Baby shower questions

Okay, as far as etiquette goes, I'm clueless. I really never planned to have a shower. I'm 37 years old, and I almost feel like I'm too old for it, even though this is my first pregnancy. I'm also not good at all at being the center of attention. It will be an agonizing day for me!

So, I'm sure I will only have one shower. What is the average number of people to invite? I guess that's kind of dumb, huh? Everyone has different sizes of families and different numbers of friends? Okay, forget that one...I'm just worried that I will either invite people that I shouldn't or forget someone I should invite...

My last job was at a bank and I'd like to invite most of the ladies there (small bank). Would it be okay to send a blanket invitation to the bank, or do I need to send individual ones to each lady?

Should I give money to the gals that have offered to put the shower on? I know one for sure is strapped with her own life as it is, I don't want her to worry about more money expenses.

What am I expected to do for the ones giving the shower? A gift, if so, what kind of value?

Anything else you think I should now, feel free....I'm clueless!!!

Thanks,
Kina

I am right there with you about being clueless about stuff.

I am older than you (38) and this is our first and I am having about 5 (two at home and three here. One from the MIL, one for my church friends, and one at the hubby's job.). I hate being the center of attention like that but I have a feeling I will relax when the time comes. We will both survive this. LOL

I would think a blanket invite would be fine, but I am more laid back than most with this kind of stuff.

I don't know what to do about the money. I would think they would do it within their means but you never know. (My MIL doesn't have the money she used to and she is doing a big one. Personally, if she goes overboard, it's not my fault when I would have been happy with something smaller and more casual.)

I am going to get a gift for my friends that did the church one. Not sure what to get them yet but I will keep it kinda small and inexpensive. I will prolly talk to the hubbies and see what they really like and try to do something like that.

I was 39 with my 1st child.  I had a lot of showers cause we had already been married 13 years and ttc so everyone was overjoyed and wanted to give us showers.  I hate being center of attention to.  so weird everyone looking at you.  lol lol  A blanket invitation is fine for the ladies at your old job.  I might would "offer" to say send my own invitations or bring some food most likely the ones giving the shower will decline all offers cause after all this is a day for you.  But I did offer to help.  I wouldn't offer money per say but just something along sending the invites yourself.  Also I would ask them if they are ok with you inviting the few more ladies.  As far as gifts I bought each lady/ladies that did my shower those nice plugs ins from bath and body works.  I think I caught them on sale for like $5 each or maybe 2 for $5 cant remeber now.  There are a lot of really inexpensive cute ideas for hostess gifts that wont break you.  Have fun at your shower and BTW it is WONDERFUL being an older mom. 
Denise

hah don't think of asking this on The Bump. They are full of "oh my God that's so ettiquette less."

I have 4 hostesses for my shower, whi*****ludes all friends, family and close coworkers. So we did an evite, it was just easier to send and manage the RSVPs that way. With ane vite, you can also add people as you remember.

I know what I wanted as favors and some decorations and stuff so I just bought them myself. One hostess offered to pay for it and I said, nah, since that was my own pickiness.

For the hostesses, I got mini cakes that say thanks across the top from a bakery that we all love.

My sister is handling all the food but I'll probably just pay for it.