Well it's official....

I just wanted to add my 2 cents for what it's worth. Take it as you may. Sorry it is a little long :D

I had a situation where I got pregnant, and I had almost everyone telling me that I was not ready for a baby. I knew that our situation was a wreck, heck it still is. We were living paycheck to paycheck, barely making it. We weren't married yet, and I had people and my boyfriend telling me to get an abortion. I may even thought about it once or twice, knowing we weren't financially or even mentally ready to take on the HUGE responsibility of another human. Needless to say, I decided that I was given this child for a reason. Whether it was to raise her to become something huge, like maybe I was carrying the person to find the cure for cancer or something (I know, I am a little hopeful :D ). I continued through the pregnancy (even gaining 100lbs in my first trimester, and LOTS of complications), but now I look at my little girl and could NEVER imagine my life without her. Making that decision was the best thing I ever decided in my life! She is AMAZING.

Then after she was born I went on a diet, and I was starting to lose weight and feel good about myself and I found out I was pregnant again. I first just about beat my now husband to death, and I went into a really big depression. I would not get out of bed, I just did not want to live my life, I even lost about 20lbs the first trimester (complete opposite for the first). My husband had gotten laid off from his job, and I was mad, depressed, and felt most likely a little how you are feeling right now. Another child at that time in my life was not in my plans at all. Again, I wanted to end it, not even believing in abortion, I was for sure believing in it there and then! I then took some time to think it through, and I did not have anyone to talk to. I decided again, there is a reason for it, and I decided to have the baby. Now my son is 2 and he is the light of my life! I love both my babies, and could not imagine not ever knowing them.

I know you LOVE all your babies no matter how old they are. Granted I do not have twins, I will not know exactly what you are feeling, but I have been somewhat there. Just take a look at your kids (when they are sleeping is the best time, then there not asking you funny questions or doing those harder things) for me to reminisce on the great things you have done together, all those memories. If you never had them you would never of had those memories. This is the only thing that got me through my pregnancy with my son, I would just sit in my daughters room at night and look at her and think of all the things we would do, with tears rolling down my face of course.

I am not telling you that you have to keep those babies, I am not the judgmental type. I can't judge someone for thinking the same way I have thought. I am here for you too if you need a shoulder or an ear. It is very strong task that you have been given, you must be a very strong women to be given such a thing. Like I saw in a earlier post, and I am a strong believer, that God never gives you something you cannot handle, take that as you will also. I am not on here to preach. You know your heart, just follow it. Nobody can make up your mind but you.

Hope everything turns out good for you.

Lianne

First of all, I don't want you to think I am flaming you. I have not walked in your shoes so I don't know what you are thinking, feeling, etc.

I do think that there are many of us on here that have had fertility problems (I have found out that I am very fertile as long as the thyroid is working good.) that take it like a stab in the heart that people think about an abortion. Would I agree with that decision? Not really. BUT it is not mine to make and only one you can. I do know that I miscarried and I still cry for that baby. I still miss it. It was hell and painful. I can't imagine the guilt I would feel over causing the loss. I have enough knowing I didn't do something and thinking it was my fault the baby was developing wrong.

Someone also said that some adoptive families will help with baby bills. I have heard that before and I do know how long it can take to adopt a baby. Maybe it's just white babies since that is what my aunt and uncle wanted. Me? It doesn't matter since an adopted child would be loved no matter what by me.

Good luck in what ever you decide to do. You need it as this is a difficult decision to make. *hugs*

I know you've gotten a lot of responses, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you have to be going through this. I'm sorry you're feeling judged by some and I want you to know I will pray for you in whatever decision you make. I believe that everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan and we have no idea what his plan is or why it happens that way. Nobody should in no way judge others for decisions they make, that is not our place to do. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Hi
i just wanted to say this- all this god stuff aside its ur body and your decision. people can have their opinions all they like but only you know what is the right or wrong decision to make. and everyone makes mistakes so dont judge yourself to harshly. your real resposibility is the the children you already have and how having more will effect both them and you and your partner. no one has the right to make you feel horrible for having to make these hard decisions and it's certainly NOT your fault if others cant concieve. and as for the whole god thing, well isnt he meant to be all forgiving for all things and isnt he meant to be non-judgemental.
and please dont stop posting on here, you have the right to say what you want to. it is a public forum.
keep your head held high and know you have friends and supporters here.
feel free to add me as a friend and if you ever need to talk the PM me and i'll always get back to you.
take care of yourself and your love ones.
with the kindest of regards
Tanya

Damn damn damn...I just had a big long response to you and lost it!!!  I'll try to summarize it here but don't have time to re-do the whole thing!

