How many Mother's allow their kids to be picky...
I have a 12 year old who has had issues with anorexia over the past few years and his psychiatrist told me to get him to eat that I should allow him whatever he wanted. I had to add a daily milkshake. I had to let him choose because he was not eating at all because there was so much he did not like. I allowed it to get so far because my husband thought exactly like you do. I wont allow it is where I see the BS. My child was 60 pounds and 12 years old. Sure I could have allowed that to continue but I knew there was something wrong. Now that he is not forced to sit at the table and gag down food he hates and then go throw it up anyway he chooses and when I cook he gets a little of everything I make but if he takes a few bits and does not like it then oh well he does not eat it. He will then have choices of things I keep in the house he does like. Like yogurt and fruit and things like that. So yes I have to cater to him but hey thats what being a great parent is about and realising that every child is different and everyones situation is different and I dont judge anyone who does what is best for their own child.
Damayin 12-3-93
Jarrid 10-12-98
Hayvann 11-22-09
Kerstyn 4-2-11
Kinzy 4-2-11
Jarrid 10-12-98
Hayvann 11-22-09
Kerstyn 4-2-11
Kinzy 4-2-11
I know it must have been hard to deal with. I have two kids who don't like to eat. Doctors are involved but it isnt helping. Ethan, as you can see from my other post, just has issues with textures. But my 16 year is a different story. She is in dance at school and is 5'2" and wieghts a whomping whole 98 pounds. She eats what I cook but not much of it. I even tried measuring her foods, not even giving her a full serving and she would still leave alot on her plate. I have use small plates and the big plates, but she still never eats half what's on her plate. She is soooo scared of being fat. All of her family on her dad's side is heavy and she is scared to death she will end up that way. I cook very healthy but she just won't eat. Her doctor has even talked to her about it. So has her dance teacher.
i also find most of your post pretty ignorant... you cant pick and choose what kind of child you get... if she will be picky she will be.. end of story...my son used to eat everything... hes now 2 and is very head strong... yes i make him his own dinner... a healthy one... with a protien, veggie, and carb.. he eats it.. the whole thing.. hes not a fan of meat.. fine.. he will eat other proteins.. i dont get him mc donalds or pizza everyday... he loves veggies... his fav dinner ever is a chef salad and a cup of milk.. now my daughter eats everything.. im sure she will soon narrow her taste... kids go thru stages... i think its pretty brave of you to make a post this ignorant without having children of your own..
I agree with you to a point, but I think your approach is way off base and uncalled for. I have three children, they have always been fed the same foods. My oldest is on the Autism spectrum and will not eat red meat. I have snuck it in every way possible and he has always known and spit it out. His doctors said it IS possible to truly be that sensitive. He has done this since he was 18 months old. In order for my son to get proper nutrition, he occasionally has had to have meals made just for him. If he doesn't get something he can handle eating he will not eat. We have tested this and I would not let it go beyond 24 hours of not eating to see how long he would refuse.
There are exceptions to everything, and to blindly say that something is BS is quite naive. And to say, "I will never be a parent who does ______" is quite comical and is 99% laughed about later in life.
There are exceptions to everything, and to blindly say that something is BS is quite naive. And to say, "I will never be a parent who does ______" is quite comical and is 99% laughed about later in life.
~*Crystal*~
HW-327/SW-313/CW-271/Doc's Goal:150 ......Awaiting Revision to DS
Post RNY baby born 6 weeks early, Jaelyn Mary Christine May 9th, 2011 
Even unpicky eaters can get pickified overnight. It's developmentally NORMAL for children to try all sorts of things as babies and even really like them, then to reject them as toddlers. From an evolutionary standpoint, it makes sense because a child in her mother's arms is probably getting only safe foods from Mom, but a walking, running kid can eat poison berries, magic mushrooms, and dog crap, so pickiness is protective!
That said, I don't believe in being a short-order cook for our children, but I also think it's OK to cater to preferences *somewhat* as long as they're healthy. IMO, it's good practice to serve something each person likes. Doesn't mean 15 dishes on the table every night, but for example, today I made collards with onions and tomatoes as one veggie side as well as peas and carrots. I figured my daughter (5 years old) would not go for the collards too much (but she actually ended up enjoying them!) so it was good to have a backup. We ended up all eating plenty of veggies and no problems or power struggles.
