My Angel Baby.
I am very sorry for your loss. I too had a stillborn in 2003. I know your pain. It helps with the pain to share your story and pictures of your precious little one. I suggest you look into local support groups to help cope with this time of pain. The hurt never really goes away... it just changes over time and becomes easier to deal with. Please feel free to send me a message if you would like to talk. [email protected] and I will make time to speak with you if you like. Also, you can visit www.compassionatefriends.org as a resource for a Compassionate friends support group in your area. It is a support group for those who have lost children at any stage in life, from miscarriage - adulthood and for any purpose, natural loss, accident or homicide. The group helped me tremendously.
There will come a time when others that are close to you will feel it is 'time' for you to stop grieving. They just don't understand unless they have gone through this. They may also say things that are hurtful and inappropriate... they don't mean them. They are simply not prepared to help you through your grief. They think the things that they are saying are just words, but they will cut much deeper than they can imagine. Don't get angry... it's not their fault. They really do want to help.
All those reasons are reasons to seek a support group with your new 'peers'. They have been there, they have felt that loss, that hurt, that emptiness. They won't give your grief a time limit. I remember one woman who had lost her son was told by a friend that he had been gone XX amount of time and that it was time to stop grieving. The woman responded... "If a whole nation can grieve the loss of elvis for 20+ years, I can grieve for my son for however long I want" Don't let anyone dictate to you when to feel better. Everyone heals at different times.
Others will be uncomfortable when you talk to them about the death of an infant. They may act oddly or try and avoid you. Try to understand that it is hard for them to hear... but know that there are people out there who will listen to your story. It is YOUR story, your childs birth, your experience and you have the right to share that. It is very theraputic. You just have to find the right people to listen to it.
Here is a link to my little one. He is at the bottom of the page. His name was Avery. http://www.angelfire.com/va3/our_little_angel/Friends.html The family who did this page for their child Jeremiah, became good friends of ours. They lost their son a few days before we lost Avery. The hospital and a local funeral home had a ceremony every few weeks called an Enternment of Angels ceremony in which they buried all the infants lost during that time frame. It just so happened that Jeremiah and Avery we in the same casket together. They were friends for etenity in our eyes.
Again, I am very sorry for you loss. If you need support, seek it. If you need an ear, I offer it.
Hugs, love and Prayers
B
There will come a time when others that are close to you will feel it is 'time' for you to stop grieving. They just don't understand unless they have gone through this. They may also say things that are hurtful and inappropriate... they don't mean them. They are simply not prepared to help you through your grief. They think the things that they are saying are just words, but they will cut much deeper than they can imagine. Don't get angry... it's not their fault. They really do want to help.
All those reasons are reasons to seek a support group with your new 'peers'. They have been there, they have felt that loss, that hurt, that emptiness. They won't give your grief a time limit. I remember one woman who had lost her son was told by a friend that he had been gone XX amount of time and that it was time to stop grieving. The woman responded... "If a whole nation can grieve the loss of elvis for 20+ years, I can grieve for my son for however long I want" Don't let anyone dictate to you when to feel better. Everyone heals at different times.
Others will be uncomfortable when you talk to them about the death of an infant. They may act oddly or try and avoid you. Try to understand that it is hard for them to hear... but know that there are people out there who will listen to your story. It is YOUR story, your childs birth, your experience and you have the right to share that. It is very theraputic. You just have to find the right people to listen to it.
Here is a link to my little one. He is at the bottom of the page. His name was Avery. http://www.angelfire.com/va3/our_little_angel/Friends.html The family who did this page for their child Jeremiah, became good friends of ours. They lost their son a few days before we lost Avery. The hospital and a local funeral home had a ceremony every few weeks called an Enternment of Angels ceremony in which they buried all the infants lost during that time frame. It just so happened that Jeremiah and Avery we in the same casket together. They were friends for etenity in our eyes.
Again, I am very sorry for you loss. If you need support, seek it. If you need an ear, I offer it.
