Questions about breastfeeding..?

looking for some advice so TIA.

I BF'ed Sage for about a month. I was on the fence about Bf'ing but knew I wanted to try. A week after she was born, we found out about her heart mur mur and her sleep apnea that threw me for an emotional curve ball. I wasn't eating or drinking and completely stressed (thank goodness everything is resolved now). Anyway I decided to just pump after a month. I pumped for another month but due to me not taking care of myself my supply completely dried up.. I always regretted it, I tried to re lactate at 4 months and failed.

Now to the question. DH and I are ttc for number 2 and I am resolved to BF until a year. my problem, I will feel completely guilty for not bfing my first born for the same amount of time. the thought of it makes me sad, i feel bad for Sage. Is/was anyone in a similar situation? How do you handle that?

Thanks!
Karen

No advice, I just want you to give yourself a pat on the back for doing it for a month and longer. If mommy is not well, then baby will not thrive so you did a wonderful and selfless thing by switching her to formula. Now she is healthy and happy and it's all that matters. I give a ton of credit for wanting to try again.

I did not bf my oldest at all. My second I did for 10 weeks and Hayvann was about 16 weeks. I felt bad in some ways but the kids are all just fine. I did what I could with what I had before me which as a mom is all we can do

I am hoping to have better luck BF'ing this time around to. Just remember that you gave Sage what you could. Especially that colostrum is important. Plus, formula has come a very long way these days and they are beginning to see less of a difference between BF'ed kids and formula kids.

Feeling guilty about something you can do nothing about is a waste of your time. I highly doubt that she's going to hold it against you later in life.

I was only able to pump enough milk for the triplets so that they each got about one bottle of breastmilk a day for about six months, the rest of the time they had formula. It bothered me a little, but not enough that I did not do everything in my power to make sure that it was all breastmilk and only breastmilk the second time around.

You live, you learn, you do the best that you can. If you are commited to BFing this time around, then go for it, I know many women who gave up on their first go around and went on to breastfeed succesfully for a year or more with their second (or third, and in one case I read just today their fourth!).

thanks for the input everyone!

 i was really toung when i had my 1st daughter (19) and wasnt emotionally ready to be a mom i dont think, i nursed her for about a month and then stopped, she ended up allergis to ever formula we tried until we had to feed her formula that smelled like rotten milk right after it was mixed.  when my second was born i wanted to breastfeed but she had a lot of issues sucking, i was about to give up when her dr said she might have serious issues if she has the allergies my older one did to formula along with being preemie, so she sent me to la leche league and they helped teach miss lily how to suck and me how to be calm and succesfull in breastfeeding and i ended up nursing her to 14 months as a 21 year old mom, i was very proud of myself and although i do have some guilt over not bfing lea i know at that time in my life it just wasnt possible, they say to breastfeed as long as it is satisfying and beneficial to baby AND mom, it would have only benefitted the baby the first time, emtionally i couldnt do it. its sounds the same for you, it has to work for both of you not just one

I nursed my first baby for 6 months, baby 2 for 2.5 years and baby 3 for 2 years.    You can only do what you can do if that makes sense.  If your first baby is still young.....if you make enough milk you can always give that baby BM in a bottle.

With Lilly (first born), I had to stop nursing her because I was already 3 months preg with William (baby 2) and my supply just plummeted - not to mention the sore boobs were KILLING ME!!!  I put her on formula, but after William came along, rather then putting her on whole milk full time, she got BM in a cup - preferred it to whole milk and wouldn't touch formula again.

The BM is what is good....not necessarily how baby is getting it (breast or the bottle).

I felt guilt.....not until Ethan (baby 3) came along though.  I refused to give him formula (there was never a need though)......and I felt like I had somehow slightled Lilly because she got formula....it was almost like I felt like....formula was good enough for her, but it's not good enough for my other two....if that makes sense......

Guilt is a part of being a good parent. 

At the end of the day....you have to do what is best for you and your baby.

Crazy how similar our situations are with this issue! I couldn't BF Lydia like I wanted to either because of her heart condition (which has also resolved! Hooray for our girls!) This time around, I have a better network of support, and I already consulted an amazing lactation consultant and know of BF support groups near of me, so I plan to work on it for sure. I know I will have guilt, but as PP said, all we can do is our best, and Sage is blessed to have a momma who is aware and wants the best for her, and for future kiddos.

congrats on your decision to bf!.. dont fell bad... you can blame your self all day but in the end it wont "fix" it... sage is perfectly healthy and happy... what if baby numbr 2 has the same issues? you dont always know what yoru going to get. that being said- i never had a want to breast feed... the thought repulses me... and i dont feel guilty one bit... my kids are healthy and happy... my jayson was who was a premaure little man.. is now 32 lbs... smart... healthy...