Are these feelings normal?

Im 7.5 months pregnant with my first child and I belive Im having some terrible feelings. Number one I dont feel any connection with him at all. I always hear everyone saying they were so connected and on and on but i feel nothing. Also I always thought I wanted children but now that he is on his way, im starting to wonder if i really do. I think it will be worth it but it just seems like its going to be a hassle. Are these feelings normal or am I screwed up? Please give me advice.

thanks
tiffany

I am sure that yo'll get some great responses. I am almost 32 weeks with baby #1 (so just a few weeks ahead of you) and I don't know the sex of the baby so I don't call "it" by name or anything. I do feel a great connection to baby but sometimes it feels surreal. I know that nerves have been getting the best of me from time to time. Maybe that's what you are going through - cold feet so to speak. I am sure that you'll love this baby once you meet him!

I'm going with "normal."  I didn't feel really bonded to my baby while I was pregnant, and I wondered if I would like him when he was born.  We were also really concerned because hubby and I had a great time together before I got pregnant, and though we wanted kids, we were worried that we'd miss our "old" lifestyle.  He was born, and I instantly fell in love.  I love that little man far more than I could imagine, and I don't miss the freedom and going out like I did before.  I would rather be with my son and hubby than do anything else.  I think you need to give yourself a break, and know that you're normal.  Even if you don't bond with baby before delivery, I'm sure you will after.  It is the greatest thing that can ever happen!
Good luck!

I think it's pretty normal to get nervous had have questions of if it's the right thing for you. But I would also mention it do your Dr. I had some post pardom depression and they just might want to watch you a bit. I promise you when you see your baby....you will love him :)


Jackie

It is very normal to have a hard time bonding with your baby before they are even here yet! Some people don't have a hard time at all, but others do. The spectrum is broad and no one response to pregnancy can be called "correct" or "healthy".

I also am having fears/doubts occasionally. It is very good that you are being honest with yourself about them! It gets tough when everyone and their mother asks you all about how you feel, all about the unborn baby, etc. Most people seem to want you to just put on a happy face and say, "Everything is perfect!"

But please don't think for one moment that you are having "bad thoughts". At your next OB appointment, do be sure to share your concerns. They would want to know, as they want to make sure you have a healthy birth and a good bonding time. (They will also want to make sure you don't develop post-partum depression, or if you do, they will want to know ASAP so you can get treated and feel better!)

Oh, and I get sad at times thinking about all the ways this kid will "cramp my style". lol I really hope that's not the case... I know life will change, but I think about the sleepless nights and always having to take care of another person besides myself. Very scary stuff! So I try to think about the positives, and I also give it up to God in some serious prayer.

I would say that is normal. I always got annoyed by the stories of "instantly bonded" or feeling "instatnly in love" when you first lay eyes on your newborn. None of that has any bearing on the kind of mother you'll be. If you look at it logically, you have this thing growing inside you making you sick, uncomfortable, and very anxious. Labor is going to hurt, with or without drugs at some point. You're tired and unsure about the future. It's normal to feel all of these things. I think you may just being struggling with the anxiety of impending motherhood/labor/birth/ etc. You do have to mourn the life that you had- it will never be the same. You have no idea what life is going to be like, and that can be scary. That doesn't mean it won't be joyous, or that you won't ever feel bonded. It was a few weeks, I would say more than a month for me with my first baby. I tend to be really practical and seriously, this poor baby is a new person. Just like with any new person that comes into your life, you have to adjust and they grow on you, just like you grow on them. I had to tell myself ot be patient. I love her so much now, but I ams still realistic as far as what role she has in my life and what role I have in hers. If your thoughts keep ppersisting or getting worse, by all means talk to your Dr. I think it is the stage of pregnancy you are in and just feeling overwhelmed. Give yourself permission to be who you are. There is no right or wrong way to be a mother. Sometimes mothers really struggle with particular children, and others not so much. All of that is normal and a part of life. Your children are people too, and just like anyone can be annoying, bothersome, etc. It's important that you ensure you are taking care of them and providing emotional support, but that isn't always instant, and may take some practice. There are always medications if you feel that you can't cope with your feelings and anxiety. You could also see a therapist, which may be helpful before deciding to medicate, which is a big step too. I think you are normal, and I hope you can give yourself the permission to feel what you feel and wait and see- I am sure things will be better than you are thinking right now. If not, then give yourself permission to get the help you need and know that it has nothing to do with whether or not you'll be a great mother.

Carrie

normal. both times ive been pregnant i was so NOT excited... didnt want to be pregant.. had no desire at all to be pregnant.. more or less i was careless with my decisions.. with my first i got semi excited around the 7th month... he was born early and i actually felt jipped because i didnt get to feel him squirm longer.... 2nd comes around... and my 1st was only 9 months..i was mad at my self  .. i did what i had to and around 8.5 months i started gettig excited...

Completely normal, but give your OB a heads up just in case you deal with some postpartum depression (which is also pretty common).  

It's normal to be overwhelmed and scared, and don't put yourself down for your feelings..it will only make things worse.  Just give it time and if it doesn't get better, ask for help.

-Jennifer

I bet once your baby is here you will hold them for the first time and you will know it was worth it... Being a mommy is great, it's crazy at times but there are so many moments that make it worth it... Sometimes I find myself stressed out and my daughter will be 2 next week and I am 32 weeks with twins now and I keep asking myself what the hell am I gonna do with 2 more... But I sit and think about how much fun it's gonna be to see my daughter bond with them and my hubby... He's so great with our daughter... It truly is amazing... I hope I helped some... your feeling seem normal to me... take care :)

 

Chrissy