I never introduced my daughter to things I really wouldn't want her eating. She's never had a hot dog or a chicken nugget. I don't look down on people who feed those to their kids, but I personally don't like them and I don't want her eating them regularly for a couple reasons. If she chooses to eat them as a teen or an adult, that is her choice.
Oh, and I know I said never be a short-order cook, but I admit I will give my daughter an alternative in the rare instance she really doesn't want anything I've made. If it happened daily or weekly, heck no, but since it's not often, I will let her have something healthy but not very exciting instead of the main menu - an egg on a piece of whole wheat toast or a sandwich or something. I know that I sometimes will make a meal and not feel like eating it, and I understand she probably feels that way too sometimes. If it became a constant thing, it wouldn't fly.
At any rate, I really want food not to be a big issue, so I do my best to avoid power struggles.
That said, I don't believe in being a short-order cook for our children, but I also think it's OK to cater to preferences *somewhat* as long as they're healthy. IMO, it's good practice to serve something each person likes. Doesn't mean 15 dishes on the table every night, but for example, today I made collards with onions and tomatoes as one veggie side as well as peas and carrots. I figured my daughter (5 years old) would not go for the collards too much (but she actually ended up enjoying them!) so it was good to have a backup. We ended up all eating plenty of veggies and no problems or power struggles.
I never introduced my daughter to things I really wouldn't want her eating. She's never had a hot dog or a chicken nugget. I don't look down on people who feed those to their kids, but I personally don't like them and I don't want her eating them regularly for a couple reasons. If she chooses to eat them as a teen or an adult, that is her choice.
Oh, and I know I said never be a short-order cook, but I admit I will give my daughter an alternative in the rare instance she really doesn't want anything I've made. If it happened daily or weekly, heck no, but since it's not often, I will let her have something healthy but not very exciting instead of the main menu - an egg on a piece of whole wheat toast or a sandwich or something. I know that I sometimes will make a meal and not feel like eating it, and I understand she probably feels that way too sometimes. If it became a constant thing, it wouldn't fly.
At any rate, I really want food not to be a big issue, so I do my best to avoid power struggles.
I think I ate what we had too - since I developed a liking to simple things like bread and rice early on it wasn't difficult to be satisfied.
One memory that just struck me was at school. I usually carried my lunch (a roll with butter and cheese & soup in my thermist
) BUT when I didn't they always gave us a choice of "the food of the day" or Peanut butter & jelly or grilled cheese sandwiches. I always chose a sandwich. I just never liked meat ever. I am not a vegetarian and do try to eat meat because I should and I am not always successful 
.
So I would respect my childs dislikes. I still like simple foods the same as when I was a child.
I also did not take to milk as a baby and my mother eventually let me have apple juice. Yep I had a mouth full of rotten teeth and I didn't like mil****il much later in life. I can't drink it straight because I will puke - SERIOUS. It is something about it - Yes, cheese does this to me once in a while too).
I do understand, I do. I am so sensitive about smells and textures and it is very real for me.
Best,
Leila
One memory that just struck me was at school. I usually carried my lunch (a roll with butter and cheese & soup in my thermist
) BUT when I didn't they always gave us a choice of "the food of the day" or Peanut butter & jelly or grilled cheese sandwiches. I always chose a sandwich. I just never liked meat ever. I am not a vegetarian and do try to eat meat because I should and I am not always successful . So I would respect my childs dislikes. I still like simple foods the same as when I was a child.
I also did not take to milk as a baby and my mother eventually let me have apple juice. Yep I had a mouth full of rotten teeth and I didn't like mil****il much later in life. I can't drink it straight because I will puke - SERIOUS. It is something about it - Yes, cheese does this to me once in a while too).
I do understand, I do. I am so sensitive about smells and textures and it is very real for me.
Best,
Leila
3/30/2005 Lap Band installed 12/20/2010 Lap Band REMOVED
6/6/2011 Vertical SLEEVE Gastrectomy
Baby Blues
on 12/9/10 7:47 am - Roy, UT
on 12/9/10 7:47 am - Roy, UT
As a mother of 4 children (my last one post op) I often lurk on this board still even tho said baby is now 4 yrs old and I'm amazed at the ignorance some people show.
