Need to vent, but have nobody here

I was just informed by my DH that his family is trying to make him feel guilty that he has to be at a 3 year memorial service for his dad (Greek Orthodox thing). Well this is on Sunday the 6th and it is also a 2 hour drive (may be more depending on the roads). Well I am supposed to be induced on Saturday the 5th! So they are either expecting him to not be at the birth of his child, or that he will be there and just leave me and the baby at the hospital! OK, I know this is not my first child and that they knew back a few months ago that I was due on the 11th, yet they scheduled this so close anyway. WHAT THE HECK WERE THEY THINKING??? So he is pulling his hair out wondering why in the world he got a phone call tonight from his fathers well "girlfriend" at the time of his death pretty much giving him the "you really have to be there" speech!

I understand the importance of a memorial but hey this is your first child. I think it means more for him to be there for the birth than to be there at the memorial of someone who has already passed away. His family would just have to get mad. Yes you respect the dead but how about some respect for the new life?? In the long run he would feel worse for missing the birth and thoose first few days with his new baby than he will for missing a 3 yr memorial...IMO. Hope yall find peace in whatever you decide. P&PT's.

This is our 3rd child, but I don't think it is any different than if it was our 1st. I really did love his father, but I think there is a point when you can still remember someone without having to have a memorial over and over again.

Since it's not like your FIL just died and it's his funeral.  That, I could almost understand, but if it's a third year memorial...yeah, DH needs to be there with you and the baby...doesn't matter if it's your first, third or 10th baby...it's still his baby...and the ONLY birth for THIS baby.  No second chances or re-dos, LOL...

I'll play devil's advocate. If this is a big deal in the Greek Orthodox Church, maybe hubby can drive there and back in the same day? Can your Mom or someone come hang out with you? I know he would MUCH rather be with you and baby but if this is a big deal to them maybe a compromise is in order?

I can't believe you'll be meeting your little one THIS WEEKEND!!!!

Oh, I forgot to mention that lol. My family lives 3 hours away, and his sister is the one that we planned with to take my children while I am in the hospital. So she is planning on leaving Saturday to be there for church Sunday morning. So there is nobody else here, just the sister-in-law.

Nope.  I would have to say new life over 3 year memorial.  What better way to celebrate his father than to be there when his new grandchild is born?  What kind of man was his father?  Would be want him to miss his child's birth or even first day to remember him?  If not, there's your answer.  If so... well, I would still have my answer.  lol

Although my situation isnt thesame, I hear you.. My hubby is in school right now M-Th, it's a 13-week thing and my c-sec is going to land right about week 11. They will only let him off 2 days total, and he still has to make up the 2 days at the end of the same week (Fri, Sat or Sun),  So as of last week we are scheduled for a Weds c-section which means he would be with us Weds, Thurs Fri, but then he'd have to make up Weds & Thurs on Sat & Sun,... We are hoping to bump it back to the Fri before so he could squeeze 5 days in a row, but don't know if th dr will do it that early. And now with him being out today because of the flu, I really hope they won't count that as one of the 2 days,cuz that would already suck.

Good luck and I hope your hubby just stays with you :)

Lisa

Ya... this baby needs it's Daddy and Mommy there for it's first breath.  Honoring his father, your DH might want to focus on the expanding family that he is creating now.  His father would understand and would know that he is being there for you and your children... living in the present... is more important than going someplace to honor the anniversary of his death.  Your husband can honor his father's memory from where ever he is.  He can only hold his new baby from one place!

Thank you! My husband is very upset with his family and no doubt he is going to be there for the birth. He is just angry that he is getting the 3rd degree from his family. It is ridiculous, because it is his 3 sisters that think that he should be there. They have all had babies, and had their husbands there and did not get a bit of this from anyone.