Spouses and pregnancy

So I am at work today, which is new for our company. Normally Sat is only an overtime day, and I am bored out of my mind as I am the only one in sight. It has given me a lot of time to sit and think, so forgive me if I ramble :)

Currently I am the one working, and my DH stays home with our three little ones. Two oldest are in school during day so mostly he takes care of our 21 month old little girl. He worked when I was pregnant with her, and I was sick all the time he had to constantly come home and take me to hospital, and it affected his job. When my daughter was 6 months I found this position, which had better pay and better benefits so we switched places. He does an amazing job with the kids, and sometimes even the  house  Lately though I find myself being extremely resentful of him being home. I am tired, and getting bigger by the day. I hate sitting at this stupid desk all day long while he gets to play with our little girl, and care for our boys. I have never worked full time while pregnant so I don't know if thats part of it, adjusting. Is this hormones? Normal? I feel kind of bad because I was the one that chose to go back to work and asked him to stay home  (Day care would run us $600 a week, and its just NOT do able for us to both work right now)...

Am I awful for being so angry at all he gets to experience? How am I going to deal when it comes time to return to work after leave? Ugh....my poor husband  lol

Would it be doable if you were to stay home and your husband go back to work?  Would he be able to get a job making enough for you to get by - in the same or similar manner - that you are in right now?  If so...talk to him.  Tell him that with this baby on the way, you want to go back to staying home, especially once this little one is here.  It sounds to me like you have a caring husband who is doing the best he can to do what makes you happy (ie - the staying home, taking car of the house and kids...most men would not do that).  If you told him this is what you want, assuming he could find a job at a good salary, I bet he'd agree to it.

Hi Crystal,
I'm not pregnant and don't have kids yet, but I often think about the work situation too. Both myself and my husband work full time, both for the state of Oregon. But he is in an entry level position and I make significantly more than him. I have a 4 year degree and he has a 2 year one. So he can't advance to do the same job that I do. Our current "plan" is for when we have children, we both continue to work full time and use daycare. Which I hate. I want nothing more than to be a stay at home mom. But it wouldn't work financially. If anyone would get to stay home, it would be him. We wouldn't be able to survive from his salary alone. It makes me feel resentful, and I'm not even pregnant yet! With the current economy and the debt we already have, it wouldn't be a good idea for him to go back to school right now either. 
I don't have any advice for you, I just wanted to let you know that I feel for you. I really hope that you can figure out a way to stay home with your kids!
-Nikki

I don't know if it is normal hormones or actual resentment but I think communication is key. So wait til a day where you are less angry/mad/hurt and talk to him about this new baby and possible options.

I am in a situation where I have 2 degrees and my boyfriend is just starting school for his first. Even after he gets the degree I will still be making twice what he could make. Kinda puts a damper on any thoughts of me staying home with the baby.

Right now chances are that if you switched, you would be resentful of him getting to sit down at a desk all day while you go nuts trying to take care of the kids while pregnant and exhausted. So yes, part of this is hormones, but part of it just means you love your kids and wish you could be with them more, a position a lot of fathers are in. You are doing something wonderful, you are making it possible for your kids to have at least one parent at home and to have a good home.

Thanks for the ideas ladies. DH and I spoke about it and he understood where I was coming from. His biggest fear is returning to work, and then I run into complications like last time, and it affecting a new job. I make enough on my own that we are "cmfortable" so if he takes a position paying less, we'd have to put our budgetting skills to use for sure, but it'd still be manageable.

I think the resolution we have come to is I will wor****il Jaelyn arrives, and let him finish the degree program he is in currently. And then he will take on a full time position, and if needed to supplment I will do a part time nights position. I have a lot of experience in behavioral health and group homes, so that would be a good way to supplement I think.

So at least we have a game plan, and I know there is an end in sight. I have 12 weeks of FMLA to look forward to, right?