One Thing After Another......
So the stress keeps piling up........
My bf has been trying to get out of his lease so he can move in with me. His landlord refuses and he cannot find anyone to sublet. Then my dad took the bf's car for a state inspection to his mechanic, thinking if anything was wrong we could get it fixed inexpensively and possibly make payments. Well, it failed the inspection because of a crack in the windshield........the mechanic doesn't do glass. So dad took it to a place that does glass and there is more money.....So, we continue to pay two of everything. And we are down to one car for at least the next week.
The bf wants to try and take on some tutoring, in addition to his teaching assistant work and class load, which is admirable, but the baby and I will suffer if he takes on anything else. His graduate coursework is tough this semester so he will have a lot of work to put into that. Then grading and teaching......
Just overwhelmed again today......that seems to be the norm, not the exception anymore. Then I get short tempered with him, because I am so overwhelmed with everything. Not sure which way to turn or what to do.......and still trying to stay calm for the sake of the baby.
As I said in an earlier post, even on my income alone, I make $20.00 a month too much to qualify for WIC. I guess I just keep plugging along and do the best I can........I have to for the little one that will be coming in just a short while....
thanks for listening.....AGAIN!
My bf has been trying to get out of his lease so he can move in with me. His landlord refuses and he cannot find anyone to sublet. Then my dad took the bf's car for a state inspection to his mechanic, thinking if anything was wrong we could get it fixed inexpensively and possibly make payments. Well, it failed the inspection because of a crack in the windshield........the mechanic doesn't do glass. So dad took it to a place that does glass and there is more money.....So, we continue to pay two of everything. And we are down to one car for at least the next week.
The bf wants to try and take on some tutoring, in addition to his teaching assistant work and class load, which is admirable, but the baby and I will suffer if he takes on anything else. His graduate coursework is tough this semester so he will have a lot of work to put into that. Then grading and teaching......
Just overwhelmed again today......that seems to be the norm, not the exception anymore. Then I get short tempered with him, because I am so overwhelmed with everything. Not sure which way to turn or what to do.......and still trying to stay calm for the sake of the baby.
As I said in an earlier post, even on my income alone, I make $20.00 a month too much to qualify for WIC. I guess I just keep plugging along and do the best I can........I have to for the little one that will be coming in just a short while....
thanks for listening.....AGAIN!
Sorry you are having a rough day! Some days are like that when nothing goes right. I also know what you mean about the time v. money issue. My husband wants to take another job and start classes soon so he will not be home almost ever. That's not acceptable because we didn't work this hard for me to be a single parent. I just always remember, this, too shall pass! It feels bad now but it won't always feel this way. Hang in there!
336lbs 6/19/06 - 198 lbs - 6/19/10 
138 lbs gone forever!!!
We have our miracle: Jakob Makhi born 4-15-10; 4 lbs. 10 oz. 22" long.
Just remember that this baby's coming...and all the stressing about what can happen or should happen...is irrelevant. Stressing about it's not going to fix it or change it. Right now you just need to focus on keeping yourself - and thus the baby - healthy.
Re your bf taking on more work - he's doing what he has to do to make sure you and the baby are taken care of. Yes...it's going to be hard for you...but you both have to do what's best for all of you. Hopefully it won't be forever - as soon as he finishes his school, he'll be able to get a job paying enough he won't have to take on 'extra' work, then he'll be there more for you and the baby. You're likely to find that the next year or so once the baby's here are going to keep your life in upheaval trying to figure out how to work things financially, day care wise, where to live, etc.
I'm not sure what to tell you re your bf's lease. Check with the local housing/rental laws about reasons to legally break a lease w/o incurring crazy fees. I'd think there must be exceptions to the 'rule' on breaking it. Tell him to read the fine print on the lease and look for a loophole....and possibly consult an attorney and see what they can tell him. It may cost a few hundred dollars for an attorney to write a letter or something...but that's cheaper than keeping two apartments.
I totally get where you're coming from re the WIC. When I had my son 15 years ago, I was on half pay to extend my maternity leave (one week w/pay, one week w/o pay), and my husband was on disability for workers comp due to an injury at work when I was 7 months pregnant. I applied for food stamps to help out...and I was $6 over the limit and not qualified for the food stamps. Several women at the food stamp office told me to just tell them my husband had left me - reducing the income to only my half pay income and I'd qualify...but I wasn't willing to be the example they'd make for welfare fraud. I was so upset I left in tears. I did, however, qualify for WIC based on my reduced income and my husband's disability income.
