Mother knows best??

Ok, little bit of back story, my birth mother wasnt involved in my life, my dad remarried to my "stepmother" when i was 6 and she has been here ever since, she has two children of her own (one daughter who has a daughter and one son)

Well, DH and I have a very good idea of what we want for our daughter, as far as what foods we want her to eat not eat, toys or tv's to play with etc.   We are her parents and decide what is helpful or what isnt in her development in all stages....right? 

Apparently not!  My mother seems to think that I am a--and I will actually quote her--"Stupid Mom" because I dont want my daughter to have a lot of the upbringing that I had.  Not that I turned out horrible, but there are just other choices I want to make for her....

For example, my mother give my niece coke and a little debbie honey bun every day after she gets out of school.  SHES 5!!!  Now, dont get me wrong, Im not judging, If you do this for your child thats fine...its your child.  However, I was obese all my life and until 2009 was morbidly obese at which time I elected to have gastric bypass surgery to help me develop a healthier lifestyle.  I dont in ANY way think its ok for MY CHILD to have soda, candy, or sugary snacks, when there are so many healthier choices.

Another example, my neice has been allowed to watch endless hours of TV.  Dont get me wrong she is a brilliant little 5 yr old, but I dont think a TV should replace bonding and one on one time just because "I have things to do". Ever see how a 3 yr old who is addicted to their paci acts when they cant have it...this is how my neice is about TV. 

Ok so...history over back to the point at hand; I was talking with my mom today after my dr appointment and explained to her that I discussed with MY dr that if for some reason he isnt there when I go into labor and I have to use the DR on call, if that DR has to use the vacuum, will he allow me to elect for a C-Section.  My MIL is a NICU nurse and has told me the benefits and risks associated with a Vacuum suction, and I would rather risk myself in a csection as to the baby in a Vacuum extraction. 

Also the recent issue with Pampers and their "dry-max" diapers, I have bought MY DAUGHTER nothing but huggies (mind you I havent asked anyone to buy them, my DH and I have bought every pack we have) Well our hospital uses and provides the pampers, so when I packed our bag I put in a package of our huggies to take because its not worth the risk to me if she just happens to have a reaction to the dry max.  Ya know??

Do yall think Im being a "stupid mom" or am I justified in doing and saying these things because its MY daughter.  I have explained to my mom that this is my baby, she had her two and raised me....her turn is over. She wants to be in the delivery room with us too and until recently I was ok, but I have a feeling shes gonna make me lose my cool and I will end up hurting her feelings at the last min by kicking her out.

Honestly Ladies...am I just a hormonal B**** Or is she WAY outta line? 

VENT OVER...SORRY SO LONG!

Not out of line at all. It's your child your choices!

I am just so annoyed, I hate that she is doing this and wish she would listen to me!!  Thanks for making me feel better!

Your mother needs to get over it. Its your child, and you will raise her as you see fit. She is outta line by judging you!

You are totally justified in your choices for your daughter!! I know DH and I are making choices that not everyone would - but it is our baby, no one elses.

I wanted my Mom in the delivery room with us because I knew she would keep ME calm and DH in line lol - but that is a totally personal choice.

You are doing the right thing!

Liz

Of course it is your baby and you should do waht you want. But, she's not even here yet so I think you are just being a tad bit paranoid :) I had a lot of ideas of how my daughter should be raised (all 1st time moms want everything perfect) but then yanno what? I had her, daily life and reality kicked in and I went with the flow. It may not always be practical and cost efficient to buy the top of the line diapers. I swore she wouldn'****ch tv but then my mom started putting sesame street for about 15 minutes a day, and it fascinated her. Not every single toy needs to be developmentally or age appropriate (as long as there is no safety hazard). The majority, sure but not all. Soda, big no-no. Not only is it bad for you in general but horrible for your teeth. But an occasional sweet treat won't kill your child. Denial will just make them more curious (and what about when they have a playdate at another home? Can't control everything)
BTW, I don't know what the diaper problem is you were talking about. But I had a daycare in my home for the past 10 years. Guess what diaper I loved best? Luvs, and they are cheaper then huggies. Relax a little!!!

I value your opinion as you are a mother....but just because you slipped up on your goals as a parent and let things slide, doesnt mean everyone does or will.  I was very strong willed about my surgery changes and am very stong willed about my child and the choices i make for her.

we tried to use other brands on my neice and found that luvs stink.  maybe they dont on all babies, but they have on every baby i know or have taken care of.  i just dont care for them...as for the diaper problem i was refering to it was the deal with babies getting chemical burns because of the dry max chemical in pampers. 

all goes back to my child my choice.  good luck to you and yours and thanks for the advice.

Actually, I didn't slip up on anything as a parent. I am just pointing out that it easy to say what you will and won't do before the baby comes. Unless you live in a glass bubble with your husband and baby, some of those ideas are not that practical. Are you staying home with her 24/7? Do you plan to home school her? There is some degree of outside influences that you will find out about once she is here. Like you said, choose your battles. But, good luck!

You make the decisions.  That's it.

And you don't owe ANYBODY any explanations.

bottom line is it is your child you made her and you will give birth to her and you will be the sole provider....I have a very specific way my daughter is taken care of, have things happened yes of course do i take precautions so they don't happen again yes....sometimes you will see you have to pick which battles you want to fight....

my SIL on my hubbys side gave our daughter pop at 9 months my hubby used the restroom and came back to find that out...he went to visit them while i was at work so now that side of the family does not get left alone with her. I was pissed!!! I can't change what happened but I can prevent it from happening again with them in particular.

and then i said no bottles after her first bday...well she turned 1 on may 17 and we r working on it she is down to just 1 or 2 its been a struggle.

not everything will be perfect but you can strive for perfect! 

on the note of huggies my daughter is allergic to pampers and also huggies snug n dry we actually use the huggies organic because it causes virtually no irritation so you have to do what is best for your child. I would cut something out of my life before I would make her have an irritated butt! EVERY child is different!

Totally agree with the tv thing 15min is not a big deal but Molly won****ch any tv at all she is always moving I don't see her being a tv fanatic...shes always playing, cruising and all over the place like my neice just sits and sits so more she is 2 months older than molly and she is also much bigger than Molly.

It was me and my hubby in the delivery room and it was WONDERFUL its such a special moment and it should be cherished...thats just my opinion though...i am one of those people who is always worried about others and would be like "do you need anything?" "are you hungry?" "are you thirsty" etc...but thats up to you and hubby.

This turned into a book sorry.....but no you are just being a mother thats all! :)