So sad and frustrated (Mini Rant)

Hello all,

Just an update on me, cycle #1 back at TTC #1 was a bust.  Had an unexpected positive opk on cd 14, think we missed the eggie due to it being a suprise and our timing was off for BDing this cycle.  CD28 start spotting here and there, nothing major yet.  All Hpt's are stark white but all I can say is that If AF gets here in the next day or two this was a pretty bang on cycle, first in many many many years.  I usually "o" around cd 18-20 and my cycle is usually 33-35 days long.

Now for my rant.....

My SIL calls last night, I ignore the phone cuz I am depressed that AF is on her way.  She left a message saying that she is just phoning to say HI and nothing is wrong on her end, give her a call tomorrow (today).  So I get DH to call, after all it is his sister, to see what was up.  They chat for a few minutes than she announces that my niece is expecting #3 in May.  WTH, why would I want to know that when she knows very well that I just had a mc 8 weeks ago, do the math and my Niece got pregnant around that time.  This just killed me today.  I have been moping all day!!!  Some ppl just don't know when to keep things to themselves.  My Niece already has a stepdaughter 16, another daughter 11 and a son 6.  Now she is starting over and needs everything.  I truely believe that is why her mom called today, one to give the news (btw no one knows so don't spread it we are told) and two she was here about 6 weeks ago and seen all the baby stuff I have here from carseats, crib, bassinet, playpen, high chair, stroller, exersaucer, change table, etc.  Yes it is all for when we eventually have kids HOPEFULLY, but it is used and I have collected it for our use and right now I use the stuff for daycare needs.  I think she was hoping that I would loan the stuff to her daughter since we don't have kids.  BIG FAT NOPE!!!  She doesn't take care of things and again I am using it at this time.  Am I being selfish because my feelings are crushed or am I just *****y?

Well thanks for listening!!!  Just down in the dumps!!!

Sending you a big hug!

I don't think you are being a ***** I would be very upset too.

Thanks!!!  Needed to hear that!!!

Hi, I am so sorry for all your losses. I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago so I understand your pain. (((hugs)))
A word of advice...put the baby stuff away. Box it up and put it in an attic, or basement, or wherever. It is not doing you or DH any good to look at this stuff. I started buying stuff very early too. But I just boxed it up and put it in the garage. I will not be taking it out until after I am at least 30 weeks pregnant again.
If anyone else tries to give you anything, politely decline. I know it's awesome to save money or get free stuff, but it's not worth the emotional toll.
You will get to use the stuff eventually. Just don't focus on it right now. PM if you want to chat.
Michelle

I actually use the baby stuff for my daycare right now.  As the little one I tend to grows out of it I do put it away, ie exersaucer, infant carseat, I still use the stroller, crib, playpen and highchair though.  The emotional toll on that stuff doesn't get to me because I am using it for a purpose right now, I understand that it would bother me if I wasn't doing daycare and it was just collecting dust.  I just think the SIL thinks that I should loan my stuff to my niece since I don't have kids at this time, but DH told her I use the stuff daily. And maybe she should ask my other niece, who she gave her stuff too to use over a year ago, for some of the stuff back if she was done with it.

Oh sorry, I missed the daycare part. Nobody should be assuming that you should give away your baby stuff, just because of your miscarriages. Extremely insensitive and tacky. If that is the level they have to stoop to to provide for their new baby, then they should think twice before getting pregnant.
P.S Tell them yard sale season is coming up in the spring :)

So sorry you are going through this.  I do understand about the "wanna borrow or get".  I would not give or lend a thing to anyone.  You are using it now for what ever reason and you will have a child of your own one day that needs this stuff.  You could be a smart butt and tell her you will "sell" the things for the same price she can get it at the store. LOL  My SIL got preggo after me and they hinted they wanted my stuff as the baby out grew it.  Yea, right.  I wanted another child.  I told them sure she can have it.  Just let me go to the store and get prices so I know how much to charge her. LOL  Needless to say, they never asked again. 

 I totally get where you're coming from. I think its socially taboo to ask or hint for anyone to give you stuff. The only person I would feel comfortable asking to borrow baby items is my own sister, and we are very close and can talk openly about anything. Aren't some people so sensitive and fabulous? haha
Hang in there. I'm sorry you are having a hard time.
-Nikki

[[HUGS]]

I would just tell your SIL that the stuff you have is put aside for your own purposes and leave it at that.  You don't owe her daughter the free use of anything.  I am the type - and I think most of us are - that we'll give away whatever we have to someone who truly needs it, when we have it to give...but I just find it very tacky for people to basically come to your house and brouse through it like a second hand store/charity shop deciding what they can/can't use and (whether hinting or outright asking) letting you know what it is they'd like you to 'give' them.  Doesn't matter if it was done over the telephone this time...she knows what you have and what her daughter's going to need....it's still brousing. 

I pray you get the opportunity soon to use these baby things for your own little one.