Am I not giving my baby enough attention?

Harmony is such an easy baby she only cries if she really needs something and then stops. She is content most of the time and doesn't seem to care if there is a lot of noise around or not. I just feel like maybe I'm taking advantage of that and not giving her enough attention. I feed her about every 3 hours and the whole process of changing and feeding takes around 45 min to 1 hour then afterwards if she's awake I'll talk to her for about 10 minutes on average (usually until she starts getting fussy and tired) then I put her either in her swing or bouncy chair where she is content to stay until she falls asleep. I can actually shower, give attention to my 4 year old, and do some things around the house. My first daughter Ruby was high maintainance and I had to hold her constantly, I couldn't even pee without her freaking out. So I think I feel like I'm not giving Harmony enough attention because of how much attention I gave Ruby. Does that make since? Does it sound like I'm giving enough needed attention to Harmony? I don't want her to grow up being insecure or have issues cause I wasn't holding her enough. I can't seem to find any info online about this, all I see is to hold your baby when they're crying and that you can't spoil them by holding them too much, well I don't want to neglect her either. Am I overreacting?

Your doing just fine!!! You said yourself that your oldest needed alot of attention, that was her personality. This little girl seems laid back, which is a good thing. She will let you know  if she needs you :) Maybe to make yourself feel better you can carve out a special time that is just you and her, doing just cuddling and reading a story, or sing her a song or something. But seriously, I think you are doing a wonderful job hun!

Thank you. It is definately hard to make special time for just her and me when my 4 year old wants to be involved in everything baby.

I think you're doing fine.  If you were ignoring her when she cried or fussed, I'd say you were neglecting her, but you're not.  Enjoy your little one.  As she grows, she'll be needing more attention, and I'm sure you'll come through. 

Try not to be hard on yourself.

I am definately not neglecting her as I usually get to her before she has a hard cry but I just was a little concerned about if I was giving enough time to her. It's hard with a 4 year old who still needs alot of attention.

Hey, at least you're still sane! My twins are completely different- one is really high maintenance and gets held more than the other, *****ally only cries if he needs something. He does, however, wait patiently for his turn and then he will cry until I ive him the holding time he thinks he needs, so he certainly isn't super passivbe about it. I can tell when he's waiting his turn- it's kind of cute. It's hard to know how much attention to give, and lots of philosophies about it. But I try to take a few minutes to be with him when possible- Just do what feels natural!

Carrie

I have no idea how you do it with twins! That amazes me. I think I'd really feel like I wasn't giving enough attention to two! Sounds like you have a system down that works good.

I think you have one of those mythical "good babies" and you can just relax and enjoy it!  Even if she were high maintenance, you probably wouldn't be able to give her the same attention as you did your first child.  Maybe make a point of keeping her in a busy area for the times when she's quiet and awake so she can hear conversation and watch your movement and that of her older sis, but I wouldn't stress about it.  If you feel you're not holding her enough, pop her in a carrier or sling if you like using those and let her feel you vacuum the floor or wipe counters or whatever.  Or maybe even get your stroller and keep her in that if she can recline comfortably in it - when my daughter wasn't mobile yet I'd often just drive her around the house in it when I was going about my chores so she'd have something to watch and listen to.

I do have a front carrier and I use it when we go for walks outside. I really like it too, maybe I'll try it in the house.

Amelia is the same way - she is perfectly happy hanging out in her swing or in her bouncy seat. I think it's great. We have cuddle time and she cries when she wants to be held, fed or changed and I never let her cry long. But she is totally happy to hang out and watch the world go by. We do have tummy time, play time, and I am always talking to her even if I am not right next to her. My theory (wether it is right or not) is that this might help her to be more independent as she grows up.

I am sure that Harmony is perfectly fine!