breastfeeding and depression Q? and a lil rant sorry...lol

So I have a few questions... First off has anyone had problems eating after having there kid? I have no appetite and I think it's why I am not making enough milk for my boys... I'm about to give up and just bottle feed...

Another question is... Is there a difference from postpartum depression and just regular being down or depressed... I am running on maybe 5 hrs a sleep at night total, I have no help from the hubby because he has to work in the morning and all day long so it's like a big flipping joke asking him for help... My boys are up every 2 hrs at least like clock work to eat... I can deal with that but then I have to get up with my daughter early in the morning and feed her... Well anywho I took the boys to there 2 week apt early this morning and the hubby had off so he could watch our daughter while I went... I stopped at the grocery store while I was out and when I got home the boys weren't even out of there car seats yet and the grocery's weren't put away and the boys had to eat and I needed to take my vitamins still and all this stuff and he's running out the door already...  **** I am surprised he fed our daughter breakfast... Now he wants to go fishing later on... If I don't get some rest I am gonna flip my lid... I think I am heading for some depression... It's like he wants to keep his distance from me lately and I just don't feel loved from him and idk... I have a headache 24/7 and it won't go away... I am making myself sick and on top of it I can't eat... Idk 

:/ Chrissy

Oh Chrissy.  It seems like your plate is real full.  Add the sleep deprivation, a toddler, and a seemingly inconsiderate husband and it is enough to make you feel down.  Is there anyone around that can help you at least temporarily?  I know I would help you if I were around you.

Sorry you are going through all of this.  Please try and eat and drink so you can up your milk supply.  You may want to stop now, but along the line you may wish that you had made some adjustments and given it some time.

Blessings,
Leila

I would have a heart to heart with hubby and ask for help. Men aren't always the most observant and many will typically "avoid" or just not to to avoid conflict. My hubby is a wonderful man but he could easily step over a pair of dirty socks on the floor for a month and it won't occur to him to pick them up and wash them. I have started leaving a list on a dry erase board - I don't tell him when it has to be done, just that it needs to be done. IE last night I left a list for him to clean the bathroom, take out the trash, empty the recycling and empty the dishwasher. All things that he does all the time but this is a gentle reminder. I saw that this morning he cleaned the bathroom but the other things weren't done yet. He'll get to them in the next day or 2 though.

I can't imagine having a toddler and 2 newborns - good luck!

Oh and I'd tell him if he wants to go fishing for 2 hours then you get a 2 hour un-irrupted nap later!

I had problems with my hubby at first also. He is in the army and he gets up for work at 3 am and gets home about 6 pm. I got so tired I felt I was falling apart. I finally sat down with him and told him what I needed from him and I was shocked that on Saturday nights it came to me my early night. I went to bed at 8 and would sleep till Hayvanns 1 or 2 am feeding and he would keep her in the livingroom so I would not hear them and wake up. It was so nice. Once a week I looked forward to my night and it helped so very much. I was happy I talked to him and told him what I needed. I hope you feel better soon!

I cannot imagine having 2 little ones and a toddler!

as for the appetite, I have non either, I am barley eating and I lost my milk at 2 weeks also, I'm sure its due to not eating.  I just dont have the time, I'd rather sleep than eat. 

Awe hun! I am worried about all of this, and i'm only having one!! Breasfeeding twins has got to be so hard, and you shouldnt feel like a failure if it dosent work. Maybe your husband is feeling overwhelmed, and dosent know how to handle the stress. Guys are so weird. Maybe you should tell him you how you are feeling. If you cant tell him face to face, maybe take time and write a letter and stick it in his lunchbox. Idk. Anyways, I hope things get easier for you, and please dont hesitate to vent to us anytime :) Thats what we're here for!

Hey Chrissy!  I feel ya on the sleep and food!  I had no appetite at all the first two weeks and had to force myself to eat at all.  I'd look up at the clock and it'd be 3pm and no food would have passed my lips...I'd just totally forget.  The bright side of this is I'm about at my pre prego weight.  The downside?  My milk supply is low.  So I am bottlefeeding and breastfeeding.  I still feel like all I do is feed her, but the baby is doing so much better now that all the pressure is not on me to feed her.

