Totally losing my hope

Do you have PCOS (insulin resistance, no period/ovulation or irregularities,cystic ovaries, over production of male hormone, thinning hair on scalp, facial hair, skin discoloration, difficulty losing weight)?

If so are you being treated for that?  From your reply, it looks like you are just under 300lbs - for most people (especially if you are not 20 something), that is not a healthy body to start a pregnancy with.  Yes, you should look to your next move in terms of getting pregnant BUT  you need to really work on getting some of the weight off to get your body in a healthy condition to withstand fertility treatment and sustain a healthy pregnancy and motherhood.

Blessings,
Leila

Hello... I used to have PCOS but after my surgery it went away... I asked my doctor about it and he said my levels were normal and in the tests he did among them the hilpiogram (I don't know how it's spelled) I don't show to have polycystic ovaries anymore.

Yes, I am under 300's but unfortunately I am not in the 20's... I am going to be turning 42 in December so I don't have all the time in the world to get to what would be a goal weight for me.
Obviously I am working in losing more...

thank you :-)

I've seen some other posts regarding adoption.  I think you should give some serious consideration to foster parenting and/or adopting. 

After my husband and I had tried to get pregnant unsuccessfully for 6 years, we went through the process of becoming licensed foster parents with the intention of fostering to adoption.  We found the entire experience to be so fulfilling...the idea of helping a child *****ally needed us affected us deeply and filled a void. 

In our case, right after we got our license, I got pregnant.  That seems to be the way it goes for a lot of people!  We are still planning to foster and possibly adopt in the future but right now we have our hands full with a 6 month old!  In the meantime, the education we received going through the licensing process has been really helpful AND it kept us busy and kept our minds off our TTC worries for a while.

I wish you lots of luck but remember, there is still hope even if biological children are not in your future.

Oh and I agree with the others who say you should find a new doctor.  If your insurance will cover IUI, you should find a doctor who will support you if that's what you want to do!

Hi Sarah,

Thank you for your post... I am getting a second opinion... have had it so close and didn't even think of it until lexa mentioned about her ob/gyn also specializing in fertility issues..so does mine... I called today and my appt with her is on Dec 1st (she is actually on maternity leave herself).

About adoption...we are not there yet...but I would do it.. but my hubby thinks is way too early for that step.

Thanks.. :-)

I agree with Ann and many others.  You need to get a new dr.  Even if it means driving for an hour or two...you need to find a new dr. 

If IUI is the route that you feel is best for you, and your dr won't do it - get another.  If your husband doesn't understand why you're looking for another dr - tell him.  Tell him that the first dr is full of **** tell him you just want a 2nd opinion to make sure everything that should be done is being done, tell him you decided you just don't like this dr any more...but stick to your guns - and FIND A NEW DR.  Are you hearing the theme here? 

I am about 9 months older than you  (you said you are 42 in December, I'm 43 in March).  Because you are working on a screaming biological clock, you don't have time to keep piddling around with a dr who's not working his best with you and your issues.  Are you aware that clomid can reduce the amount of EWCM you need to get pregnant?  When I took clomid, I was about as dry as the Sahara Desert.  Chances are your dr's not telling you that.  Do your research, read online about the meds he's giving you, the side effects of it....be your own patient advocate.

Now this is going to be where I kick you in the ass - and it's done 'with love,' so I hope you take it that way...from one 'old woman' to another trying to get pg - You can have a day or so to feel sad and depressed that it's not working for you - YET...but you can only do that once AF comes each month.  Then you reach down, pull up your boot straps and quit feeling sorry for yourself - which is where the hopelessness comes from.  It does you no good and just brings on more hopelessness.  If someone like me - who gets pregnant relatively easily for my age - can keep carrying on and keep trying, after five miscarriages and listening to almost every dr I've spoke to pretty much 'pshaw' me and tell me 'of course you're having miscarriages, you're 40+ years old!' then someone like you can keep trying too.  There are no guarantees it's going to happen for you - or me or any of the other dozens of women facing fertility problems on this forum and around the world.  However, if you give in to the hopelessness and quit really trying...it's pretty much a guarantee it's not going to happen for you. 

I know it would be a financial burden for you - and it would take some research on your part - but since IVF costs so much in the U.S., have you ever considered doing a 'medical tourism' thing and trying IVF overseas?  There are many countries in the world with first class fertility clinics who can do it for about 1/5 or the price of having it done in the U.S., and they're used to do it for 'medical tourists.'  It would mean being there for a few weeks - but could be worth it.  Countries that I know do it are India, Bangkok, Manila, South Africa, and several countries in South America.  I believe it may also be available in Canada...and I think I read online that it's about $5,000 in Canada.  I believe South African medical tourist clinics that do IVF specialize in older women. 

Anyways....I'll get off my soapbox now...I hope it works out for you and that you're holding a baby soon...and I hope I haven't offended you.  Didn't you say that you think you ovulated a week or so ago?  So technically you're in the 2ww?  Or did I miss something and AF came? 

Edited for typo.

Hi Holly,

Thank you for your post..and not I am not offended.. I appreciate it... I will get a 2nd opinion..like I mentioned in my other replies, my own ob/gyn she also specializes in fertility issues.. I will be seeing her in Dec 1st.  She is on maternity leave herself at the moment.  I think she could be very aggressive since I already have a history with her.

I also check the insurance and there are a few doctors (RE) in the network that we could get opinion.  I guess I was really on a down mood when I originally wrote this post... you are completely right.

About going overseas for any procedure... I am sooooo afraid to do that... it's not even funny.
I just had the recent experience with my dad - he is worse than when he went to have a procedure done (of course, their decision was stupidity) but anyway... I am sure overseas in those countries they have great procedures but we never know what might happen and then at the end it might cost more money than having done the procedure here in the US even paying the price they ask here.  Also, my employer would be an issue too... I know there is the FMLA but where I work they find any excuse if you start taking too much time off to get rid of you.. I know these may sound like stupid excuses but there is also a lot to consider.  That will put a lot of stress on me which would be unnecessary.

I will keep a positive attitude like you... Thank you for "shaking me " out of my soap box and slapping me to reality....

yes, I did ovulated the other day and we did have relations a couple of days... it wasn't planned ironically... unlike with the treatment the deed must be done...

But I will get a 2nd opinion (from my ob/gyn) and a 3rd from another RE.. so that I know all my options..but really for these couple of months I want to concentrate on losing more weight..
The better I feel, the more relaxed I would be and the treatments might work like a charm...
Losing some more weight at my weight..will actually gain me a bit of time (if that makes sense)...

And yes.. I guess I am technically on the 2ww.... so we'll see...

Thanks again...