Hugs, love and Prayers
B
I'm so glad to see you reach out here Bridget - I knew you had been through something similar and that you would be able to give the best advice on reaching out, where to look for support, what to expect to go through etc. She'll need strength such as yours from those who've been there/done that and know what she's been through and will continue to go through. It's women like you who are there for the rest of us that keep me coming back to this board.
Holly
January 2008,
July 2008
December 2008
July 2009
September 2010
July 2011
Mom to Khaled
I am so sorry this has happened to you!! I just sit here and cry for you. I know she will be the first smiling face you see when you get to heaven. What a beautiful angel she is! I will pray that God will help you through this.
-Ashlie
Highest / DOS / Current / Goal / I've lost / Height / Size B4 wls / After wls
435 405 213 184 222 6ft 30/32 14/16
OMG...I'm so sorry. Elen's picture is beautiful...and I'm glad that you have a picture of her and that you shared it with us. God willing, eventually her picture will bring a small amount of comfort to you. I will be praying for strength and peace, as well as answers as to what happened, for you and your husband and family as you go through this horrible time with the loss of your little angel baby.
Again...I am so sorry you're going through this.
[[HUGS]]
Again...I am so sorry you're going through this.
[[HUGS]]
Holly
January 2008,
July 2008
December 2008
July 2009
September 2010
July 2011
Mom to Khaled
7-09
Vicky,
You have touched my heart in ways you can't even imagine. On June 9th, it will be 2 years since the death of my son Jesse, in utero. My labor was induced and I delivered my son. It broke my heart to no end. I was never given a reason. I WAS battling major anemia issues. Including IV iron and blood transfusions. I have no idea if that had anything to do with it.
My heart goes out to you. It's not often I can say that I know how someone feels, but I promise you, I DO!
I would never demean the feeling of having a miscarriage. Any loss of a child is hard. But the actual act of giving birth through the labor process to an unborn child is a feeling and emotion that can NEVER be explained. It is THE MOST heartbreaking thing I have ever endured. And it doesn't go away. The pain gets less but never diappears.
God Bless you and your beautiful daughter. I hope you find Love and peace. If you want to talk or email me.....PLEASE do! There are organizations and support for moms like us.
I don't know you, but have just fallen in love with you. You are my hero, and partner in a club that shouldn't even exist.
You have touched my heart in ways you can't even imagine. On June 9th, it will be 2 years since the death of my son Jesse, in utero. My labor was induced and I delivered my son. It broke my heart to no end. I was never given a reason. I WAS battling major anemia issues. Including IV iron and blood transfusions. I have no idea if that had anything to do with it.
My heart goes out to you. It's not often I can say that I know how someone feels, but I promise you, I DO!
I would never demean the feeling of having a miscarriage. Any loss of a child is hard. But the actual act of giving birth through the labor process to an unborn child is a feeling and emotion that can NEVER be explained. It is THE MOST heartbreaking thing I have ever endured. And it doesn't go away. The pain gets less but never diappears.
God Bless you and your beautiful daughter. I hope you find Love and peace. If you want to talk or email me.....PLEASE do! There are organizations and support for moms like us.
I don't know you, but have just fallen in love with you. You are my hero, and partner in a club that shouldn't even exist.
When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila & salt and give me a call!
I am so very very sorry for you loss, I am sitting here in tears as I can feel your pain. I think it is good that you came here posted and shared the picture of your beautiful baby girl with us, Elen will always be your perfect little angel.
We lost our baby Kamiren when she was ten days old for also no reason, our time with her was precious.
Talking helps so I 100% agree with Bridget that a support group would be a great resource.
You are right is heartbreaking and please know that you are not alone.
Hugs
Beth
We lost our baby Kamiren when she was ten days old for also no reason, our time with her was precious.
Talking helps so I 100% agree with Bridget that a support group would be a great resource.
You are right is heartbreaking and please know that you are not alone.
Hugs
Beth
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