To the OP, get off your high horse and get a reality dose quick. You do NOT know anything. Please educate yourself before the birth of your baby. No baby deserves to to grow up with parents who have IQs lower then a box of garbage sacks. Seriously. Do your knuckles drag when you walk?
And for the record, I happen to have a child who (diagnosed by a pediatric bariatric specialist) who IS picky because of REAL TEXTURE issuses. And I trust his opinion more then yours. He made his diagnosis based on, oh I don't know, experience; education, science.....
I don't care how many boards you posted this on. But hell, if you want advertise your ignorance all over cyber world, that's your business. Wrong is still wrong.
Tammy.
P.S. Before I actually had kids I thought I knew it all. Then I had kids and realized I knew NOTHING. It's scary.
To the OP, get off your high horse and get a reality dose quick. You do NOT know anything. Please educate yourself before the birth of your baby. No baby deserves to to grow up with parents who have IQs lower then a box of garbage sacks. Seriously. Do your knuckles drag when you walk?
And for the record, I happen to have a child who (diagnosed by a pediatric bariatric specialist) who IS picky because of REAL TEXTURE issuses. And I trust his opinion more then yours. He made his diagnosis based on, oh I don't know, experience; education, science.....
I don't care how many boards you posted this on. But hell, if you want advertise your ignorance all over cyber world, that's your business. Wrong is still wrong.
Tammy.
P.S. Before I actually had kids I thought I knew it all. Then I had kids and realized I knew NOTHING. It's scary.
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst...then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ---Marilyn Monroe
OMG! This has to be the funniest post I've read all day... 
You said EXACTLY what I was thinking Tammy!! When I first read this post, I thought a lot of the same things... I have a son who is turning 2 and is a picky eater. He has a problem with textures and hates most meats... We're getting by and he is growing slowly... The doctor had me start supplementing with PediaSure each day to make sure he was getting in enough calories...
People should NOT judge any other parent period... He's MY kid and I will take care of him as I see fit... Should I let him starve to death or let him be a little bit picky? Hmmmm decisions, decisions...
To the original poster, goodluck with your "perfect" child... That is all I can say... You can day dream all you want but the fact is that no child is perfect and eats the exact way you want them to, or poops when you want them to, or potty trains like you want them to... Babies do things the way THEY want to do them or learns to do them... It doesn't matter how much YOU want things to be a certain way, the likelyhood that it will happen just that way is slim to none...
You said EXACTLY what I was thinking Tammy!! When I first read this post, I thought a lot of the same things... I have a son who is turning 2 and is a picky eater. He has a problem with textures and hates most meats... We're getting by and he is growing slowly... The doctor had me start supplementing with PediaSure each day to make sure he was getting in enough calories...
People should NOT judge any other parent period... He's MY kid and I will take care of him as I see fit... Should I let him starve to death or let him be a little bit picky? Hmmmm decisions, decisions...
To the original poster, goodluck with your "perfect" child... That is all I can say... You can day dream all you want but the fact is that no child is perfect and eats the exact way you want them to, or poops when you want them to, or potty trains like you want them to... Babies do things the way THEY want to do them or learns to do them... It doesn't matter how much YOU want things to be a certain way, the likelyhood that it will happen just that way is slim to none...
Chelle RNY - 12/17/2004
150# kept off over 5 years now - Thank you Dr Kim!!!
I am an old time person from here, too, but I don't check in very often anymore.
I have 3 children. My boys are 19 months apart and are currently 15 and 13. They have always been extremely good eaters, veggies, fruits, meat (my 13 year old called everything chicken for the longest time. One time we had steak and he asked for more chicken, please. lol!) My husband's cousin had a baby a year after my 13 year old and the kid would only eat chicken nuggets from wendy's. I swore that it was a parenting style and thanked my lucky stars that I had children who were raised right.
Fast forward 10 years. I had my daughter Sept. 07. She is different in every way! I did the same things with her that I did with the boys. Guess what? It didn't work. Am I a parenting failure? No. I matured enough to realize that all kids are different. Even with the same parenting. Hmmm.