Will you be on full paid maternity leave? Or LWOP? If your pay will go down after the baby's here, re-apply at that time. I was told by WIC in NY (remember...WIC and welfare are two separate things) - when I told them that I had gone back to work and my income went up just in case they had to discontinue the benefits due to the larger income - that once approved, you were approved for the entire year based on the income at the time of applying...and that you didn't have to requalify until the following year. Obviously at the end of the year, once I was back to work, I didn't qualify...but the WIC helped tremendously w/just the formula and milk alone that first year.
It depends on how your state operates - whether it goes by the 'qualify once for the year,' or whether you have to update re changes in household income and they'll cut it off if the household income goes up...make sure you follow the rules, but see if you can work it to fit your needs. If it's a 'qualify once for the year,' and if you have one month (or however many pay statements required by your state) that meet their lower income requirements, reapply based on that lower pay. Bear in mind though that when/if your bf moves in w/you, his income is then included with the household income...so if your state's a 'qualify once for the year,' and they tell you that you don't have to update re increases in income after qualfying until the next year when you re-apply, ...then you'd need to apply/qualify before he moves in. Make sure you clarify re the income and if it increases what happens, though...you don't want to be committing fraud against them and getting in trouble.
Hopefully I'm making sense what I'm saying...let me know if I've confused you.
Re your bf taking on more work - he's doing what he has to do to make sure you and the baby are taken care of. Yes...it's going to be hard for you...but you both have to do what's best for all of you. Hopefully it won't be forever - as soon as he finishes his school, he'll be able to get a job paying enough he won't have to take on 'extra' work, then he'll be there more for you and the baby. You're likely to find that the next year or so once the baby's here are going to keep your life in upheaval trying to figure out how to work things financially, day care wise, where to live, etc.
I'm not sure what to tell you re your bf's lease. Check with the local housing/rental laws about reasons to legally break a lease w/o incurring crazy fees. I'd think there must be exceptions to the 'rule' on breaking it. Tell him to read the fine print on the lease and look for a loophole....and possibly consult an attorney and see what they can tell him. It may cost a few hundred dollars for an attorney to write a letter or something...but that's cheaper than keeping two apartments.
I totally get where you're coming from re the WIC. When I had my son 15 years ago, I was on half pay to extend my maternity leave (one week w/pay, one week w/o pay), and my husband was on disability for workers comp due to an injury at work when I was 7 months pregnant. I applied for food stamps to help out...and I was $6 over the limit and not qualified for the food stamps. Several women at the food stamp office told me to just tell them my husband had left me - reducing the income to only my half pay income and I'd qualify...but I wasn't willing to be the example they'd make for welfare fraud. I was so upset I left in tears. I did, however, qualify for WIC based on my reduced income and my husband's disability income.
Will you be on full paid maternity leave? Or LWOP? If your pay will go down after the baby's here, re-apply at that time. I was told by WIC in NY (remember...WIC and welfare are two separate things) - when I told them that I had gone back to work and my income went up just in case they had to discontinue the benefits due to the larger income - that once approved, you were approved for the entire year based on the income at the time of applying...and that you didn't have to requalify until the following year. Obviously at the end of the year, once I was back to work, I didn't qualify...but the WIC helped tremendously w/just the formula and milk alone that first year.
It depends on how your state operates - whether it goes by the 'qualify once for the year,' or whether you have to update re changes in household income and they'll cut it off if the household income goes up...make sure you follow the rules, but see if you can work it to fit your needs. If it's a 'qualify once for the year,' and if you have one month (or however many pay statements required by your state) that meet their lower income requirements, reapply based on that lower pay. Bear in mind though that when/if your bf moves in w/you, his income is then included with the household income...so if your state's a 'qualify once for the year,' and they tell you that you don't have to update re increases in income after qualfying until the next year when you re-apply, ...then you'd need to apply/qualify before he moves in. Make sure you clarify re the income and if it increases what happens, though...you don't want to be committing fraud against them and getting in trouble.
Hopefully I'm making sense what I'm saying...let me know if I've confused you.
Holly
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