just venting.....

Some days....i just need to get rid of some stress....I just don't think I can take any more. Hubby's daughter, who has been the root cause of quite a few of our problems, checked herself into the mental hospital this weekend. Long story short, they keep her less than 48 hrs (basically stable & back out) but  here is the thing...she has no where to go; I have stated that she cannot come back into our home, due to her refusal to do anything to help herself (i.e, finish school, get job, etc.) so they believe she may be bipolar, now discussing multiple personality, & she checked in for substance abuse. How in the world could do they do the disservice of letting her out? I pushed DH to fight back & ask those direct questions; nothing happened; they still released her. he wants to know where is he supposed to bring her? I have put my foot down that we could continue to help her in other ways but not in our home. It happened once for 6 months & was a complete disaster & I just cannot put my kids back through that again.

We can't stop fighting over her, add that to the stress of the BK, new baby, etc & I just do not think I can take any more. I think this is going to be the end of our marriage.

I even gave him that as his way out; take her & go, get an apartment & live with her. His concern is that of a safe home for her; he can provide that; i cannot. It is just a mess. I feel for the situation he is also in, but like I told him & our counselor, the mama gloves are on & I have to protect my kids too. Period.

I just don't know what to do. I am so stressed and can't seem to find a way to get this resolved. So i guess, just thanks for listening. Uggh....wish I was anywhere but here today. :-(

How old is she and where is her mom?

You really have to protect the younger ones, at least I think so. And you really haven't said you don't want to help her since you said you would help, just not in your house. Maybe you should see a therapist. It can help. As much as I love my hubby I was ready to leave cause of someone else in our life. We are still together and happier than before.

Good luck. *hugs*

Well, for one thing, if she voluntarily checked herself in she can voluntarily leave whenever she wishes. You generally cannot be held against your will in a mental health facility unless you are actively suicidal or homicidal. And unless she is a minor, they do not have to tell your husband or anyone else her medical details due to privacy laws.
You cannot force someone to seek help for their mental health or for substance abuse. If she really is bipolar, it may be difficult to convince her seek help and stay on medications.

Well, the first thing would be to find out exactly what her problem is. She needs to see a pyschiatrist for an official diagnosis, and go from there. If she is bi-polar, it would explain a lot. The meds available (lithium, ect) usually start working immedietely. I hope she has medical insurance. if she does, look for a private doctor as opposed to one in a clinic or that accepts medicaid. It can be hard to find one that is good but keep trying. What state are you in? Get an official diagnosis and that will help pave the way. Good luck.

Stick to your guns and keep those Momma gloves on for the little ones. I regret I didn't leave sooner for the very same reason. Do not give in!!!

I'm so sorry you have to deal with such a difficult situation.  I personally hate the mental health system - not sure if it's just in my state, or nationwide.  I work for the police department, and people call all the time because loved ones who are suffering from mental illness are out of control/suicidal, etc.  It's really sad.  We have one mental health facility in town, and if they are full, there's nothing we can do.  Additionally, we can hold them in protective custody for 48 hours, then it's up to the facility whether or not they will keep them - sometimes requires a court order, etc.   It's just so hard to get people the help they need.  That said, I agree that she needs to be somewhere other than where your little ones are.  It sounds like she's an adult or close to it (right??) and might really benefit from living on her own or somewhere else.  Stick to your guns.
Good luck!