Miscarried 2 weeks ago

mel2008
on 2/24/10 4:20 am - Denver, CO

Found out i was just 6 weeks pregnant and than miscarried one week later. I cant shake the feeling that i will never be able to have kids now. I am 24 in the best health of my life i weigh 148 and don't smoke or drink. I am in a relationship and we are getting married. The baby was not planned but once i found out i was ready to change everything in my life. Then it was just taken away in the blink of  an eye.. A part of me now want to try like in a couple months to replace what i have lost but another part of me has a fear that it will happen again. I don't really talk about it with my better half cause i can tell it just upsets him.. I am very happy for the women on here that are pregnant and who have babies.. I just want to get to that point with me as well. And i don't know how to bring up to my partner how i am feeling ... I have never really reach out because I am usually able to just move on when things don't work out but.. this is different. I just wanted to see what everyone thoughts are and if what i am feeling is normal. Thanks, and God Bless.

imnotknitting
on 2/24/10 4:59 am, edited 2/24/10 4:59 am
Hi there. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. What you are feeling is completely normal. I have had 2 m/c's and both of them were very difficult emotionally (I lost both between 5 and 7 weeks). It's perfectly normal to be terrified that you'll have another m/c (I am still terrified at almost 18 weeks). I can't promise that you wouldn't have another if you were to try again. But I will say that miscarriages with a first pregnancy are quite frequent. Then a lot people go on to have a healthy second pregnancy. Not everyone, but a lot of people do. I hope you and your fiance are able to make a decision about when you will try together. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you make this decision together. The last thing I will say is, don't keep yourself from mourning. You need to be able to mourn your loss.
Sarah V.
on 2/24/10 8:17 am

It's still very fresh for you.  Two weeks is not much time to have absorbed what happened.  It's not something that you just "move on" from like you can with other things.  Give yourself as much time as you need to grieve.

As for your partner, just remember that men handle these things much differently than we do.  They don't bond with the baby until much later in the pregnancy when they can see/feel evidence that it's real.  My husband could not understand, and probably still doesn't, why I couldn't just get over it when I miscarried.  The only thing that made it better was time and then getting pregnant again.

I WAS afraid the same thing would happen again.  I got extremely nervous before every ultrasound thinking there would be no heartbeat because that was what happened the first time.

When you're ready to try again, you'll know.  Until then just allow yourself to feel whatever you need to.  What you're going though is completely normal. 

Hang in there.

Lap Band September 2007 / Slip discovered March 2014 after significant regain / Revised to VSG April 29, 2014


 

Kathy W.
on 2/24/10 3:04 pm - Enfield, CT
RNY on 01/15/08 with
I am so sorry for your loss. This is NOT something that you can just move on with. It takes time, tears, and sometimes even therapy. I miscarried in July and just was able to feel at peace in January. In fact, I was sucking down raspberry tea for nausia at my last therapy session. I know for me it just clicked all of a sudden. Today was my 3rd ultrasound and I was scared to death that the baby wouldn't be there. I loss my other one at this point in the pregnancy. I had some spotting and had an ultrasound. Saw the heartbeat and stuff. Went in the next day for my scheduled 8 week one (that was at 7 weeks) and nothing was there. It's totally normal to be scared. Good luck hun and we are all here for you.

I shall now be know as Hagatha: Queen of the queens.

Baby 7-09

Xavier Elliott born 10-5-10

mel2008
on 2/25/10 3:12 am - Denver, CO
Thank you all so much for your support.. It makes me feel better to know everything i am feeling is normal.. I know that my OBGYN told me its not your fault but I just was still down. One moment i am fine and know there is a reason for everything. Then the next min. i think but i wish i still had my baby. I know that i will in the future be blessed with a beautiful healthy baby.. and i will cherish her/him with all my heart.
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