{{Mel}}

You are in serious need of some hugs and shoulders to lean on and cry on.  I must have some big assed shoulders to offer them all the way from Bulgaria.

I just wanted to tell you - when you're making your decision, please try to remember this is a decision you'd be making for life...not for only right now to aleviate the current situation.  Whatever you decide, you will face the decision every morning for the rest of your life.  Doesn't matter if it's every morning when you wake up and take care of an additional set of twins, every morning when you wake up wondering what they're doing with their adoptive parents, or every morning when you wake up knowing you'd decided you couldn't handle this pregnancy so soon after the twins you already have.  Whatever happens...you will wake up every morning to one of those decisions.  PLEASE make sure it's a decision you can truly live in peace with. 

I'd suggest finding a local support group for multiple moms and talking to someone there.  I would hope they also have counselors available that you could talk to - someone unbiased and not really involved in the situation - to help you come to terms with this pregnancy and what it means to your life.  If you'd like me to help you find one - just say the word and I'll be on it - via the internet - all the way from Bulgaria. 

When you're thinking about these new lives growing in your little oven, remember...by the time they get here, the girls will be almost a year old by then...and though they won't be 'less work,' God willing, by then they'll be work 'less often.' I hope that makes sense?  You will definitely need to draw upon the strength and love of your family to help you out with the babies...and definitely get some quadruple birth control going on once the time is right...but you can do this.  I'm not saying it will be easy...and I don't mean to hurt or offend you when I say I'd give my right arm to be in your shoes right now...but since I can't be in your shoes, I'll just cheer you on from the side lines.  You can do this.  You've show in previous posts how strong you are - and I don't think you give yourself enough credit for that strength. 

I wish I was in NY...I'd offer my baby sitting services - I'm really good at holding and spoiling babies...and would love to help you out with the holding and spoiling! 

{{{{{{{{{HUGS!!!!!!}}}}}}}}

Well said Holly, well said!

well said

Meleny, I just want to send you some big ole squishy hugs and know that there are a lot of us out there who, while not faced any types of decision such as the one you are dealing with, understand and support you. I hope that you'll continue to come on this board and keep us updated.  I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Good luck, be well, be blessed

Veronique

I want to apologize for this being long
I like others will put in my two cents.  They are my two cents. I am a Christian and while I personally do not agree with abortion, I also know that it is a necessary evil.  As a Christian, I also know that it is not my place to judge.  That is up to God and when it is your time he will judge you accordingly.  Only He knows your heart.
Having said that, I do hope that you choose to keep the babies.  When I say keep the babies, I do not mean that you have to raise them.  Like others have mentioned, if you feel that you and your fiance are able to provide all of their needs (financial, physical, spiritual, etc), then I say go for it.  If you are adult enough to admit that you cannot give those babies what they need and deserve, then you automatically gain tremendous respect from me.  As others have stated, there are people out there who cannot have children and would love to have yours.  I have a cousin who adopted three kids and another who has been going through the adoption process for too long.  I truly believe that everything happens for a reason.  And I believe that God doesn't give us more than we can handle.  Sometimes I think He has more faith in us, than we do ourselves.  We are all put here for a purpose.  Maybe God has another family in mind for those babies.  I do not know.  What I do know is that I don't envy you nor have the desire to walk in your shoes.  While I know what decision I hope you make, I know it is your decision and you will be the one who has to live with it from here to eternity.  I just hope you make one that you can live with.  I know that my opinion doesn't matter to much and you may not care if I respect you or not and that is fine.  I just want you to know that I respect whatever decision you make.  Yes, I would respect you more if you chose adoption.  I know it is something I couldn't do and I think that is why I respect those who choose adoption as much as I do.  I will also respect you if you choose abortion, even though I may not like it.  Once again, that is a decision I couldn't make.  Good luck to you and your fiance in making the choice that is right for you.  I will say a prayer for you.

my sweet sweet sis, its okay whatever you decide to do is just fine, we luv u and r praying for u feel better ok, Sue