Are you scared?

I feel like I did in the weeks leading up to my surgery. I wasn't scared about regretting the surgery (and I'm not scared about what my life will be like with another child), I'm just scared of the actual process and recovery of labor.... similar to how I was with surgery and recovery. It's this sort of pointless fear because I know I'm not turning back at this point (lol, not like I could or would) but I'm so freaked out by the pain, how no matter how much you plan, labor and delivery is all up in the air until you're getting ready to push... I hate not being able to say "We're leaving for the hospital Wednesday morning, MIL will pick up DD and bring her to the hospital to see the baby that afternoon, yadda yadda..." because there is no way to plan for unknown cir****tances. Then there's the whole anxiety over PAIN. I have had countless fills since being banded and I'm STILL a needle-phobe! Can you believe that?! I've had an epidural before but I'm so freaked out about getting poked! Granted, the pain from the poke is brief and is nothing compared to the pain of labor itself, but I'm still freaked. I'm freaked out about how my genitals are going to be sore and bleeding for God knows how long. I'm freaked out about the possibility of tearing or having an episiotomy (which didn't happen with my other child). I'm freaked out about going into labor while my doc is on vacation this week (even though I'd gladly take having another doc there if it means getting this agony over with sooner rather than later). I'm freaked out about how my nipples are going to be bloody and sore as hell for a while. I'm just a teeny bit worried about how I'm going to keep my MILs feelings from being hurt because she isn't invited to the delivery (and I'd really rather not see her at all until after the baby is born, the woman grinds my nerves in a way that no other human on earth ever could). I'm a little freaked about the possibility of anything being wrong with the baby (no signs of anything being wrong yet, but normal pregnancy doesn't mean nothing can go wrong).

So yeah.... anxiety over the multiple sources of pain.... anxiety over not being able to be my usual micro-detail-oriented self in regards to planning the before/during/after process...

Someone calm my nerves, because magic medicine isn't allowed when you're pregnant unfortunately.

I had a 4th degree tear with my last baby (pre-op) and with this one I had a 3rd degree tear. I was only on pain meds for 2 days and am on nothing right now, 4 days after having baby. I am a little sore down there, but don't need pain meds for that. I had an episiotomy too! I think you might be ok, just depends on how high your pain tolerance is and how fast you heal. It sucks not being able to take NSAID's though. I had to go back in last night to get a blood patch because I had spinal fluid leaking from a spinal tap that I got during labor and it was giving me a headache every time I stood up or was sitting up. Thank goodness that is over!

Now my chest is a little sore from my milk coming in, but I'm not in any real pain. I tried taking Lortab for the pain the first two days and it made me really sleepy and the baby too.

I think you'll be fine, it's a one time thing and when you are in that much pain, you will want a needle poke to help you feel better! Once I got my spinal tap, life was good again. I was too late in my labor to get an epidural (I was a 9 when I got to the hospital), but once the numbing stuff kicked in, I was smiling and so happy. Then I pushed like 20 mins later and my baby was out! GL to you!

THis is my first baby but I am scared to death. Like you I hate the uncertainty. I would love to know that on XX day in May I'll be delivering - but I don't get to decide that! I haven't been there / done that before so the stories of the pain scares me. I know I can handle it - women have done it since the beginning of time.

Just think in a few months we'll look back on this and hopefully be re-assuring other new mommies-to-be that it was all nothing and they'll be fine

I think a lot of us fear the unknown and with each preganancy there is still an unknown factor; from what I have been told each one is different.  But I can say that anxiety is normal in these types of situations.  I saw that you said majic medicine is not allowed when you are pregnant.  So, I am guessing that you are probably on some sort of anti-depressant or anxiety medication.  If my assumption is correct, if I were you I would talk to my doctor about safe alternatives to whatever medication you were on.  I too have anxiety issue and my doctor has said it is ok for me to continue taking my Celexa if I feel it is necessary.  The funny thing is, my anxiety fears of some possible side effect prevents me from taking it.  I have talked to other people who suffer from anxiety and issues and they were able to find an appropriate medication to help relieve their anxiety.

I am definitely nervous and scared. I have never experienced the pain of labor before and am terrified I won't be able to handle it. But I know it won't last forever, even if it sucks for a while. (That's how I try and comfort myself when I get scared crapless!) I am sure my fear will be much worse when I get closer like you.

Tina

I'm scared too!