Totally losing my hope

Well.. I did check with my employer's medical plan and they don't cover IVF..they do cover artificial insemination but to me that is not great.  I was hoping maybe we have an opportunity w/hubby's medical plan but is the same as this year.

I am guessing that artificial insemination is the IUI.  However, my dr only uses the IUI if the male has fertility issues as motility and other conditions which my hubby doesn't fall into any of those categories.

I am really really really speechless... it seems that my dream of becoming a mom is getting harder to come true.

Obviously I will continue on my weight loss and give the treatments a try again but with Clomid...and talk to the dr again about IUI when we return at the beginning of the year.

It just seems so unfair how some women can get pregnant so easily and those are the ones that throw and abandon their babies in the trash.....  Those of us *****ally want them can't get them....

Right now I have put everything regarding job/career (was considering career change) to put priority on this because this is stressful enough.

I better just come to the realization that it might never happen because I don't want to get my hopes up to just crash and burn.  If I don't have any hope, if it doesn't happen, well...the result will be the same...and if for some gracious miracle it does happen, then I will be happy.

I really don't know what else to think....

Thanks for listening...

I don't really have any 'advice' other than; hang in there.  I know how it feels to want something so bad and do everything you know how to get it yet still not succeed.  Try to remain confident that this is the path you are meant to be on right now.

You can get whatever you want. If your dr won't do IUI based on your husband not qualifying under that dr's requirements... go find another dr who will give you IUI! Most insurance companies don't cover IVF or they will but only after a few failed IUI's. My last ins co would approve IVF after 6 failed IUI's. I'm 40 now, TTC starting next month and technical we're "infertile" because we're a lesbian couple. My obgyn gave us 3 cycles to "try it on our own" (aka: home insemination) before she would want me to go to a fertility clinic for IVF. IVF is soooooooo expensive, we're just pray pray praying for success with home insemination.

Keep your hopes up and stay the course. You will have your baby. Don't give up!

I am going to be blunt.  YOUR DOCTOR SUCKS.  FIND ANOTHER ONE.

Your doctor is in the dark ages if they only do IUI for certain male factor.  That CANNOT be a true RE.  Reproductive Endocrinologists do IUIs every day -- especially for unexplained IF.  

Seriously, find someone more progressive, PLEASE.  If you want your dream to come true -- YOU have to take control of it.

Thank you for all your posts.

Ann,... I will definitely ask the Dr for this procedure if I need to.  The bigger problem is now that my hubby thinks that the Dr's opinion is what it is.  The only roadblock I have or will have in the future is that my hubby questions me if think the dr doesn't know what he is talking about.

We'll see... I will still keep my faith and my hope because miracles may happen.
I am trying my hardest to lose more weight...I still have like 70 lbs to be under 200's so I never know what might happen.

Losing more weight it will only help me a lot for the treatments to be more successful.  Like I mentioned on my previous posts before... Dr didn't say to stop treatment now...but my husband and I decided to work on weight loss and try to relax about the whole thing.

I truly believe that if I am meant to be a mom I will be..... I just have to hang on but somedays is very very hard...

1. I agree with Ann, you need another Dr. or atleast a second opinon. No doctor EVER knows everything and is 100% correct.

2. It is unfair that some women get to have kids so easy. I feel your pain there. there was a time where I would hate women I saw in the store because they could have kids and I couldn't. Unfortunately it's a really unhealthy mindset and will only bring you heartache. Life is just plain not fair... it sucks, but that's the way it is.

3. Miracles do happen, and it is easier for them to happen when you are at your healthiest. So keep working on it. It will only help things! :)

4. I don't think you should EVER give up your dream of being a mom. There are tons of women who are wonderful mothers to children they didn't give birth too. I am a HUGE supporter of adoption. There are so many unloved children who just want someone to love them, someone to kiss their boo boos and want their sloppy kisses. I have a friend who after 15 years of infertility and 4 lost babies adopted a beautiful little girl. She is perfect for them and completes them in ways that no one ever would have imagined. I know it's hard to think about right now, but please don't ever give up that dream. Hearing your little one call you "mommy" isn't lessened by the fact that you didn't give birth to them.

Don't give up, the ones we wait for the longest.... are worth the wait. :) 

HI Victoria.

Thank you for your post...  I know miracles do happen... I am keeping the faith...

Yes, I would consider adoption..but hubby feels we are not ready for that yet.. we haven't tried that long... but definitely I would do it in a heartbeat.  I have couple of friends who have adopted and it's really like you said... they love them as much.

I know it's not even close to the comparison so PLEASE don't get offended but it's just to show that I do understand about the adoption... It's like when you have a pet.. you love them like crazy....like if they were humans... obviously you didn't give birth to them, nor we are the same species but we love them unconditionally..

I can't imagine how it would be to raise a child... it would be the most rewarding thing in the world!!!

Well.. see... only God knows what is in store for us..

no offense taken... I understand it's not the same :) I'm glad that you realize it's an option- some people don't. I also understand not having tried long enough.

Good luck.... never give up!

Now sweetie I want you to hear me on this one....DON'T GIVE UP HOPE!!!!!!!! I was in your boat for a very long time trying to conceive my son Tyler who is now 3. We tried for 4 years and I was so exhausted and ready to give up hope. BUT I FOUGHT THE MEDICAL SYSTEM.... First you have to drop your DOC and find a OB/GYN who is more agressive when it comes to "Infertility". I had a super lax doctor who would have me doing everything from basal temp readings, to Clomid for months and months on end, but she didn't really do much else. I switched OB's and found one who was aggressive. She put me through test, after test and found I had uterine fibroids. Now mind you for 4 years I was a try this and try that lab rat for my lax OB. All that time it was fibroids in my uterus so large it blocked both fallopian tubes. Guess what, after surgery to remove those fibroids I got pregnant the VERY NEXT MONTH!!! I was told I couldn't have babies and I was infertile....etc, etc...all along it was Fibroids blocking my tubes.

To sum it up...I also stayed what the older folks call "PRAYED UP!" Not sure if you're a religious woman, but I am so I'm going to pray for you everyday until you have a baby in your womb you hear me girlfriend!!! BUT don't give up, because I'm not going to for you :) You should watch this documentary called "The Secret" and hopefully that can get atleast your thoughts in the mind of thinking positive. I was where you are right now, trust me....I KNOW your pain. But we have got to fight harder. You deserve this.

~~Gina

Hi Gina, Thank you so much for your post. I have had all tests done...I don't have any blockage, any fibroids..I will keep my hope up. I do have the dvd of "the Secret" I should watch it again. I might do an appt with my ob/gyn she treats infertility too. Thank you for your prayers. Really appreciate it. Have a great day!