Help with feelings after a MC

Hi all,

I am sorry to ask these questions, but I am just confused. We lost our pregnancy around 6 weeks, almost 7. I am surprised at how emotional it was, how difficult it still is. This was our first pregnancy. My questions are right now, I don't feel like I want to try again. I don't want to risk going through this again. Thankfully my husband is super supportive, however I know he does want to try. Will I calm down over this,  is it something I just have to work through? I feel like I am overreacting, and should be able to handle this much better.

Sorry again to be a downer, but I wasn't sure who else to ask.

Thanks

A loss is a loss, no matter the cir****tances, and I am so sorry for all that you have been through. If you aren't ready to try again, you aren't ready yet. If you feel like maybe you are ready, but still super worried about those first few weeks, try to find a Dr. who might see you sooner and maybe be more supportive during the pregnancy than the typical "you're just like every other pregnant woman here" stance. I know that after a stillborn at 22 weeks this has been helpful, especially since the worry never really leaves- I am now at 24 weeks with twins and still worry about something happening to them. Perhaps having a Dr. on your side who knows your situation and will be patient with your worries/concerns/questions/calls would be helpful when you do feel ready to try again. Unfortunately miscarriages do happen, and there is never any guarantee. But is the risk worth it when you finally do hold a baby in your arms? I believe so. Good luck!

Carrie

I felt like that too. Infact I was all over the place. One day I was spending tons of money on digital ovulation kits, the next day I was screaming at my husband that I was going to make an appointment and have my tubes tied. It was so hard to deal with the emotion of wanting to be hopeful, but so sad and bitter that it happened. It took me awhile - honestly about 6 months before I actually started to feel better. I still cry when I think of the child that wasn't meant to be, but have comfort in my own way in knowing that he or she is waiting for me on the other side.

(((HUGS))) It takes as long as it takes you are entitled to feel whatever you want. Hang in there!

When we lost our baby at 14 weeks and I was devastated. The Ultrasound said the baby had died at 9 weeks. I was heart broken and 4 years later I still am. We have other children but it still was horrible and I thought I would never be able to move on. I finally felt ready last year only to be told it probably wasn't possible. Three months later I was pregnant. Even as this pregnancy progresses I have moment of tears for the one we lost.  I feel there is a gap where my LO should be. I talked to nurse at my PCP's office and she said she lost a baby once along time ago and she still has days of sadness.  She said having another baby to focus on helped her but even know with her children grown she will occasionally morn. I guess my point is you will wonder about the baby you lost and you will always miss him/her, but in time it does get better. 

God Bless,
Emily

 Chrissy,


There is no need to apologize for posting about how you feel.  I wish there was a magic potion to make us feel better when we lose a baby.  I don't care if it is at 5-6 weeks or at 20+ weeks...most people believe a baby is a baby..regardless how far along you are.  So, you grieve the way you need to.  When I lost a baby in between babies 2 and 3...I cried and cried...and I was only 6 weeks along.  I immediately tried to get pregnant again and did and had a beautiful baby.  She did not replace the lost baby...but she definitely helped to get my mind off of it.  Then I lost a twin pregnancy at week 16 between children 7 and 8....oh my goodness that was traumatic.  I was so excited about having twins and just was in disbelief when I went in for my U/S and the tech called the doc in because there were no heartbeats.  I even went back the next day to do a repeat u/s because I REALLY did not believe that they were gone.  I had no symptoms of a miscarriage and every symptom of being pregnant...but they really were gone.  

So...those were my two experiences.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and just remember that you need to morn how you need to morn.  Do not let anyone lessen your feelings because you "were only 6 weeks along".  It doesn't matter...you loved that baby no matter how big or small.  

I hope you start to feel better soon.  I am here to day it won't ever go away, but it does get easier with time. 

Hugs,

Laura

I know exactly how you feel. I lost mine at 7 weeks (measuring 6). I was afraid to try again and even was in denial when I got pregnant this time. I swore up and down is was killer PMS. At least this time we have an idea as to why I might have miscarried. I had low thyroid and this time around I have low progesterone. The docs think those two combined might have done it. I did go through a VERY dark time. It really isn't easy to get over. I needed therapy to help me. And you never really get over it. It just hurts less. Don't worry about being a downer. There are many wonderful women here that have been in the same situation and can be a wonderful help. *hugs*

There is nothing but time and supportive friends / family that will help you to get over it. You never forget, but you will get to a point where you are OK. I lost our first pregnancy too. I was 11 weeks and we went in for our first ultrasound and there was nothing but an empty sac. I had a blighted ovum, basically there was conception and implantation and that's where things stopped. I was the opposite though, I felt robbed and wanted to be pregnant again as soon as possible. I had my D&E June 19th and was given the OK to start trying again in July. Well I conceived in August and now I'm 27 weeks along. The worry is there before every ultrasound, but now that I can feel the baby move all the time some of the fear has gone away.

*hugs* hang in there - I promise it does get better!

Liz

I am sorry for how you are feeling.  Unlike many of the great ladies on this forum; I can't tell you I know what you are feeling because I haven't had your situation...but I can't imagine.  My husband lost his first child with his first wife when she was 8 months (still born)...and when we got pregnant, as much as we both want this, he still worries and we are just 7 weeks until delievery.  I hope that you find comfort and ease at some point, and if you heart ever desires to conceive again you will have a healthy successful pregnancy.

Good Luck and God Bless-Stacey

I am sorry for your loss . I cant say I know how you feel or understand how you feel but i am currently going thru a possible miscarraige right now i have to get my numbers done today . so i can relate to the stress of the process. I wish you the best

I am so sorry for your loss. I totally understand not wanting to try again. After my first m/c (I have had 2), I couldn't even think about or look at babies or contemplate trying for one so soon. After my second I wanted try again immediately. It took me 3 months to get pregnant after my 2nd m/c (there were years between the first 2). If I lost this one, I am not sure I could try again. I feel hopeful, since I was between weeks 5-7 for both of my m/c's and now I am in my 2nd trimester. But I still worry every day.
I would say, you have to wait until you feel ready otherwise you won't enjoy your pregnancy. My hubby was a little impatient to try again as well, but he understood that I wanted to wait. It sounds like your man is pretty understanding too. You need your time to mourn. But time will help. You will feel better, I promise. Even though I know it doesn't seem like it right now.

Tina