Anyone pregnant and alone?

This is a long story, so I will try to abbreviate it the best I can.....

My boyfriend is from India and his family is devout Hindu.  Since we have be seeing each other, I have accepted his culture and religion.  Since I found out I was pregnant, we have been discussing how to raise the baby, along with planning on getting married.  UNTIL......he talked to his mother on Monday.  He got up the nerve to tell her and she basically told him to come back to India and forget he even had a baby.

The last week has been hell!!!  And it seems there is no end in sight.  He has gone back and forth everyday.....one day we are carrying out plans as before...marriage, a new apartment, etc.......the next he will get to know the baby from afar.  I'm not sure how much I can take.....I had a coposcopy yesterday and my blood pressure was 156/101.  The OB was scared....he said I needed to cut the stress no matter what the cost.  I'm 17 weeks along and the babies heart rate was good, but my blood pressure 3 weeks ago was 89/65.

The slap in the face is that he isn't even talking to me about the situation, every time I want to talk, he tells me I am pressuring him to get married and I am holding the baby over his head.  Neither of which I am doing.

I'm just so lost, sad, scared and he is truly my only friend so I really don't have anyone to talk to.  I don't want to tell my family he changed his mind.........so I don't even have them to talk to.  I'm trying to get a grip for the sake of my baby, my I am so emotional any way, all I do is cry.

Thanks for listening!

Hugs,

Sandy

oh wow Sandy - I am so sorry for your situation. I can not even begin what it is like to walk a mile in your shoes. I can only encourage you to seek the support of your family. I know you are scared to tell them how your situation has changed, however for the sake of your health and the health of your child you need them to help you deal with everything. Unfortunately until your boyfriend makes a decision one way or another your are in this constant limbo that is not healthy for you and your little one. We are always here for you to vent to, but it also sounds like you need someone to just give you a hug and a smile!

Hang in there and keep us posted

 Sandy.....

I am soooooooooo sorry.....yes, please know you can come here and vent and get support...glad you posted.....

I agree with your doc....please keep all stress down for the baby...I am sure this is insanely stressful for you....if you are not totally comfortable talking to your family go back to your doctor and talk....it is best to talk to someone and get support....your doc may have some suggestions.....I really hope you can talk to your family....they will understand and support you....

And for as much as it hurts to not have your BF talk openly....do give him some space and let him talk to you when you can.....

My prayers and thoughts are with you.....

Ann

 I'm sorry to hear about your situations but let me offer one piece of advice...
Men come and go, but that baby will be yours FOREVER.


Good luck

I will give you the best advice I can. This man will not be there for you and your child. If he wanted to be wild horses, let along "his mother" could not keep him from this, nor would he be hemming and hawing. He is looking for a way to run, and run he will. So here is my advice, get a good counselor and an even better lawyer now! Then make plans to raise your child without him, which I am sure you will end up having to do.

ohh sandy... quick story... wheni got pregnant with my son .. it was a one night stand type deal.. i told him.. he wanted nothing to do with us... around xmas time 2008 i told him the baby had been born and here is our info... basically do what you want with it.. he was sure he would be around for the baby and raise him and blah blah blah... hes now 17 months old and guess what? nothing... plan on doing it your self... and if he decides to stay then good... and if he leaves good...either way you will have a stable loving home for yourself and your child... start looking for an apt yourself..price out airline tickets to india and give it to him.. that way he will know your serious and he needs to make a decision...

I am so sorry for all that is going on. If it were me, I would take so control back otherwise you are going to remain in limbo. I completely agree with Lexa, that you need to be prepared and let him know you can do it on your own and are prepared to. It may give him a big wake up call.

Good Luck to you,
Emily

Like the previous posters, I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now - this is the last thing you need.. That said, the ladies are right - start making plans to do this yourself.  G-d only gives us what we can handle when we can handle it.

You've been blessed with the miracle of a baby and while there will be hard times, the unconditionnal love you will receive from this child will make those difficult moments and decisions pale in comparison. 

Try to take care of yourself, and remember to take things one at a time. You mentionned not wanting to tell your family about your BF's "wishy-washiness", but I would share the burden if I were you - hopefully they will be supportive and offer some ideas or alternatives that could ease your mind AND your stress level - afterall, that's what families are for, no?!

Best of luck!

Hang in there and try to keep the stress down.  There is no way you will win against his mother or his culture.  I have raised a child by myself and I also understand what its like to be with a man from another culture/country.   Their family and culture will always be stronger than anything you can say or do...so focus on yourself and the baby....make plans to do this alone but please talk with your family and get their support.