To Stay Home or To Not Stay Home

I am a SAHM and it is really not all that it is cracked up to be. I would love to work but my husband works from 6pm-6am and then sleeps when he comes home, also works as a Firefighter/EMT for our town and there is no one to watch Max and I refuse to pay $200 a week for daycare. We also only have one vehicle so that makes it hard. We do ok on his income, no extras for us but thats ok.

Dont get me wrong I love love love my little boy and do love being home with him, feel lucky that I can but I am lonely, bored and did I say lonely. All my friends have school age kids so they now work. I do not know a single person near me with a little one that I could get together with.

But if you can do it, then just give it a try. See if you can take an extended maternity leave. Everyone feels different. I see it alot of being the moms who work would love to be a SAHM and the ones who are home would love to work.

Thank you to all of you for your input.

I hope you find the choice that is right for you...we debated on me being a SAHM as well; however, as much as I would enjoy it; I also enjoy my daily life of work.  I have a GREAT job; great income to add to my husbands and I have worked really hard and have a job where they really appreciate my work.  So with all that being said, I will work after about 10 weeks off.  I am going to miss my little one during the day, but I guess in the long run it will make the evenings and weekends that much more special.  Good luck with your decision!  Stacey

I truly love my kids but SAHM is NOT for me. Honestly I would probably be crazy with a capital C if I stayed home every single day with no adult interaction. I love my job and when I come home I appreciate my husband and my girls so much. But for me it has nothing to do with income, I want to work! I pay $300 a week for daycare and I still dont want to quit.

Okay, my opinion is probably isn't worth as much as I have no kids, nor do I have the prospects of any in the forseeable future.  But here had been my game-plan prior to my pending divorce:

I was going to keep my job and make up my mind for sure once I had the baby.  I realize it would mean going back for a minimum of 30 days (after the baby was born and my FMLA was up) to tie up loose ends, but at least then I'd be making an informed decision based on the way that it went once I had the baby.  If I decided that I really should be working, that maybe being a full-time SAHM wasn't my cup of tea, at least I wouldn't have quit a good job.  I think looking for a new job once I had an infant to care for would be tough.  On the other hand, if I realized I wanted to be home full-time, at least there would be a light at the end of tunnel (as in only putting my child in daycare for a month or so, until I was able to give proper notice at work, etc).

It's SO not an easy choice.  I do think it's great that you have on-site daycare as an option.  They do have on-site daycare at the university where I work, but it has like a two year wait list.  Hence me not sure that it was really ever an option. 

Anyhow, good luck, and know in your heart that there is no one right answer.  And if you try something one way, you are not necessarily locked into it forever either; you are a woman, and therefore entitled to change your mind at will.  :)

Cheers!

~Katherine

I don't think deciding to be a SAHM is an easy decision to make at all.  I have worked and stayed at home and both have advantages and disadvantages. 

I stayed at home with Patrick from when he was one till first grade when I returned to work part time.  I have since stopped working again due to lack of work I am a substitute teacher and there is a lot of competition.  Being 23 weeks pg makes it easier to not look as hard for the work too.  lol

I have days when I love each and days when I hate each.  Working can make you feel too busy, overscheduled and you will miss the baby.  But on the flip side staying at home can make you feel like it is totally thankless, you do too much for baby, and it can be boring. 

I think you need to try it if you can, then make up your mind.  I think that is a better scenario than going back to work and longing to stay home.  When I was back to work I would feel so resentful sometimes that I had to be a mom and work. 

I just don't think it is a decision you can make without trying it.  Out of curiousity though will you and DH start trying for another baby again?  I stayed home with just one and that has its own set of advantages and disadvantages.  I am on my second now finally but Patrick is 8 now. 

Best of luck with your decision!!  I am happy for you that you have the option from the get go. 

Thanks for your advice. Everyone gave me various things to think about. I know it is my decision and I just need to take time to try to figure it out!

We plan on trying soon for a baby since I am currently 35. I keep telling hubby let me see how this pregnancy goes before I commit to another one :)

Traci

With my daughter, we decided not to put her in daycare. I worked in the evenings part time after my husband came home from work. I think it was a great decision and at the time we could afford to do that. With this baby, I'm not that lucky. We have bought a house and my husband's hours are not what they used to be. I actually am starting a 2nd job tomorrow just so we can afford our bills. I do have the luxury of being able to take my daughter to work with me which I do occassionally now and I plan on doing that with the baby as well, but this new second job I won't be able to. I wish I could just work part time, that way, I'm home most of the time with my kids, but yet I still have that adult interaction as well as being in the workplace so when they are in school full time, I'll be able to have that work experience still there. But if I were in your shoes where your husband makes plenty of money that you're comfortable without working, I'd at least take that year off to be with my child.

Traci,

I will tell you my experience has been great being at home with my son since he was born... I am glad I had this long to be with him but am dying to go back to work soon... I have been laid off since July 08 and had my son in Dec 08... I had so much time in that I was able to collect unemployment since that time... I was lucky (if you consider less than half of what you're used to earning lucky)... But I wouldn't trade the world for the time I've gotten to spend with Zander!!

In your situation, I would definitely stay home at least for the 1st year... If you can survive on just his income, I say do it... You will love the bonding time you'll have...

i could never... as much as i love jayson..i couldnt... work is the only time i have to my self... and really i like to pee in peace every once in a while