the incident). I get that biting is part of the age. What I don't like is the way its being handled. I am being told that L is at fault because she took a book, or because she pulled someone's hair first. She's 18 months old, and we're going Old Testament? Anyway ... the biter in question is usually dealt with by them verbally reprimanding her in front of L, who then gets upset. I'm pretty crunchy. I don't spank. I don't yell, and I don't hit or pinch back when L does it to me (and she does. it IS the age). And, I'm tired of the director talking to me about developmental stages and why children bite. If you have a known biter, they need to not be there. My kiddo isn't the only one getting bitten, either. THere are lots.
So, I found a new daycare/preschool that is God based. Rather than verbal reprimand, they deal with all agressive behavior by talking about why God gave us hands, what they are used for, and love your neighbor, etc ... that is MUCH more in line with what we teach at home.
My question is this: WIth only four months left of full time daycare, is it worth the switch? I know it will be traumatic for her to leave her one teacher I like, but the new program is so structured and Godbased. I really like it. Should I switch her, or hang in there for 4 months?
I would love to hear your advice or input on this one, ladies.
Currently, Lydia is in daycare full time until I go out on maternity leave (indefinitley) with baby #2. She has been at her school for five months, and really loves one of her teachers. However, recently, there have been a number of staffing problems resulting in teachers who I would not neccesarily choose for her, They seem to have lowered their standards. Also, she has now been bitten twice (each time resulting in broken skin and bruising, and each time the director neglected to call me for HOURS after the incident). I get that biting is part of the age. What I don't like is the way its being handled. I am being told that L is at fault because she took a book, or because she pulled someone's hair first. She's 18 months old, and we're going Old Testament? Anyway ... the biter in question is usually dealt with by them verbally reprimanding her in front of L, who then gets upset. I'm pretty crunchy. I don't spank. I don't yell, and I don't hit or pinch back when L does it to me (and she does. it IS the age). And, I'm tired of the director talking to me about developmental stages and why children bite. If you have a known biter, they need to not be there. My kiddo isn't the only one getting bitten, either. THere are lots.
So, I found a new daycare/preschool that is God based. Rather than verbal reprimand, they deal with all agressive behavior by talking about why God gave us hands, what they are used for, and love your neighbor, etc ... that is MUCH more in line with what we teach at home.
My question is this: WIth only four months left of full time daycare, is it worth the switch? I know it will be traumatic for her to leave her one teacher I like, but the new program is so structured and Godbased. I really like it. Should I switch her, or hang in there for 4 months?
The problem with being an older parent is that I over think and over analyze EVERYTHING. As long as she is nurtured, respected, and feels safe, and has the room to crazy dance at will, that kid is happy. I know she will adjust well. I just don't love change, and I hate confrontation. But, you guys are all totally correct - it needs to be done. Thanks again. xoxo
It sounds like the kid(s) who are biting should be moved. I would complain to the local department of health, personally. Can you move her to this new school, then keep her in like 2 days a week? Just to give her some outside stimulation and mommy a break after baby comes :)
M/C 10/18/10 9w2d...forever loved
It's a boy!
First of all, did I say congrats on your pregnancy? I totally meant to, and sometimes I think I do or say things and it turns out it was just a voice in my head. Anyway, congrats ... I am REALLY excited for you! I know how much this baby is wanted! :-)
Second, you are totally right. Repeat biters should be removed from the situation, but it doesn't look like that's happening. And you read my mind. She will go full time until I leave, and then two days each week in the Fall. Thank you for your response!
Second, you are totally right. Repeat biters should be removed from the situation, but it doesn't look like that's happening. And you read my mind. She will go full time until I leave, and then two days each week in the Fall. Thank you for your response!
I had a similar situation with my son when he was about 20 months. He wasn't being bitten, but it seemed that he wasn't getting the best care when a new teacher took over his class. He became withdrawn and would scream when he came near the teacher in question. And of course, the teachers always try to frame it as a problem either with your parenting or your child. I switched him and he BLOSSOMED! His speech was slow to come but as soon as I switched him it exploded. I know I can't totally blame the school as development occurs at different times, but I really saw a difference.
I might first request that the daycare provide a shadow to work with the biting child (there may be a formal organization that you could report the biting to as well), and if they don't I would definitely switch her because you really never know how much damage is occurring. All you physically see is the bite marks, but there may be more going on there. Sorry you're having trouble! Good luck!
I might first request that the daycare provide a shadow to work with the biting child (there may be a formal organization that you could report the biting to as well), and if they don't I would definitely switch her because you really never know how much damage is occurring. All you physically see is the bite marks, but there may be more going on there. Sorry you're having trouble! Good luck!
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