Gabi is one who would not even eat baby food as a baby. She didn't like the texture or taste, not sure. She would eat baby cereal. My neighbor didn't believe me and thought I was crazy. She started watching her one day a week while I volunteered for lunch duty at the boys' school. She could not believe Gabi wouldn't eat baby food. She also will only drink water. When she was on a bottle she drank formula and then milk. We did everything to try her to drink milk from a cup, and I mean everything! She won't drink milk. Same neighbor (who is 73) said she never saw a kid who drank water like Gabi. She won't drink anything else. anything.
She is still very picky today. I put what we are eating on her plate and she knows she has to at least try it (if it's not one of her faves) with 3 bites. Many times she likes it, but still only eats the 3 bites she has to. Other times it is sensory overload and she spits out the first bite and I don't fight her on eating that particular item. Last time was pot roast. If we are going to dinner at my in-laws and I know it is something she won't eat, I will take something for her. I don't want her to starve.
As for the forcing you had to do as a child? Me too. That's what made me fat. That's why I overdid it all the time on things I do like. I promised I would never force my kids to eat anything. And I don't.
This is very important: If you want your child to not have a weight issue, you have to be careful to not give food issues, like forcing them to eat. Kids, as babies, need to learn to listen to their stomaches to know when they are done and don't want more. Do not keep feeding a baby who is turning their face away from the spoon, spitting the food out, or crying. They are most likely full!!! Don't ever make a child "clean their plate" because that also doesn't help them to listen to their stomach. If I think my child is playing games with wanting to be done, and I can tell when that is the case, I have them take 3-5 more bites before they get up. And for the other extreme, I have one who loves to eat regular food. If I feel he has eaten too fast and wants more because it tastes so good, I have him wait 10 minutes and if he really wants more, he can have more. 9 times out of 10 he realizes he is full.
So please do not give your child food issues. Do not make food an issue!!!!!!!!
Laurie
I have 3 children. My boys are 19 months apart and are currently 15 and 13. They have always been extremely good eaters, veggies, fruits, meat (my 13 year old called everything chicken for the longest time. One time we had steak and he asked for more chicken, please. lol!) My husband's cousin had a baby a year after my 13 year old and the kid would only eat chicken nuggets from wendy's. I swore that it was a parenting style and thanked my lucky stars that I had children who were raised right.
Fast forward 10 years. I had my daughter Sept. 07. She is different in every way! I did the same things with her that I did with the boys. Guess what? It didn't work. Am I a parenting failure? No. I matured enough to realize that all kids are different. Even with the same parenting. Hmmm.
Gabi is one who would not even eat baby food as a baby. She didn't like the texture or taste, not sure. She would eat baby cereal. My neighbor didn't believe me and thought I was crazy. She started watching her one day a week while I volunteered for lunch duty at the boys' school. She could not believe Gabi wouldn't eat baby food. She also will only drink water. When she was on a bottle she drank formula and then milk. We did everything to try her to drink milk from a cup, and I mean everything! She won't drink milk. Same neighbor (who is 73) said she never saw a kid who drank water like Gabi. She won't drink anything else. anything.
She is still very picky today. I put what we are eating on her plate and she knows she has to at least try it (if it's not one of her faves) with 3 bites. Many times she likes it, but still only eats the 3 bites she has to. Other times it is sensory overload and she spits out the first bite and I don't fight her on eating that particular item. Last time was pot roast. If we are going to dinner at my in-laws and I know it is something she won't eat, I will take something for her. I don't want her to starve.
As for the forcing you had to do as a child? Me too. That's what made me fat. That's why I overdid it all the time on things I do like. I promised I would never force my kids to eat anything. And I don't.
This is very important: If you want your child to not have a weight issue, you have to be careful to not give food issues, like forcing them to eat. Kids, as babies, need to learn to listen to their stomaches to know when they are done and don't want more. Do not keep feeding a baby who is turning their face away from the spoon, spitting the food out, or crying. They are most likely full!!! Don't ever make a child "clean their plate" because that also doesn't help them to listen to their stomach. If I think my child is playing games with wanting to be done, and I can tell when that is the case, I have them take 3-5 more bites before they get up. And for the other extreme, I have one who loves to eat regular food. If I feel he has eaten too fast and wants more because it tastes so good, I have him wait 10 minutes and if he really wants more, he can have more. 9 times out of 10 he realizes he is full.
