Prayers needed for SIL and babies & mini vent

Hey all - I know I haven't posted a lot here, in fact I haven't posted a lot anywhere.  Seems ever since my BFP I've kind of pulled away and into myself.  Not sure what that's all about, but it is what it is right now.

So, I'm pregnant 19 weeks, and my SIL (brother's wife) is also pregnant 18 weeks.  They've been trying for 3-4 years and finally got pregnant with twins after their 2nd round of IVF.  She has had the hardest time with the pregnancy and I feel so bad for her.  First they struggled for so long to get pregnant, then she struggles with horrible morning sickness, fibroids that have put her in the hospital several times and now today the anatomy scan showed one of the babies has water on the brain and the femur measured small (both soft markers for downs). 

I haven't had a chance to talk to my brother yet, he's not answering the phone, so I'm not sure exactly what their next step is.  I do know the next appointment they have is in 2 weeks, so I can only imagine the stress they will be under until then.  Please say some prayers that either the markers are wrong or somehow the baby's issues turn out to be nothing major.

It's a bit hard for me to balance how I'm feeling about it all right now.  I'm excited and happy that things are going along fine with me and our baby, but I'm heartbroken by how difficult this is turning out to be for them.  I think I'm also dealing with some background jealously about having to share the "spotlight", not only with that SIL, but my husband's sister is pregnant again too (has a 5 month old and is 5ish weeks pregnant). While I know it's completely irrational somehow I think our baby will get lost in the craziness of all the other babies being born around us.

Thanks for listening!

Debbi

I find your honesty about having mixed feelings about all of it VERY refreshing.  It is hard when your special time is blended with a batch of other peoples secial times, expecially when they potentially dramatic and difficult issues to deal with inside of it all.  It would be far more fun to have everyone celebrating for a bit for your happy healthy miracle...

I am no expert... but... I was sure at this point that they did genitic screening on the embryos before implanting them.  I have several friends that have gone thru IVF in the last 10 years, and of them the most receint were even allowed to choose the sex of the embryos implanted... no garontee which would stick if any but...

That said it seems that although the markers appear present, perhaps there is still a bit more hope then you might think that the soft markers are just that SOFT... and OFF TOO... and so that is what I will pray for... as well I will shoot some out to cover you too, in hopes that you have the pleasure of a comfy pregnancy and some time to celebrate it with all those you love.

Good luck and keep us posted!

i had identical twins, using clomid, and i was  a high risk preg, i was told 1 of my babys had a small femur, and he may have downs and he was smaller than the other and i should terminate him to save the other, i said NO i had faith they would both be healthy and i was right they were born via csection at 37w5d weighing 6lbs and 5lbs 8oz

so point is sometimes tests are wrong 

I totally understand about feeling like you're sharing the spotlight. When I found out I was pregnant 2 other ladies at work also found out and 2 of my best friends. We're all giving birth within a month of each other (with the exception of one of my friends who just had he little girl yesterday morning). I am the last one on the list and I feel like, by the time I have Rory, everyone will be over it and it will be old hat. I know it's irrational, but I just wanted to let you know I understand how you feel about it.

Also, I am sending up prayers for you SIL's little ones right now.

Tina

Praying for your brother and SIL. I know that they have been blessed with the two miracles that God intended for them to have. I am sure it will be a VERY LONG two weeks for them.

As for you Missy, know that we are all here for support. Every baby is special! I completely understand some of how you feel as in my husbands family there three babies due within a month (end of July his cousin {boy}, me in August {boy}, and then his other cousin first of September {girl}). My step-sister is due beginning of August and I am due the end of August. Plus, we didn't share our news until after the first trimester so we found out about everyone else having babies before we had even shared our news. I was afraid no one would care. Out of everyone in our families having babies, we are the only ones having our first. Plus, we struggled to get pregnant while everyone was having so called "accidents". I just know that to me my baby is so special. I don't care about the other babies because we prayed, struggled, and worked so hard to get pregnant and get a sticky bean and we have our gift from God. So, I tried to ignore the jealousy feelings and really focus on my joy.

You have worked hard for your miracle. Weight loss and then a loss. So, just look at that and focus on each baby is a miracle! I am ALWAYS here. We need to get together again soon. We keep saying that and never do :)

Traci

3 days before we found out we were pregnant, my husband's sister called to tell us she was 12 weeks pregnant. I was slightly upset ebcause I wanted our child to be the first grandchild, considering my husband's the oldest and this sister is the youngest at 24 and doesn't work and they just got married last year. I think I am finally over it but sometimes I still feel the whole, "damnit I wanted my baby to be the attention this Xmas." I think it's totally normal.

I hope your brother and SIL get some good news at their next appointment.

*giggle* I understand about having to share the spotlight. I am soooooooooo happy that I am the only cousin pregnant now. We had three babies born last year. So far no one else is preggers so I will have the only 2010 baby.

I was told the only test that is 100% is the amnio. You can't pay me enough to have one tho. Honestly, I would prepare for the worse (child having Down's) but hope for the best.