I'm no help on the hubbie thing. I'd kick his ass if my husband did that to me...LOL.  No, my husband takes at least 4 hours a day and makes me go to bed.  Maybe sit down and talk to him about how you feel.

with my 2 babies pre op, I had NO appetite for at least 3 weeks after I had both my babies. I remember with my last one, I had to gag down half a turkey sandwich and a banana and almost threw up. I hated eating food for a while and it scared me, but then my appetite always came back. I was just thirsty all the time.

Not being hungry can be part of the depression, which I found out from my doctor. I had probably the worst of all the PPD episodes after I had this baby 6 wks ago. I was eating about what I did post op just after I had my baby and that was for sure not enough to keep up my milk supply. I was having severe anxiety and depression and ended up going to the ER at 10 days PP with a panic attack. I ended up getting on meds for PPD and anxiety and stopped nursing my baby. I was sleep deprived and was worried about nursing taking all the nutrients from my body and I was going to suffer. Also, I was worried about me not eating enough to keep up a strong milk supply and my baby would suffer.

At the time, it was the best decision to stop b/f but I totally regret drying up my milk now. I tried two different times for a day to bring back my milk (by pumping) because I wanted to nurse him and hated bottle feeding. I loved the closeness and bonding, along with the nutrition that breastfeeding brought when doing it with my 2nd child. But it was too much for me to pump and I hated it, plus it'd take a few weeks to get my milk back and that wasn't worth it to me.

Your appetite will come back or if you are depressed, that could be what is keeping you from wanting or having the desire to eat. Once I got on some meds and they kicked in, my appetite came back. My doctor also told me that a symptom of depression is change in appetite, either lack of or overeating.

If you choose to not b/f anymore, make sure it's what you want to do because once you stop, it's so hard to get your milk back. Maybe talk to your doctor and get on meds for depression and then see if your appetite comes back and then you can eat more so you can continue to nurse your babies- there are many that are safe to take while b/f. GL to you!

I totally get the hubby problem- I'm worried about this too! I took some inspiration from your post though and told my hubby today (it's my b-day) that since he slept in until 10:30 am and was sweeping outside on the front porch that had a few (and I mean a few) leaves on it, and he comes inside and I looked at him from the couch, where I have barely had the energy to move from in the last two days and said that he could always clean the kitchen instead. Well, then I went and laid down in the spare room because I do feel like crap and am so irritated and emotional at nearly 36 weeks and he actually cleaned the kitchen! Usually he wouldn't. Your post got me thinking though that I am probably going to be in the same boat if I don't make it clear to him that he needs to help. Perhaps your hubby could take over care of your daughter while he's home. That might be helpful. As for the breastfeeding, I admire that you're trying. I never got any milk in with my daughter and I can tell the same things are happening this time that happened last time that supressed and blocked my milk, so I have little hope of being able to actually do it. In the end, formula works too, and it can really help simplify life with multiples, at least that's what I've read. But, you have to decide. Good luck with the conversation! Just tell him when you're calm and not super annoyed. Keep us posted and vent all you want! 

Carrie

Im so sorry you are going thru so much hun! I know what it's like w/a new baby, but not toddler and new twins! I'm praying for you very much! As for the hubby part, I agree you must communicate and voice the support you need, not only for yourself but for your babies as well.  I didn't have much appetite in the begining as well & I relied on shakes, (with powered oatmeal in em to help milk supply) and soups, (which might be easy for you if you have limited time). The milk supply will go down with lack of food and lack of rest, and if you don't fix that, the milk will go away altogether. I was making a lot of milk and always exhausted, thirsty, and probably depressed as well.  Good luck, I'll be praying for ya, and please keep us posted and get help.  You'll never regret getting help, but might regret it if you don't...