So please do not give your child food issues. Do not make food an issue!!!!!!!!
Laurie
Mom to: Nicholas 11/1/95, Justin 6/7/97, Gabrielle (Gabi) 9/21/07
Ok first off...
AFTER we have had surgeries and we were TOLD how to and what to eat. DO TOO TEXTURE, and why we would dump, foam, puke, get food stuck...SOOO your justification of NOT believing in a texture issue? YEP, calling the kettle black right? KIDS no matter HOW old they are do know what they do like or dont like. THEY are capable of deciding on their own.
my oldest, LOVES meat of any kind, HATES vegetable...he is my protein eater. NO candy, sweets, cookies etc...and he IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT
My 5yr and 4yr old LOVE VEGETABLES and will sit in the garden and pick peas and green beans straight off the vines and eat em.
MY 4yrold daughter HATES meat of any kind...WHY?!?!because of the texture....
5yr old is stuck on eating cereal and drinking his LACTOSE FREE milk, and eating eggs and peanut butter sandwhiches...
EACH child will go through stages of what they want to eat and what they dont...like only hot dogs, chicken nuggest only bananas for snacks etc...
I dont know if you OP, have had other kids that you have had yourself or if this is your first one, UNTIL you know the full story, you really shouldnt judge. HOW about this one? WHILE being pregnant as of RIGHT NOW, i cant handle "certain textures"...so who are you to say there is no such thing as "texture" issues...OR how about when there are disabled handicapped people and older people who cant eat certain foods because, get this, of TEXTURE issues...That is why there are pureed foods, liquid foods thickened with a thickner etc...
NOW as for the mama with the ADORABLE 3, its like this I learned fast...
Terrible 2's
HORRENDOUS 3's
mine were perfect 2yr olds until that 3yr old mark...lol
Oh as for the mama's or families on here with "picky eaters" and as for you the OP, you pick and choose what battles you choose to fight with your kids am i right? SO instead of fighting them JOIN THEM!!! Put the veggies hidden in their meat, like meatloaf with pureed carrtos or celery, recipies for brownies with pureed carrots to help with vitamins etc...OR how about this one...get out the ol protein powder and mix it in with the mac and cheese, or pudding etc...just so you as a parent KNOW they are getting a little extra...
AFTER we have had surgeries and we were TOLD how to and what to eat. DO TOO TEXTURE, and why we would dump, foam, puke, get food stuck...SOOO your justification of NOT believing in a texture issue? YEP, calling the kettle black right? KIDS no matter HOW old they are do know what they do like or dont like. THEY are capable of deciding on their own.
my oldest, LOVES meat of any kind, HATES vegetable...he is my protein eater. NO candy, sweets, cookies etc...and he IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT
My 5yr and 4yr old LOVE VEGETABLES and will sit in the garden and pick peas and green beans straight off the vines and eat em.
MY 4yrold daughter HATES meat of any kind...WHY?!?!because of the texture....
5yr old is stuck on eating cereal and drinking his LACTOSE FREE milk, and eating eggs and peanut butter sandwhiches...
EACH child will go through stages of what they want to eat and what they dont...like only hot dogs, chicken nuggest only bananas for snacks etc...
I dont know if you OP, have had other kids that you have had yourself or if this is your first one, UNTIL you know the full story, you really shouldnt judge. HOW about this one? WHILE being pregnant as of RIGHT NOW, i cant handle "certain textures"...so who are you to say there is no such thing as "texture" issues...OR how about when there are disabled handicapped people and older people who cant eat certain foods because, get this, of TEXTURE issues...That is why there are pureed foods, liquid foods thickened with a thickner etc...
NOW as for the mama with the ADORABLE 3, its like this I learned fast...
Terrible 2's
HORRENDOUS 3's
mine were perfect 2yr olds until that 3yr old mark...lol
Oh as for the mama's or families on here with "picky eaters" and as for you the OP, you pick and choose what battles you choose to fight with your kids am i right? SO instead of fighting them JOIN THEM!!! Put the veggies hidden in their meat, like meatloaf with pureed carrtos or celery, recipies for brownies with pureed carrots to help with vitamins etc...OR how about this one...get out the ol protein powder and mix it in with the mac and cheese, or pudding etc...just so you as a parent KNOW they are getting a little extra...
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