Question for the Working Moms...

Hello, everyone! Hope you're all having a fabulous weekend! The construction on my house is finished now (my ho****er heater blew up and flooded my downstairs) and I am happy to be back home!

I have about 8 weeks left before D-Day, and I'm at the point where I have to start thinking about maternity leave and FMLA (Family Medical Leave). Originally, I thought I would just take it all at once. I get 6 weeks for a regular delivery or 8 weeks for a c-section... plus 12 additional weeks of FMLA if I choose to take it.

However, since my husband and I work for the same company, we have to split the 12 weeks however we see fit. I was planning on taking 10 and he'll have 2. I am the "breadwinner" of the family, and unfortunately, don't have the option of being a stay at home mom or going back to my job part-time because we need my salary to keep it together.

I'd like to know, for those of you who have babies and are also in the workforce... how did you handle your leave? How much did you get? Do you regret not taking it all at once? Do you have suggestions or recommendations?

I have a friend who runs an at-home daycare, so I'll be leaving my daughter with her 2 days a week. (I work M-F, and hubby works Fri-Mon.)

Thanks for your advice!

 I took a total of eight weeks maternity leave and two weeks after that I worked from home.  I did that more for my company than for me.  They needed me due to a bring project implementation that I was on the team for.  The other positive for me was my sister came for a week when I went back to work, and my cousin for the next week, so Stajah didn't start daycare until she was 13 weeks old, and it gave me a chance to get used to being away from her and I knew she was with family.  Altogether I was happy with the time off.  Financially if you can take some time, I would.  I was out in about quickly after her birth but at the same time...it wore me out quicker, so take it for bonding and for your own healing.

Good Luck!

That's nice that you have family to do that for you! I have a great relationship with my parents, but I'm not willing to ask them to watch the baby one day a week. I feel like I have to pull it together and make it work on my own because I don't want to feel like a burden, ya know?

Thankfully, my husband and I have a nice little savings account set up to cover me for 4 months of leave. My concern is that I don't want to use all my leave up and then have nothing left if I need it. Otherwise, I would totally take the time off in the beginning. I'm already having anxiety about leaving her when she's so little.

I took 8 weeks the 1st time and then went back part time for 2 weeks..then full time with my daughter who is now 6. This time I am going to take only 8 weeks total. This was totally not planned and with the 2 surgerys I have not much paid time off left..I get 8 weeks oay with my short term disability after a 2 week wait....I also am the breadwinner. The only thing I really ahve going for me is that my mom is my day care person. She is licensed so I know who will have my little girl!!

Man, you're so lucky that your mom can watch her! I wish I had that luxury!

I wouldnt take the FMLA at all. You might need it in case you or the hubby or kids need to have medical care...tonsils out, overnight visits to the hospitals etc...If you use it all then you would be screwed basically and one of you could risk losing your job. SO I would bank it.

As for how long to take off, I only took 2weeks off. Then again Im one of those people who can give birth and want to go back to work that day or night. LEGALLY they can give you upto 6weeks off for maternity leave. Like I say, once you use your FMLA up you are screwed til the next time your eligible. PLUS alot can happen during that time with your job. I dontknow what you do, company could start to downsize and they not see you there and they could let you go. Im sorry if it is sounding harsh. I have seen it happen. I have seen where moms have taken the FMLA leave and then turn around lose their jobs for missing to much work cuz of little one or SO being sick etc...

I went back to work after 2weeks because i wanted to and had too at the sametime. Did I worry about how it would affect my kids? yeah i did. Knowing that I was there to provide for them, seeing them at the end of the day washed the guilt away. I wasnt worried about the bonding. They knew/know who I am. PLUS I had great babysitters that would bring them to me at my breaks etc for a little bit to see them. If I was having a bad day, she would show up with my kids to give me a good cheer up.

Also, what if you or your SO need to have a surgery and there are complicatins? You would be basically screwed for time off because you have used all the FMLA. You asked so Im just seeing it from outside the box...yes it is a good thing to have, but you really REALLY need to look at all the "what ifs" before you make that decision.

Yeah, I'd taken all that into consideration, too. Thankfully, I have an awesome job with a growing company and we're hiring, not firing. Two other women I work with just came back from maternity leave... one took 4 months off, and the other took 3 months off PLUS came back on a part-time basis. My company is extremely flexible and family-friendly, so I'm not concerned about that part.

I'll only have to leave my daughter at the "sitter" two days a week, so that's good. I just stress out about the fact that she's going to be so little when I have to go back to work. But it is what it is, and I have to make it work because I don't have any other options!

I stayed home for 10 weeks total, my husband only got 2 weeks. It's done a little differently where I work, we get 6 weeks for regular birth, 8 for c-section (from our sick leave pool). Guys get 2 weeks. Since guys can get 2 weeks, mom's can get those 2 weeks as well, so I had 8 weeks and then I opted to use another 2 weeks of my vacation time using FMLA. We get a lot of vacation time at my job, so I still had plenty left. If employees haven't been here long enough to have that much sick leave accrued, they can use short term disability.
I would say, as much as you want to stay home, to use it ALL up at once, because kiddo is going to get sick and you're going to have to take time off fairly frequently in the first year, so be sure to leave yourself a good buffer.

At the company I work for you get 6 weeks paid leave for natural delivery and 8 weeks for a c-section. You then have the option to take an additional 4-6 for a total of 12 weeks/FMLA protected. After your first 6-8 weeks you can opt to come back and take your remaining 4-6 weeks later, either paid from your PTO or unpaid if you have exhausted leave, before the child turns one year old, and it has to be done in one lump sum, not intermittently. You accrue 12 weeks of FMLA on a revolving calendar so you will also have earned back some to all of your initial time taken as well at this point. With my son, by the time he was born I only had enough time to take 6 weeks (Your FMLA runs concurrent with your maternity leave) because due to bedrest and some other issues I had used a lot of time up. However, when he was 8 months only I took the remaining 6 weeks I could and we used that to travel to Morocco to see family and friends. It was nice. However, if given the option again I would opt to take the 12 weeks all at ones as it was hard adapting and coming back to work at 6 weeks and putting him in daycare. I was just barely getting into some sort or routine and sleep schedule so it was rough.

I thought about that too, because my husband's family lives in West Virginia and we wanted to take a trip to see them when the baby is 6 months or so. I will be saving some of my leave time for that purpose!