MC

So I went to see my doctor on Thursday for my exam and they were having a hard time find the heart beat with the little monitor. They told me not to worry because this was the earliest time they could hear the heart beat on it. They did my pap smear and then sent me to have an ultrasound to find it on there.
So I went and had my ultrasound and could see my little angel on the screen. I could make out the head and the rest of it's little body. Then when she looked for the heartbeat , they couldn't find it :-(  The baby measured at 8 weeks and I was at almost 12 weeks.
My mom was with me, thank goodness. She lives in California and was in visiting for a couple of weeks. My husband wasn't there because it was an exam. I hated calling him to tell him. I had to wait on the doctor to come over from the hospital (he was in emergency surgery)  That gave my husband time to make it to the doctor office.  The doctor decided to just go ahead and do my D and C that night and get it over with so I didn't have to go home.

At first I blamed myself for this. I'm sure a lot of women do. But I know in my heart I gave it my best and tried my best to take care of us. Everyone explained to me that it was not my fault and sometimes God knows that the baby is not doing well and something was wrong.  I have full faith that he knows what is best for us. I know now that I am able to get pregnant and we will just try again in a month or two.

Thanks for reading
Jana

i'm sorry! feel, grieve, heel and move on - not forget - try not to let this loss consume your every thought. we're here for you.

Jana, I hope my earlier post did not come across insensitive. I'm so very sorry for your loss. If you ever need to talk i'm here for you.

Cathie

I am so sorry for your loss. :(

I am so sorry you guys have to go through that...it does stink and I agree with you that there is some reason that we will never know..I have had several MC's....it never gets any easier, but at least you have eachother!

I'm so sorry, Jana.  I recently went through a MC myself... 4 days before Christmas.  It does get better.  For now, be gentle with yourself.  There is nothing that you did wrong, could have done, or anything else like that.  My DW said something to me the night we found out I MC'd that was just so very comforting... If you were carrying your child, you would still be pg.. that was not your child.  I pray that you can find comfort in that knowing that your child is on its way to you and your DH soon.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you andyour DH.

I am so incredibly sorry for what you are going through. I am glad someone was with you when you found out. I had a similar occasion with my 2nd pregnancy. My then husband and one year old son were in the room, my husband's eyes were lighting up seeing the baby on monitor, until the doctor kept saying "come on little one show me something"....It's a feeling I would wish on no one. My prayers are with you, and I am glad you are taking comfort in the ways that you are. It can happen for you, when the time is right.

Oh sweetie my heart breaks for your loss. I'm truly sorry and may god carry you at this tough time and I'll keep you in my prayers until you have a bundle of joy in your arms.

Gina

I'm sorry Jana.  I've btdt too many times myself.  It never gets easier going through it...but trust me when I tell you, you will be OK...and feeling better in a few weeks.  In the meantime, know that you are not at fault, you did not cause this miscarriage, there is nothing you could have done to prevent it...and nothing the drs could have done to prevent it either.  I hope your next pregnancy comes soon...and results in you holding your little one a few months later.

[[hugs]]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.